Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make an official complaint about colleague?

792 replies

Abouttoblow · 03/09/2017 15:12

I'm really don't want to go to work tomorrow as I've had enough of selfish workmate.
I really love my work. I've been in this job for 10 years, find it fulfilling, great terms and conditions but if things carry on I will go mad.
Colleague had twins 5 years ago and returned to work 2 days a week. Since she had her DC she seems to think that they take priority over her job - even when she is at work. Her DM and SIL take care of them so I would assume they are reliable and trustworthy but she rings them every half hour to check on things. Every half hour WITHOUT FAIL. She will even excuse herself from meetings.
My main issue though is that every appointment she has, doctor, dentist etc she arranges on the days she is at work. We have flexible working to accommodate for this, more so for full time staff who work every day, so we take shorter breaks or start early/finish late to make up the time but she doesn't bother. She just goes off for an hour or so at a time and that's it. This has been going on for years and I've spoken to my boss but nothing is ever addressed with her.
Anyway, her DC start school soon and she came in last week with a list of things she just MUST attend at school - prize givings, parents in-school days, assemblies and I know if they're on either of her 2 working days she will just go.
She won't have holiday leave to cover this as she is off for most of the summer and I'm sure she will want half term etc now too.
I've just had enough and it makes me so angry that she thinks this is acceptable.
AIBU to make an official complaint to Personnel?

OP posts:
Original poster
Abouttoblow · 10/09/2017 21:51

Nope. Nothing like my situation at all Imnot

OP posts:
rightnowimpissed · 10/09/2017 22:06

The point is op you actually don't know the situation form this woman's point of veiw. So you are making a whole host of assumptions without any concrete facts.

Don't be so naive that every situation is as it seems to on lookers

paq · 10/09/2017 22:19

I know it's infuriating but honestly you need to learn to let it go. You won't change her. She's a Cheeky Fucker and unless you are her manager you can't do anything about it.

But do rant on here Smile

Original poster
Abouttoblow · 10/09/2017 22:33

I'm really tired now. I would never have started this thread without knowing the facts. I can't share here as they are really specific.
Whether anyone believes me or not this is the last time I will outline these.
We work closely together, she states regularly that she is "only paid for 16 hours", she feels she should not give up time with her DC on non-working days when she can do all her personal stuff on her working days. I wouldn't do that but if she needs to that's what Flexi is for - to an extent if you make up the time - she does not and has no intention of doing so.
Call me a busy body, call me jealous, whatever. If im paid for 40 hours and i deliver 40 hours and she is paid for 16 hours and delivers 10 that's an issue.
I really give up.

OP posts:
rightnowimpissed · 10/09/2017 23:12

What she says and the truth can be two completely different things. I'd never divulge that I'd had money deducted from my wages to others in the office.

Original poster
Abouttoblow · 10/09/2017 23:15

I give up. Not sure how to go about it but will ask for this thread to be deleted

OP posts:
Original poster
Abouttoblow · 10/09/2017 23:38

I never wanted to say this but please remember this thread when you read a newspaper or watch a news report about a child being let down and failed.
Remember this. Remember that an employee's rights trump everything

OP posts:
wildthoughtz · 10/09/2017 23:46

Such a shame you're getting a hard time about this op, I completely get where you're coming and understand your frustration! Some people don't have childcare issues or MH issues or any kind of issue, they simply like taking the piss and the fact that they have got away with it for so long prob makes them think they are able to get away with it forever!
As I've mentioned previously, I work with a piss taker who constantly has childcare issues, dental or doctors appts, fake meetings in his diary and at the beginning everyone did wonder if there was actually something else going on.. turns out he runs a second business from home so uses his time when he's meant to be at Job 1 to work on Job 2! Aaargh!

I have had to resign myself though to the fact that it's never gonna be picked up by management and my colleague who keeps mentioning his 'disappearances' is now being seen as a grass and a troublemaker. So I've decided to keep my mouth shut and just let him get in with it and hope he screws himself over with his lies one day!

Horsemad · 11/09/2017 06:47

wildrhoughtz, have you considered backing up your colleague who keeps pointing out the piss taker's failings?

wildthoughtz · 11/09/2017 07:37

In a team of 20 of us, of course I have! As have is at least say maybe 5, 6 others. But this has been going on for 5 years now, we've had to cope with it for just over 18 months, older members of the team have had the whole 5 years and also resigned themselves to the fact that nothing will be done. My colleague is driving herself crazy over it and every little thing about him bothers her, yet management, who sit in the same room as us all, literally bury their head in the sand and everything colleague says gets ignored or acknowledged but then nothing is done. I'd rather have nothing to do with him but still keep my sanity at work.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 13/09/2017 04:03

I'm reading between the lines here... I suspect you're working in soc services /family team?... And it's too identifying for you to mention. So as a direct result of this woman's lack of work vulnerable people /children may be out in danger?

I've read the whole thread... It is absolutely wrong how much this woman is swinging the lead and it is infuriating for her coworkers.. .... BUT you won't and can't know {presumably) that seniors aren't already performance managing/investigating her?

I think you need to tread carefully to avoid falling into the rabbit holes - essentially how some people have responded here. (eg jealousy, busybody, dont know full facts etx etc), however 'correct' your facts are...

I think the idea of getting HR to come and do a meeting outlining employees' obligations under flexitime is a good one ... Ideally if they could flag up that theu are now starting a random check on people...?? (whether they intend to or not??)

Would it stop this woman if she knew, at any point, hr could drop in and check that clocking in status of everyone...? This worked when I temped in tje city and clocking in/off was widely abused... It did stop the causal piss takers...

MumsGoneToIceland · 13/09/2017 04:56

OP, I haven't read the whole thread but it certainly does seem that this colleague is very entitled and the company are allowing her to take advantage. There is so much legislation now about workers rights that I think companies let a lot of this stuff go as are worried about being sued for discrimination etc. That doesn't make it fair on you but it does make it harder for you to make a formal complaint and for it to be acted on.

I speak as a working mum of 2 who is now part-time and do request time off/flexibility on my working days for school events BUT I always make up my hours. Appointments can be hard with little ones but if she has local help (e.g Parents) that should mean she should be able to get help on non working days and now the children are at school there should be no reason why most appointments shouldn't be on non-working days. Re school events, I would be expecting if she comes in late, she either makes up the hours either by staying late or does extra hours on another day during school hours to make up for it.

Given where you are and her circumstances are changing, I think you need to see how things go with the new situation. I would log all these incidents from now for the next couple of months so you have evidence. I would also speak to someone independently first (such as acas) for advice before taking if further.

I understand your frustrations.

ceecee32 · 13/09/2017 05:38

I work in the public sector. Abuse of Flexi is a dismissable offence. You must have an internal fraud contact to report this

NewPapaGuinea · 13/09/2017 06:02

It is absolutely your business, despite what other people are saying, if it's affecting morale and focus in the work place. Time is valuable so having someone steal the odd hour here and there will leave a bad taste in the mouth.

Medeci · 13/09/2017 08:35

I give up. Not sure how to go about it but will ask for this thread to be deleted

Pointless to try to delete the thread OP. Just hide it and think no more about it.
I'm interested to read people's comments as have been in a similar situation.

TallulahWinks · 14/09/2017 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jux · 14/09/2017 22:49

I hope the meeting on Monday makes it very clear to everyone what the Flexi-rules are. Did someone upthread say that abuse of the system is a dismissable offence? I think you should ask pointedly who you report abuses to and what happens when they investigate. Just to be sure.

It's not so much that I think she should be sacked, but maybe it will spur her to working the hours she's contracted for, which is the best result.

Abouttoblow · 14/09/2017 23:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ceecee32 · 15/09/2017 06:34

Yes, yes - ask who to report abuse of Flexi to and what the consequences are

Jenala · 15/09/2017 08:05

about are you admin/business support/duty in a children's services team? Only way I can think you can possibly know for sure what she's being paid etc and also be around in the office enough to see what time she is and isn't there.

Is there a culture that they should work all hours and she has perhaps swung too far the other way in an attempt to avoid this? I left CS for precisely this reason. You were expected to work your hours and not take your lunch break... plus get in an hour early and leave a couple of hours late. Anyone who didn't was seem as a slacker even if core hours were worked. I wonder if she had years of that, had her kids and sort of feels justified now to take the piss. She might have hundreds of hours TOIL added up in her head. Not saying that makes it ok at all but she sounds burnt out to me if she doesn't give a crap.

I may be barking up the wrong tree entirely

Original poster
Abouttoblow · 15/09/2017 16:37

Hi Jenala Workplace is something like that but not admin/support. Trying hard to not be specific but role is direct contact with "service users" in an office base not in the community. No expectation of working extra hours or not taking breaks. Some staff do but definitely through choice.
On a day without personal appointments she will come in at 9.00, have coffee/breakfast, tea break mid morning, hour lunch which normally runs into an hour and 10/15 minutes, coat on and packed up to leave 10 minutes before finishing time, as well as all the phone calls home throughout the day.
Work and what's required of her definitely has to fit around her rather than the other way around.
I know I'm going to probably get slated again for knowing her every movement but you can't help it when it happens every day she works.
With the above routine, without leaving for personal appointments, she should be owing flexi time back.
Let's hope Monday's meeting will help although I'm not optimistic.
Jux That's what I hope - that she will just work the hours she's paid for. I have no desire to see anyone fired.

OP posts:
Original poster
Abouttoblow · 19/09/2017 01:32

Personnel came along today. I can't even put into words what happened. Thank goodness I'm on holiday now for a fortnight.

OP posts:
over40andpregnant · 19/09/2017 01:57

So are you going to tell us ..

FixItUpChappie · 19/09/2017 03:17

Well...that's a cliffhanger (taps table impatiently)

SouthWindsWesterly · 19/09/2017 03:31

It does sound like it was a dramatic meeting...