Partner and 'day naps'

[GatheredAsMuch]

My partner's job requires a lot of walking and I understand that that can be tiring. But it's really starting to annoy me that he comes home and just sleeps everyday.

He finishes around 2 o'clock and will normally sleep for about 2 hours after getting home.

We have 2 toddlers and their not easy work and sometimes I feel resentful that he's asleep while I'm rushing around after kids.

I go to sleep early as the kids are early risers. But he will stay up past midnight playing on his phone. And a part of me feels that if he just went to sleep a little bit earlier then he wouldn't need the extra sleep in the day.

He says I'm unfair because I'm just in with the kids all day and not walking around for hours. I don't know if IABU or not but am prepared to be told I am.

Excellent typo notso 😂

What do you mean, he wouldn't like it if you took a two hour break?
You don't like him doing it but he still does it.

You should be working as a team, he should see your work in the home or out as valuable as his work. You should both get down time, that could be naps, reading, out for coffee with friends etc.

You need to talk!

I don't think he'd be happy with me leaving and going out for a couple hours even if there was time.

Well, he's not supposed to be happy with it; that's the point of doing it: to impress on him that you need time to yourself too and that he needs to step up to being a parent.

He is taking the piss. It's obvious just from: he strangely doesn't need the nap when the kids are out.

Clearly this schedule, whether necessary or not, isn't working for you. Have you had a real discussion about it? If he's tired, he can go to bed early with you. If not, he can go to a GP. If he insists on the nap, then you can agree to switch off: he naps for two hours, you nap/play for two hours. Whatever the solution, you need to be on the same page.

You're doing way more work than him, OP.

His comment that you're 'just' home with the kids is not on. Clearly it's not so easy when he's trying so hard to avoid it.

2 hours is not a 'nap' and I agree that is probably why he doesn't sleep until late at night- he has overslept during the day!

If I was you I'd claim a one hour break while he is cooking dinner. He can 'just' watch the kids while 'just' being at home with them, since it's so easy.

He's being lazy. Especially having the nap at the weekend still so it can't be work.
Call him out of it and if he do desperately need sit the your worried about his health and maybe he should see a doctor about it. He'll probably try and backtrack around it.
Or tell him if you've got it easy 'just' having the kids then he can do it on Sunday. Leave him to do everything you do and then talk about it at the end of the day. He needs to understand how much you do.

Or my last idea would be to ask him to agree to come to bed early for a week to see if it helps. Agree that if it doesn't help you won't push it anymore.