Leaving child in hotel room

[smileygrapefruit]

Me, DH and DC were at a wedding yesterday that was in a hotel. Most of the guests were staying at the hotel as it was in the middle of no where. My DC had been playing all day with our friend's 1 yo DS. At the evening reception my DC asked the parents where their DS was as they wanted to dance with him... "he's in bed" they said. Turns out they had just put him to bed in their hotel room and gone to the party. They didn't even go back to check at all, all evening. We kept our DC up til 9ish then took it in turns to sit in the room with them. I had to stop my DH from telling them how awful their behaviour was, didn't want to cause a scene, but was IBU to do so? Maybe he would have guilt tripped them in to going back to their room. How should I have dealt with this situation or is it no body else's business??

We've stayed at big manors for weddings and put our dd to bed in her cot, with a monitor and lockable door. I was completely happy with that situation as it was like a house, we asked for a room which would be central. It was fine.

Give over demander. Arguments based on what-aboutery are bollocks.

By the way, goodness knows how some
of you ever intend to remove your children from their own bedrooms if there is a fire in your home - I do hope you have some kind of fireproof escape shoot built in for such measures. Surely you should make sure you are by their side 24/7 just in case, if we are going by the standards of MN logic.

I'm just jealous they have a 1 year who'd sleep long enough to do this!

In all seriousness I wouldn't do that- I still use a monitor with my 3 year old!

I wouldn't even consider doing this. At my brother's wedding we kept DS up til about 10, he fell asleep for an hour or so then woke up cross so I took him up (DH would have done but I was early days of pregnancy and no-one knew so was glad of the chance to slope off to bed) and stayed with him.

We took DS to a family wedding recently and put DS to bed and took turns sitting with him. DH's cousin has a baby about 3 months younger and they left him in their room saying he would sleep through. I would never say anything to them and I'm sure they thought we were precious for not leaving DS, but there is absolutely no way I would.

It's not the abduction thing that scares me so much as the fire risk.

Siarie in the case of a fire in my home, I won't be fighting my way up the stairs against a flow of panicking people running back down.

I will know the layout of my home far far better in smoke and darkness than a hotel I've never stayed in before.

I won't have to get through a locked door to get my children out of bed.

It's really not the same at all.

I wouldn't leave a child alone without at least a monitor. I've done the monitor thing twice, each time there were two children in the same room. I was about 5 metres away from one room and could see our bedroom door and hear in the room
The other time it was up a floor and we took it in turns to check on the children and spend 20-30 minutes each shared between 6 of us so that worked out well, they were aline in the room for about 5-10 mins on a couple of switch over times when people had forgotten to take over but monitor was in place anyway for help if needed by patent watching the children lol

Surely you should make sure you are by their side 24/7 just in case, if we are going by the standards of MN logic.

Nope, but you should not ever be a few floors away in a noisy environment in a public building, unless there is a babysitter with them.

Bloody hate how these threads disintegrate into "Ah, but what if..."

I adore my children and I will not take unnecessary risks with their safety. I don't think that's unreasonable "Mumsnet standards." It's being a parent.

Extract from NSPCC guidelines. Incredible that anybody would do this.

There might not be a specific legal age to leave children alone but it’s safe to say babies, toddlers and young children should never be left alone, even if it’s just while you pop down the road. Even if they’re sleeping peacefully when you leave they could well wake up and get very upset when you’re not there to look after them. They would not be able to protect themselves in an emergency and may even try to leave the property to find you.

at how people always justify this with whataboutery and bitchiness about perfect parents.

Give over demander. Arguments based on what-aboutery are bollocks.

Well, it's important that you realise that whataboutery isn't anything, if you wish to challenge my arguenet please do so.
As it stands you've simply called it bollocks which rather exposes your inability to provide a reasoned and defendable alternative view point.

shock at how people always justify this with whataboutery and bitchiness about perfect parents

Nobody is justifying anything

Are you absolutely sure the child was alone? I have had a babysitter from the hotel watch my DC whilst I was downstairs at a wedding.

My parents did it once when I was 2. They left me in bed asleep while they went downstairs for a meal. I slept and didn't even know they'd gone.

My mum said it was incredibly stupid - and commented on how there could have been a fire. I also think it was rather stupid! But I lived to tell the tale.

However, I think everyone's perception of risk is different. Everyone (well most people here) are saying what if this and what if that. But actually, if you know that you have a baby/toddler who sleeps like a log and can't get out of their cot, the chances of anything happening ARE very slim. OK a fire alarm could go off with no fire. In all the times I have stayed in a hotel in my life, a fire alarm has gone off once.

I wonder what the non Brits reading this thread think. We tend to be far more paranoid about our kids in this country eg not letting them walk to school on their own for years longer than in other countries.

To answer a few people: yes I am absolutely certain there was no babysitter or monitor. I suppose they could have been pulling our legs but that's not the impression that any of us got and honestly you wouldn't have been able to hear a phone or monitor, it was a very very loud party and the parents were partying away in the middle of the dancefloor.

I, personally, was most concerned about what if they woke up. They would have been scared and alone for potentially hours.

Nothing did happen and the child was safe and well the next morning.

Children simply do not get abducted every day, it's ludicrous to live your life as if you're surrounded by criminals

It's not about abductions it is about

1. fire safety I have a disability so when I check in to a hotel I ask for a note for the night manager that I might need help with an evacuation.

2. accidents, a child's room at home will (hopefully) be childproof but a hotel? Is the child in a travel cot? Are they on the bed? Can they get out?

3. a young child waking in the night in an unfamiliar place and being upset.

It's like wearing seat belts, 99.95 of the time you are not involved in a collision.

OP

I htink I would have let the hotel know.