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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To make an official complaint about colleague?

792 replies

Abouttoblow · 03/09/2017 15:12

I'm really don't want to go to work tomorrow as I've had enough of selfish workmate.
I really love my work. I've been in this job for 10 years, find it fulfilling, great terms and conditions but if things carry on I will go mad.
Colleague had twins 5 years ago and returned to work 2 days a week. Since she had her DC she seems to think that they take priority over her job - even when she is at work. Her DM and SIL take care of them so I would assume they are reliable and trustworthy but she rings them every half hour to check on things. Every half hour WITHOUT FAIL. She will even excuse herself from meetings.
My main issue though is that every appointment she has, doctor, dentist etc she arranges on the days she is at work. We have flexible working to accommodate for this, more so for full time staff who work every day, so we take shorter breaks or start early/finish late to make up the time but she doesn't bother. She just goes off for an hour or so at a time and that's it. This has been going on for years and I've spoken to my boss but nothing is ever addressed with her.
Anyway, her DC start school soon and she came in last week with a list of things she just MUST attend at school - prize givings, parents in-school days, assemblies and I know if they're on either of her 2 working days she will just go.
She won't have holiday leave to cover this as she is off for most of the summer and I'm sure she will want half term etc now too.
I've just had enough and it makes me so angry that she thinks this is acceptable.
AIBU to make an official complaint to Personnel?

OP posts:
Abouttoblow · 05/10/2017 20:06

Thanks Fancy

It might sound really simplistic but all I wanted throughout this whole situation was for things to be fair and right

OP posts:
Abouttoblow · 05/10/2017 20:13

Absolutely Missy makes no sense other than the fact that when she is in an extra day she'll be paid but is unwilling to take on another days work and would be getting paid if she "nipped out" for personal stuff. Although she knows she can't do that now.
Crazy!

OP posts:
AnneElliott · 05/10/2017 21:00

Thanks for the update op. Can't believe CF still doesn't get it.

I work for the public sector and abuse of flexi is taken very seriously. We once had a senior member of staff who thought he did compressed hours (ie36 hrs) in 4 days by doing 10-4 Monday to Thursday.

But he didn't ever work Monday to Thursday. He always had an excuse; grandmothers dying, burglary, loss of contact lenses, car crash etc.

Unfortunately for him we got a new boss, she spoke to everyone in the team about the issues and he was clearing his desk by 11am!

He wasn't sacked from the civil service but he had to leave our team. He couldn't believe it- he gaped like a goldfish while new boss sort of ushered him out!

thatdearoctopus · 05/10/2017 21:01

What's to stop her just continuing as before though, and clocking in but then going off for breakfast/off to take husband's wedding ring etc.. It's never been "allowed" for her to do this, but she's continued regardless. Is anyone going to be monitoring her?

Abouttoblow · 05/10/2017 21:06

That I went off on holiday after the meeting with Personnel when she requested a private meeting. Obviously don't know what happened but there's been a definite shift in her actions. No going off for breakfast after clocking on etc. Makes me think there has been some discussion

OP posts:
ScissorBow · 05/10/2017 21:20

Great update About!

Timefortea99 · 05/10/2017 21:35

I work with a lot of cheeky fuckers. I can only dream they will get their comeuppance- they won't so I will just have to celebrate the fact that yours did!

ThomasRichard · 05/10/2017 21:54

This is bizarre. If I had someone on my team doing this, they would be going through disciplinary procedures in a shot. Do you not have an on-site manager?

Abouttoblow · 05/10/2017 22:17

Thomas We do but without giving too much away they are not always there, all day, every day.
For instance if he was not there she would come in at 9.00 and clock in at that time. Piss off to Costa, get breakfast, come back, have breakfast and start work at maybe 10-ish.
Then piss off for an hour for whatever ridiculous reason (husband's wedding ring, mothers washing machine) and not flexi off. So not working for at least 2 of her 8 hours!!
I don't know whether you RTFT but a lot of posters thought I was absolutely wrong for being hacked off Confused

OP posts:
PashPash · 05/10/2017 22:21

Im glad the tide of opinion has swung in your favour op.

We've had one of these. It poisons the morale of the whole team.

LucieLucie · 05/10/2017 22:35

She sounds absolutely infuriating @Abouttoblow she’s a dishonest pisstaker who would be any employers worst nightmare.

If she disappears off again in the middle of the day I’d make it a safety concern and report her missing at work to her line manager and HR.

Either that or speak to the Fire Warden and arrange an alarm test while she’s AWOL, surely the headcount in the car park and subsequent consequences ie fire brigade if in real situation were present having to go in a burning building to find the feckless bitch.

Expose her each and everytime. No one likes a lazy dishonest co-worker.
I certainly wouldn’t put up with it.

Ohhurryup · 05/10/2017 22:37

Dear Abouttoblow, I've just read this thread and am sending high fives your way! I've worked with piss takers too and felt the anger you and your colleagues do.

For what it's worth, here are my thoughts.

Your colleague is just very self-centred. She doesn't think to use the flexi system for personal errands and assumes you all do the same. She was astounded that you lot make doctor's appointments on your days off or make up the time when you have to leave early/come in late. She works around the convenience of her own life and it doesn't cross her mind that anyone else thinks differently.

She has a very low ethical code. She can't understand she's stealing, she has no sense of fair play or justice, she tells lies (wedding ring..??).

When she's called out on her behaviour as you SO BRILLIANTLY managed to do by getting Personnel to hammer home the rules, she takes it personally and feels entitled and special and victimised.

In short, she is likely some sort of narcissist. You can't reason with people like this. Keep away, smile internally, you have made your point and effected a change.

I still think you were right to do something about it, all the "keep out of it" types (who have all gone silent now that you have been proved to be rational, correct and achieved a positive result) are pretty feeble; they're the ones who allow bullies to thrive by their silence, or fascists or extremists to get into power through their apathy.

Good luck to you, from what I can tell, you are working in a vital sector and we need people like you who actually give a sshhit.

Oh, and Madam "Personnel doesn't exist anymore" and "HR is a business strategic partner"? Puhlease. You hire, pay and dismiss people. Get over yourself.

Abouttoblow · 05/10/2017 23:51

Thanks to all for the positive responses.

I have never been out to get anyone or get people fired.

I just feel really strongly that if you are working (parent or not) you have an obligation to your employer and, in certain sectors) the people who rely on you. Not professing to be a saint. I'm far from perfect.
Although this all sounds very positive, this is not the end of it. She will not let it go.

OP posts:
Timefortea99 · 06/10/2017 07:26

Oh, and Madam "Personnel doesn't exist anymore" and "HR is a business strategic partner"? Puhlease. You hire, pay and dismiss people. Get over yourself.

Grin
heebiejeebie · 06/10/2017 07:54

If you have any sort of pride in the organisation that you work for then of course someone skiving off affects you directly. I presume a lot of the posters accusing you of busyboddery are not working in a job that they find rewarding.

heebiejeebie · 06/10/2017 07:57

Might she be talking about doing 18 hours work over 3 days instead of 2? Which would give her more free hours in the day to bunk off. You could suggest she does 18 hours over 5 days and then she could really throw herself into leaving the building as often as possible.

PurpleStarInCashmereSky · 06/10/2017 08:16

So glad to see how it has all worked out. One bloke on my last team got sacked for (amoung other things) abusing his flexi. He used to 'work' long hours but just sleep at his desk! Thankfully he was still in probation so easy to get rid of.

CoraPirbright · 06/10/2017 09:58

Do keep us posted OP - I have a feeling that this isnt the end of it! I am rather confused and interested to know if she is genuinely so obtuse as to think she should be paid for her personal errands or is she just horribly entitled. Cant quite decide from what you have said!!

Ambonsai · 06/10/2017 10:35

How old is she? Sorry if that's already been answered

Is she a bit thick skinned about other things?

Rachel0Greep · 06/10/2017 10:43

We once had a senior member of staff who thought he did compressed hours (ie36 hrs) in 4 days by doing 10-4 Monday to Thursday.

I can't figure that, it's nowhere near 36 hours?

OP, I worked with similar...I won't even start because nobody would believe what she got away with. She is still the same, but I only worked with her for about a year, and am long gone from that team - thankfully.

Abouttoblow · 06/10/2017 11:46

Ambonsai she's in her 30's and yes, she is very thick skinned and will dig her heels in if it's something that she sees as disadvantaging her - which is rarely the case

OP posts:
BlueSapp · 06/10/2017 11:54

TBF it really isn't your job and if I was your empolyer I probably think, why are you spending your time tracking this woman and not getting on with your own job.

Youcanstayundermyumbrella · 06/10/2017 12:31

She's not American by any faint chance? In the States they give more latitude for stuff like this in some places to make up for having so little annual leave.

I sympathise, OP, and YANBU. I manage a large team, and we operate a manual flexi system via timesheets. We are also encouraging more flexible working including working from home. As a 'senior leader' I am also involved in work to move things to a more outcome-based basis, to move performance management to what people produce and how rather than spending lots of time on monitoring timekeeping.

Having said all this, I currently have a guy in my team who is taking the piss. I've had my suspicions for a while but events over the summer and then a change in working practices have made it obvious. The effect on his colleague's morale was pretty swift: I currently have two dedicated staff trying to work against doctors' notes (I've had to call in OHWS to stop it) and struggling to take leave for example, so to be working alongside this chancer is unacceptable. As soon as we had proof, it was raised with him, and he has been given an improvement plan which if not met will lead to formal performance management. I couldn't have just ignored him for the sake of everyone. When part time people do this, they make the lives of other part-timers, who are already on the end of all sorts of crap often, even worse.

Abouttoblow · 06/10/2017 13:20

Exactly Umbrella
The majority of our staff work part-time due to the fact they have children. They have to organise childcare and personal obligations outside of workings hours, or use flexi therefore FTCT should too. It's understandable that they get demoralised when they see her leaving whenever she likes and not accounting for the time she takes. She not American though Smile

Blue You're absolutely right, it's not my job. That's why I asked for Personnel to come and lay out the rules for everyone.
I get on with my job perfectly well. We all work in an open plan office. No need to "track" anyone. As long as your eyes are open you see her walk through the door, clock on, walk back out, go to Costa and get breakfast, come back and eat/drink it and then start working. Maybe half an hour after she's clocked on. One example of many piss takes

OP posts:
YetAnotherNC2017 · 06/10/2017 15:00

OP I get that you’re not out to get her fired.

But seriously, by not sending her emails to HR, or relating the conversations you’ve had, you’re actually allowing her to continue to get away with it. You’re being way too nice!

At my workplace you’d get a bollocking for rocking up five minutes late on a regular basis and rightly so, when everyone else is in half an hour early so they have time for coffee or breakfast or whatever before they actually start work.

She’s committing gross misconduct and I’m amazed nobody is reporting her for it! I’ve sacked for less significant flexi time keeping offences in the past and she deserves to be out on her ear...