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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so annoyed my child's phone was taken off him at a sleepover?

557 replies

minnieproblems · 02/09/2017 18:12

DS stayed over with a friend last night. There were four there in total. He has a phone so he can text/call us if he needs to. Before going to bed, phones and tablets were removed from the visiting children.

AIBU to be a bit annoyed? He finds it quite stressful staying over and he hated being unable to contact us.

OP posts:
Valuedopinion · 02/09/2017 20:13

I think the point is that the OP would have liked to be told, the rules weren't ignored as the boy had his phone removed.

Pengggwn · 02/09/2017 20:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DragonsandDungeons · 02/09/2017 20:13

Is everyone afraid their sons are secret porn connoisseurs? Hmm

StarUtopia · 02/09/2017 20:14

Dont send him on sleepovers unless a) You know the parents well and trust them implicitly and b) See A.

No child needs a phone on a sleepover. Frankly it's somewhat rude.

GriswaldFamilyVacation · 02/09/2017 20:14

Does valued actually check constantly on children sleeping over at her home? Confused How does that work?

Marmenteum · 02/09/2017 20:14

Not necessarily, but at least two people on this thread have said that sometimes kids gang up together and can send mean messages to other kids. It happens a lot.

Valuedopinion · 02/09/2017 20:15

Pengggwn, I wouldn't expect them to, are you reading a different thread to me?

I am saying that the host should say that all phones will be removed whether permission given or not.

The guest can then decide whether they feel they can stay without the reassurance of a phone or not.

GriswaldFamilyVacation · 02/09/2017 20:15

everyone afraid their sons are secret porn connoisseurs?

Read the statistics on porn use by boys. Your son may not be but one (at least) of his friend is

Valuedopinion · 02/09/2017 20:16

GriswaldFamilyVacation, absolutely, yes I do.

It was more of a response to the perfect parent brigade giving themselves lots of praise though, tongue in cheek.

ArcheryAnnie · 02/09/2017 20:16

It wouldn't occur to me that someone would throw their parenting weight around like that, but clearly it does happen.

I very much hope that when my DS is at one of his friends' houses, their parents do "throw their parenting weight around", Valued. I actively want my child to be supervised when away by someone doing their best to be a responsible parent, and I am boggled that anyone would not.

Valuedopinion · 02/09/2017 20:17

ArcheryAnnie I am somewhat boggled at your lack of understanding.

Valuedopinion · 02/09/2017 20:17

I mean some parents think that smacking is good parenting..

ArcheryAnnie · 02/09/2017 20:18

Likewise, Valued, likewise.

Valuedopinion · 02/09/2017 20:18

ArcheryAnnie doesn't sound like much supervision goes on in your circles if you are worried about porn bring access by nine year olds. Terrible parenting.

Marmenteum · 02/09/2017 20:18

valued you are sounding more and more chippy.

ArcheryAnnie · 02/09/2017 20:19

But the NSPCC doesn't recommend smacking, does it, Valued? But they do recommend care in use of smartphones by small children.

Do you have many friends who smack their children?

Pengggwn · 02/09/2017 20:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JudgeRulesNutterButter · 02/09/2017 20:20

Valued do you really not see the potential for bullying to be a million times worse when combined with internet access?

ArcheryAnnie · 02/09/2017 20:20

Where have I mentioned porn, Valued?

Alpacaandgo · 02/09/2017 20:21

If your child is so anxious they need to sleep with their phone then they shouldn't be on a sleepover. And to be quite frank they don't sound ready to own a phone either.

All devices are removed at night in my house, which is the NORMAL thing to do with children. This includes my teenagers. It's non negotiable. If other children visit with phones, theirs stays downstairs too with understanding if they need to call their parents at 2am they come to me first. If parents think this is not acceptable their kid doesn't stay. Nor will my child be staying at their house because I don't want my 11 year old accessing god knows what or talking to god knows who on the internet at midnight.

Valuedopinion · 02/09/2017 20:22

Marmenteum not chippy at all, I (and a few others) don't agree with you that's all.

If you can't see that not all children are the same and that house rules are not universal and that you are not such brilliant parents that you can't take that on board, what can I do?

Valuedopinion · 02/09/2017 20:23

Archery this obsession with the NSPCC is weird, is it your go to for parenting advice?

AlexanderHamilton · 02/09/2017 20:23

I have two children with social anxiety, autistic spectrum disorders & various other issues.

Both have been the victims of cyber bullying.

I would absolutely expect phones not to be allowed in a bedroom during sleepovers & I would not allow them myself.

ArcheryAnnie · 02/09/2017 20:24

...although, Valued I probably should have mentioned porn. Children can be exposed to it by others, and not worrying about it is not a solution. When things threaten our kids, pretending they don't exist, and not taking any action to limit the harm, does not magically make the problem go away.

I have a teenage DS. He has a lot of computer time, for school and for leisure. He works on his laptop in the living room. This is not an accident.

Valuedopinion · 02/09/2017 20:24

Do you have many friends who smack their children?

No, do you?