Leaving child in hotel room

[smileygrapefruit]

Me, DH and DC were at a wedding yesterday that was in a hotel. Most of the guests were staying at the hotel as it was in the middle of no where. My DC had been playing all day with our friend's 1 yo DS. At the evening reception my DC asked the parents where their DS was as they wanted to dance with him... "he's in bed" they said. Turns out they had just put him to bed in their hotel room and gone to the party. They didn't even go back to check at all, all evening. We kept our DC up til 9ish then took it in turns to sit in the room with them. I had to stop my DH from telling them how awful their behaviour was, didn't want to cause a scene, but was IBU to do so? Maybe he would have guilt tripped them in to going back to their room. How should I have dealt with this situation or is it no body else's business??

The welfare of children is everyone's business.
Turning a blind eye is how neglect and suffering goes on.
'None of your business' is a shameful attitude. I'm with your husband op.

Are you sure they're not winding you up on the no monitor?

They could have watched via a smartphone one periodically...

There's no law against it as such but if their child had woken and hurt themselves being unattended they could be charged with neglect. Not worth it IMO.

No, it's awful. No, it didn't happen in the good old days with anyone I know in real life. No, not ok with a baby monitor as you can't get there quick enough.

I don't understand how you know they weren't checking on him.
Any wedding I have been to, people move tables, get up to dance, go to the bar, go to the bathroom. How on earth could you know where the parents were every moment of the evening?

My parents did this once when I was a toddler. They left me asleep in the hotel room and went down for a drink in the bar.

The fire alarm went off and the hotel was evacuated. While everyone else was streaming down the staircases, they were frantically fighting their way back up to get me.

They were completely traumatised and never did it again!

I loved it though, it's actually one of my earliest memories. I thought the fire engines were awesome and I remember being jealous of a little boy who got to sit in one of them

It's shit parenting. And it certainly wasn't the norm when I grew up in the 70s/80s.

Their DC really might not wake up, our DD1 never woke up once she was asleep at that age. That wouldn't be my concern. Nor would what happened to Madeleine McCann, at least if the door was locked. But I would be concerned what they would do if the fire alarm went off, because you can't use the lift. It's definitely not good.

@frieda909, yes that's my point. It really doesn't bear thinking about if there really were to be a fire.

I wouldn't allow that in my hotel. If I received or witnessed a child alone in their room I'd go mad.
You are relying on a magnet to keep your child safe. Sometimes key cards can malfunction and let you into someone else's room, sometimes a staff with a master key can drop it and a guest picks it up, sometimes the door doesn't fully shut and can be pushed open, sometimes the lock malfunctions... there are so many different ways that the door is not secure and there is no way I would leave my child alone like that.
Asides from the stranger danger danger aspect, there are usually irons in bedrooms, coffee machines, hot taps, windows etc, any number of things which could be dangerous to an unsupervised child. Yes you need to use your common sense but no way would I allow that with a child so young.

There was nothing wrong with it. This was bog standard when I was a kid, and there is absolutely no evidence that children are any more at risk today than they were then. Children simply do not get abducted every day, it's ludicrous to live your life as if you're surrounded by criminals.

There are windows in most children's bedrooms !?

Ok so between me and DH we are 99% they didn't check on him, also just from the way they answered my questions that seemed to be the case. Tbh last night the main thing that was bothering me was that he might wake up and be terrified... ok so that wouldn't have killed him but it wouldn't have been very nice!

He was in a travel cot so probably safely contained (don't know if he can climb out)

But even if you take risk out of the education, what happens if a young child wakes up (and in a strange room and strange bed this is much more likely than at home) and is scared- for hours! I think it's bloody awful and wouldn't dream of doing it. I've have reported them to hotel management and let them have a word.

Who the hell did this in the 70s/80s? I've never known anyone to do this ever

Why do people keep mentioning the McCanns? My parents didn't even do that in the 70s/80s. I remember them getting babysitters when we were on holiday and they wanted to have a grown up drink without us.

My parents did this, they went for drinks and left my sister and I in the room with instructions to pick up the phone and speak to reception if anything happened - we were about five and two. They found us in reception making a complaint because nobody answered the phone never did it again though!

But on a more serious note, no. Leaving a one year old in a hotel room alone is definitely not on.

Sunbeam In the 1970/80s there was the Butlins child listening service. Other holiday venues/hotels probably did similar.

Families would go out to the evening entertainment and leave babies and toddlers asleep in the chalet, which could be 10/15 minutes walk away from the theatre. Staff would patrol the chalets and parents would be notified of crying DCs by a board flashing up in the venue 'child crying in chalet 456' for example.

Yessss! I remember that at Butlins. My mum and dad would be in the midnight cabaret watching the entertainment, and a group of red coats would be patrolling round the chalets. If a baby cried or noise was being made, that got relayed to the redcoats in the cabaret who would either write it on a big wipeboard and show it - "CRYING BABY IN CHALET 310" or, if you went to one of the posher ones, had it lit up on like a board thing.

I couldn't imagine it now, but in those days it was so hard to get into Butlins even when you were supposed to be there, that you wouldn't have had to worry about kidnappers or anything like that.

I wouldn't do this, and I remembered being horrified ten years ago when my SIL did. The hotel had a 'listening service'.

But then she thought I was precious because I wouldn't do it...

I wouldn't say anything to someone else though, it is their choice and them that has to live with that choice.

No way I would do this with a child!

My DH & I have a young child and would take turns in the hotel room as you describe. On holiday we do dinner at a time that suits DC and then retire to our hotel room early doors as we wouldn't leave him.

Definitely not with such a little one. I'd maybe do it with a baby monitor, or otherwise maybe once they are 5/6 years old, if they know the place and know where I am and are confident getting me if they need me. I'd still check in every 15 minutes or so. And not in a big chain hotel until much older, given stranger danger - we'd take turns or keep them up.

Depending on the hotel I've done this with mine. When DD1 was 2 we were at a small hotel for a wedding and they had a listening service so between reception checking every 15 minutes and us checking every half hour we knew she was fine. We are also in the situation that neither of ours will settle and actually go to sleep if we're in the same room. At other hotels this has meant finding the nearest sofa outside or sitting on a hall floor!

Now that DD1 is 8 she can use my phone so we leave that with her so she can call us. We also make sure she knows how to use the room phone so can call reception. We know we can trust our 2 not to go wandering off or abuse the trust of being left with a phone. I know people are worried about a Madeleine McCann situation and we make sure we are happy with any security before we go beyond sight of the room.

How do you know there was no babysitter though. To be honest if you were interrogating with have you no monitor?, have you no babysitter and looking totally disapproving, if it were me I'd have just said no so as wind you up for being so nosy/judgy.