Should I confront work mate over £50 ticket?

[Oidog]

Work mate booked tickets to a festival for us last month and I transferred over money to cover cost of ticket and half of postage/ packaging fee totalling £51. I caught sick big earlier in the week and messaged her to say I probably won't make it but if she knows someone who wants the ticket then great, let me know.

Next day she contacts me saying her skint mate is going with her. Has enough money for travel and drinks on the day but can't offer anything for ticket. She assumed that was ok with me and hoped I felt better soon.

I replied saying I'm skint too and that if she couldn't sell it on then I'd sell it to someone or my husband would go in my place. Apologised if she got wrong end of the stick and that I was hoping to sell it on, not give it away to a stranger for free.

She replied saying I should be greatful she found someone last minute to take the ticket and that it wouldn't be wasted now. She said tell me your bank details now and she'd give me £20 for it. It was very abrupt and I didn't want to sell it for£20. DH said he would rather go than waste £30 for nothing. I agreed as if I felt better I could still go.

I asked for the ticket back, or full payment for it. Haven't heard from her since. She's reading her WhatsApp messages but ignoring me. Gig gates opened a few hours ago. I have no ticket or money back!!

WIBU to ask her for the money in full at work next week? Should I wait and see if she offers me anything for it (the £20 I declined) I understand that selling gig tickets close to the day is tough and unlikely to get full price for it but I'm genuinely pissed off that she's blanked me an ignoring me. She's got £50 of my money and has refused to hand over my ticket so DH or I can go.

I hate arguing or any kind of conflict but she gave my ticket away for free without checking with me and has ignored my requests for it back/ payment. WIBU to confront her at work next week?

I think YAB(a little bit)U - your message to her was a bit woolly and it sounds like you left it up to her to find a replacement. Trying to find a friend who is free at short notice to avoid going alone would most likely result in a freebie. I know I've done this.

If you'd wanted to sell or have your husband go instead, you should have said that clearly up front.

I'd take the £20 and draw a line under it.

Hmm - I'm on the fence. On the face of it you seem to be in the right but I do feel for the work mate. Was it just the two of you going together? If so, her night out with a friend has turned into an outing with someone she doesn't know (your DH or a stranger) But yes, it is your money and your ticket so you are probably not being unreasonable

(Removes splinters from bum!)

If it was just the 2 of you going I don't think it's fair to expect her to attend with some random that you manage to sell the ticket to or your DH.

Your original message wasn't clear that you wanted money for the ticket but you were perfectly clear after that so she should respect your wishes and pay you back. However, I don't think she will. She's there with her mate now so nothing you can do about it. I don't foresee a continued friendship tbh as it's bloody rude of her to 1. not respect your wishes and then 2. ignore you.
Hope you're feeling better.

While I can kind of see your point, YABU.

Unless you specifically told her that you wanted her to sell your ticket on your behalf (for which you really should have offered her some form of 'commission') then she was right to assume you were giving it away free.

The fact that your DH would have taken it does change things a bit, but it sounds like you weren't clear about this so again, YABU.

I'd honestly say nothing at work. Your are nowhere near far enough in the right to kick up a fuss about this in a professional environment.

Also I'd feel a bit guilty that I'd let her down at short notice (even though it can't be helped) and be relieved she'd found someone else to go along with.

just hope to accept £20 from her skint friend

I think where she is being unreasonable is the part where you asked for the ticket back as your husband would like to take your place, and she ignored you. It's your ticket, you should be able to do what you want with it.

It depends, was it just the two of you going?

Oh, so it would have been just the two of you? That makes you even more in the wrong.

PP is completely right, why would she want to have to go with a random, or your DH just because you were unfortunate enough to be ill?

Was it just the two of you going together, as friends? If so, you should have taken the £20 offer from her and YABU. Hardly fair to ruin her festival by making her attend with a random (to her) person.

If she was going with a big group then YANBU.

Thanks for the replies, looks like there has been mixed messages between both of us. Won't bring it up at work but will message her later to sort it out.

So was it just the two of you going???

Is WhatsApp the only way to contact her? I think you've left it a bit late to sort this now OP, why couldn't you talk to her/ ring her yesterday?

Your DH is ok with going to events with your random colleagues is he?

So it was just the 2 of you? Does this festival involve an overnight stay too?

Actually I don't think you're unreasonable at all. The first message may have been a bit vague but once you clearly said that you either wanted the ticket back (so your husband could go) or the cash then she was being totally unreasonable.

I would even go so far as it could be argued she has stolen the ticket as she has dishonestly appropriated property (the ticket) belonging to another person (OP) with the intention of permanently depriving the other (OP) of it. OP the ticket is yours, you have paid for it.

The first message may have been open to interpretation and a genuine mistake but once you were clear what you wanted doing with the ticket there she was more than unreasonable to do what she did.

And no I'm not advising to call the Police just pointing out how this situation could be construed.

Its hardly enough notice to get someone to give you the full cost of the ticket not to meantion you didn't ask her to sell it on you said to find someone else to go with. If you wanted your dh you should informed your friend when you told her you weren't available. I wouldn't want to be attending an festival with a stranger either. I thought she was reasonable to offer the 20pounds.

Your message was far too ambiguous. You'd already paid for the ticket, you're not 'out of pocket' any more than you would have been if you weren't ill. You're just not going.
I do also think she is unreasonable to ignore you.

Not sure why it's the OP's responsibility to ensure her mate has a suitable companion for the gig/festival.

I'd be pissed off too at losing £50 - I can't afford to throw that sort of money away.

When my friend wasn't able to come to a gig with me because she was ill, I sold her ticket online aprox 5 hours before the gig was due to start. I could have sold it for way above face value but just wanted the money back.

If the friend wanted a mate to go with her she should have found one who was willing to pay, not cash in on someone else's misfortune.

Yabu , you should have sold the ticket yourself if you were that bothered.

If it was just the two of you going then I'd think it was quite mean to expect her to go alone (not everyone likes to attend something like this by themselves) or with some random stranger.

Otherwise you should have been clearer when you suggested she find someone else. The thing is your money was already spent whether you attended or not. I wouldn't place getting some of it back or some notion about still getting value for that money ahead of a friendship. After all if your DH had wanted to go wouldn't he have got a ticket in the first place?

It wasn't her ticket to give away, it was yours, so she should have asked you what you wanted to do. She should at least have made sure the friend she's taking, paid for the ticket, so that you could be reimbursed. £50 would be a lot of money to lose for me.

Yabu I think.
You put the monkey onto her shoulder re disposal of your ticket by asking her if she knew anyone. She dealt with the monkey and then you said you didn't like the way she dealt with it. You should have dealt with it yourself if you wanted close to £50. You should have been happy with £20 imo. I doubt she will want to go anywhere with you in future as you have been tricky to deal with - seeing it only from your POV. You didn't consider the hassle to her of finding someone and you didn't consider that by sending your dh or a random that you would be ruining her experience as well as your own.

'Not sure why it's the OP's responsibility to ensure her mate has a suitable companion'

Because friendship, and her friend's comfort (and potentially her safety if it's an overnight event) should be more important than the £30 OP stands to lose.

Why all this talk of "losing" the £50. It was already spent and you would not have seen it again had you attended would you. It was spent. It's not lost.