Leaving child in hotel room

[smileygrapefruit]

Me, DH and DC were at a wedding yesterday that was in a hotel. Most of the guests were staying at the hotel as it was in the middle of no where. My DC had been playing all day with our friend's 1 yo DS. At the evening reception my DC asked the parents where their DS was as they wanted to dance with him... "he's in bed" they said. Turns out they had just put him to bed in their hotel room and gone to the party. They didn't even go back to check at all, all evening. We kept our DC up til 9ish then took it in turns to sit in the room with them. I had to stop my DH from telling them how awful their behaviour was, didn't want to cause a scene, but was IBU to do so? Maybe he would have guilt tripped them in to going back to their room. How should I have dealt with this situation or is it no body else's business??

The only time I did something similar was when me and exdh took kids on holiday to a b&b and we sat in the bar which was opposite the front door, our room was at most 20 meters away but we couldn't see the door but we did have a baby monitor.

Alpaca I just know. It wasn't just me and DH who were aware, my DSis also asked them... they were very upfront and relaxed about it. They were dancing and drinking at a very loud party, there's no chance you'd hear a phone or monitor even if they did have one...which they didn't.

I wouldn't even entertain the idea of doing that. My parents would not have done it in the 90s either.

Abduction would be at the back of my mind but I'd be more concerned about DC waking up and finding me gone; my DC would be distraught. I'd also be worried about them having an accident but a 1 year old in a cot kind of negates that.

I just would not relax at all rendering the whole thing totally pointless.

My parents left my 2 year old sister and I in our hotel room - I was 6 - back in the mid Eighties while they had dinner downstairs for just over an hour.

Needless to say, nobody was abducted, mysteriously fell ill, or died.

Shock, horror.

My parents did this with us when we were younger in the 80's (came out in conversation when the McCann case was all over the news) to say I was shocked they did it was an understantment, obviously none of us came any harm but still, I'd never ever risk it, for what? A couple hours kid free time and a few drinks? No.

And I'm not an uptight helicopter mum, I let mine figure things out for themselves, get into bumps and scrapes etc but even with a listening service I wouldn't do it, as PP's have said what if they wake up and are scared? Horrible thought :(

my parnts did it late 70's at butlins they usd to hav staff walking round to see what kids needed help

ridiculous really i never let them forget it

I found a picture of the infamous "Baby Crying" board from Butlins in case anyone's interesting. How we survived the 70s I'll never know!

We went to a wedding a few years ago, there was a small fire and we were evacuated (luckily nothing major and we were allowed back in by the fire brigade) a couple had left their two little ones in the room and when they brought them out to meet up with us all they looked terrified, the parents were both ashen and headed off home when we were let back in.

People have been arrested for that kind of thing in the past. I have no idea how I would have reacted though. When I'm shocked I tend to give it away quite easily though. One look at my face and I am sure they would have known exactly what I thought that of it.

Can't believe anyone thinks this is acceptable, it's being a total failure as a parent, to do with 'no one is perfect' drivel that gets churned out by inadequate people. The kid could choke on its own vomit, get tangled in sheets, get smothered, fall out of its bed, scream for hours with increasing distress, come down with temperature and fever, play with cables, the possibilities are endless not even taking into consideration the low likelihood of being abducted or a fire breaking out or anything happening to the (crap) parents. If you choose to have a kid, you accept the fact that there are things you cannot do for several years such as fucking off to a party. Pretty basic and obvious.

I'm not a parent, so clearly no expert on this subject. But I cannot imagine leaving a one-year-old child in a hotel room on its own with no monitor or anything. Surely a kid that 'never wakes up' at home is a lot more likely to wake up in a hotel with unfamiliar noises going on all the time? Also, easy to regulate temperature in your own house but not so easy in a hotel room with those weird/impossible to operate properly heating/air con units that leave you either blue with cold or sweating like a pig and suddenly kick in when you least expect it.

I'm old enough to be of an era when baby monitors weren't a thing, and I remember vividly that when I was a child, whenever my parents had any kind of party to which someone had turned up with a baby, the baby's cot would get put in my bedroom with me on the understanding that I would come downstairs and alert the parents of said baby if it started crying. So I don't think that even 30-40 years ago leaving a baby unattended like this was really the norm.

This is very common, we've been at weddings where we've been the only ones not to do it and treated as odd

I would never ever risk it, and WTF difference does a monitor or listening service make? What possible risk/hazard can that prevent?

I don't think it's that bad, chances are nothing will happen as a result.
Every now and then you have a 1 in 10million experience but frankly that could be any weird event you don't foresee. Like a van mounting a kerb and hitting your buggy.
Are people going to stop walking buggys on pavements? NO.
They've done it now. Its not going to be a regular occurrence. It doesn't sound like you know the detail. I'd leave it alone.

I did it with dc1, but it was a small hotel, occupied only by the wedding guests, our room was directly above the function room and we had a video monitor. I did however end up having too much to drink (barely had a drink since having dc and alcohol tolerance had plummeted) and didn't check the monitor as often as I'd meant to.

I feel a bit queasy about it, looking back. In those early days of parenthood though, I didn't really know what I was doing. You learn.

it's nothing like walking down the pavement with a buggy! it's leaving your child unattended

and in RL im in the minority to not do it

The kid could choke on its own vomit, get tangled in sheets, get smothered, fall out of its bed, come down with temperature and fever, play with cables, the possibilities are endless

All of those things could happen to a child in its own bed.

I'd be more concerned about an older child being left alone than a baby asleep in a cot, with less access to potential hazards.

YANBU and they are fucking awful parents. Anyone who thinks this is ok is too. Fucking disgusting. I would have said so to them.

Disgusting. Shit parenting at its best/worst. I wouldn't' have stopped DH from saying something. Better yet, I'd have said something myself - expressed my disbelief that they had left their vulnerable baby alone in a strange room many floors away from them.

Alternatively, alert a member of managerial staff to the situation and let them deal with it.

but they just said "once he's asleep he doesn't wake up".
These people are pretty thick aren't they? It's not just a case of the baby sleeping through.

What if a stranger enters the room - either accidentally (wrong key), or for more nefarious purposes? Or the alarm system goes off (has happened to me on heaps of occasions. Some required evacuation; some didn't). Flooding from the floor above over the baby's bed (has happened to my family). Or there's a fire?

It's awful parenting. I've never and would never do this, even before the McCann case.

YANBU and they are fucking awful parents. Anyone who thinks this is ok is too. Fucking disgusting. I would have said so to them.
I think people just get a bit too much steamed up about inconsequential things where harm is unlikely to result and don't do anything about dreadful things that are actually happening.
20,000 kids under 5 die every day from preventable illness. Are you steamed up and raging about that?
Child labour, where the child is likely to be harmed, is common among more then half the population of the world. What's your view on that?
FGM?
Children as young as 8 being married to adults?
Girls of 11 and 12 dying in labour?
Nah, you're probably right . Best to get all righteous indignant and abusive about a kid in a bed safe warm and well fed.

it's nothing like walking down the pavement with a buggy! it's leaving your child unattended and in RL im in the minority to not do it

It's the unlikeliness of harm but the unpredictability of that harm which is can be related. Try to be more open minded and less literal for the sake of picking an argument. :)

I don't know how you know who would or would not do it in RL, you seem to have statistics, are you able to share?

Odfod demander

YADNBU. This is bad parenting and possibly legal neglect. I always report things like this. It's about the child, not the parent.

Odfod demander biscuit

Thought so. Nothing of value or relevance to add.

Child of the 70's here and never got left without a babysitter. - Granted my parents didn't go out much, but when they did, they hired a sitter.

I'd judge those parents tbh. Any time DP and I went away we stayed in the room or tag-teamed or got a sitter. Even if DS wasn't a poor sleeper and always slept through I'd still have done it in case of alarms or other emergencies.