Partner and 'day naps'

[GatheredAsMuch]

My partner's job requires a lot of walking and I understand that that can be tiring. But it's really starting to annoy me that he comes home and just sleeps everyday.

He finishes around 2 o'clock and will normally sleep for about 2 hours after getting home.

We have 2 toddlers and their not easy work and sometimes I feel resentful that he's asleep while I'm rushing around after kids.

I go to sleep early as the kids are early risers. But he will stay up past midnight playing on his phone. And a part of me feels that if he just went to sleep a little bit earlier then he wouldn't need the extra sleep in the day.

He says I'm unfair because I'm just in with the kids all day and not walking around for hours. I don't know if IABU or not but am prepared to be told I am.

What are his working hours?

What time does he start work at? And hor much walking does he do?!

After his nap take yourself off out for 2 hours without the dc for a break also. Every day for a week. .
Bet he drops the bloody naps.

YANBU
What Boatmistress said.

Sorry he starts at half 8, but will be walking from around 10 til half 1

Go out when he gets home, and leave the DC's with him?

If he's a postman then I understand why he's tired! Don't they start early too?

He's taking the piss!!

That is certainly nowhere near a hugely physical job - just walking?!

Tell him to go to bed earlier and that no, you're no longer taking on extra childcare to cover his time.

Maybe an hour nap then you could have an hour break?

It is only two and a half hours walking...when I was a gardener I would not 10,000 steps by 11am...never had any naps in the afternoon.

With two toddlers I can't imagine you're doing much less walking around than he is. 3 hours isn't such a lot of time to be walking, especially if this is regular for him. Is he quite unfit?

Yanbu. It would annoy me too. Not sure what you can do about it though.

Plenty of people are on their feet for lomger than this. He's tired because he's up half the night gaming (or whatever else he does on his phone)
and he naps because it's your job to look after the children.
Fine, nap when you get in from 6 measley hours at a not very demanding job, but it sounds to me like you're not getting any respite and he's taking the piss.

Tbf then op if he gets in at 2 and sleeps for 2 hours it's similar hours to full time isn't it? Less even.

That's a lot of walking. I doubt more sleep at night would make any difference as the slump probably hits after the walking (I used to have a similar physical role where I'd be on my feet rushing about from 9-6, more sleep didn't ever help the sheer tiredness at the end of the day).

Does he do his share around the home and with the kids when he wakes up? If he does then I do think yabu but if hes lazy even after a nap then I do think you would bu to have a word and tell him he needs to kick in more after his naps.

My OH does this too! His job involves a lot of walking, but he's been doing it for seven years, he should be used to it now (it's not a ridiculous amount, just time on his feet). He falls asleep in his chair in front of the TV, he gets up, has breakfast and falls asleep, he will get up, walk the dog and then go back to bed and sleep (not on working days, obvs). It's like being with an old man!

My job has me on my feet for 7/8 hours and I have NEVER had to go home and nap - I just go to bed at a reasonable time and sleep then.

Tell him it makes him look like an elderly man, having to have naps all the time. See if that works, OP.

Start having a nap, after his nap. See what he says then.

So he only works part time? But is walking for 10 miles a day?

Boatmistress has nailed it. Do that.

He doesn't know he's born! I work ten hour days and I'm on my feet running about like a blue arsed fly for all of that.

What time does he get up?

Ooh is he a postie? I am and I come home and sleep too! So does my partner who is also a postie, it's a very tiring job!!

Tbh though, OP, any man who says that you are 'just' anything is a dick. He's belittling what you do.

My SIL is a chef and her job is very physical. She beats us all in her Fitbit stats every week but I come second with the school walk and the toddler and newborn. I bet you aren't far off him in terms of exertion. YANBU.

Im part time too, work 4-5 hrs but cover 10-12 miles plus. It looks like an easy job but it actually isn't!

I'm not seeing how having a 2 hour nap after a six hour working day is like full time.
It's just walking. Unless he's running up a hill with a fiat 500 on his back he's taking the piss
When I worked in hospitals most of the staff were on their feet for at least six hours per shift, no mother I ever worked with went home for an afternoon nap.