Should I confront work mate over £50 ticket?

[Oidog]

Work mate booked tickets to a festival for us last month and I transferred over money to cover cost of ticket and half of postage/ packaging fee totalling £51. I caught sick big earlier in the week and messaged her to say I probably won't make it but if she knows someone who wants the ticket then great, let me know.

Next day she contacts me saying her skint mate is going with her. Has enough money for travel and drinks on the day but can't offer anything for ticket. She assumed that was ok with me and hoped I felt better soon.

I replied saying I'm skint too and that if she couldn't sell it on then I'd sell it to someone or my husband would go in my place. Apologised if she got wrong end of the stick and that I was hoping to sell it on, not give it away to a stranger for free.

She replied saying I should be greatful she found someone last minute to take the ticket and that it wouldn't be wasted now. She said tell me your bank details now and she'd give me £20 for it. It was very abrupt and I didn't want to sell it for£20. DH said he would rather go than waste £30 for nothing. I agreed as if I felt better I could still go.

I asked for the ticket back, or full payment for it. Haven't heard from her since. She's reading her WhatsApp messages but ignoring me. Gig gates opened a few hours ago. I have no ticket or money back!!

WIBU to ask her for the money in full at work next week? Should I wait and see if she offers me anything for it (the £20 I declined) I understand that selling gig tickets close to the day is tough and unlikely to get full price for it but I'm genuinely pissed off that she's blanked me an ignoring me. She's got £50 of my money and has refused to hand over my ticket so DH or I can go.

I hate arguing or any kind of conflict but she gave my ticket away for free without checking with me and has ignored my requests for it back/ payment. WIBU to confront her at work next week?

I don't think you are BU at all!! It's your ticket. You paid for it, you get to decide what happens to it. If you wanted it back she should have given it to you. She doesn't get to decide that you can have £20 for it. No way. She owes you £50.

I've used the words 'work mate' not friend! Unsure if it was just the two of us or if other work mates got tickets. Not an overnight thing, and she lives very local to the event.

I gave her the option to find someone to sell it to first in case she had someone else in mind to sell it to or go with. At no point was I passing the monkey onto her shoulder.

I was never expecting full price for it until she openly ignored me when I said I'd like the ticket back and she withheld it from me.

The first message may have been open to interpretation and a genuine mistake but once you were clear what you wanted doing with the ticket there she was more than unreasonable to do what she did.

But at that point she had already offered the ticket to her friend. The deal was done - it just wasn't what the op later wanted.

£20 was a reasonable compromise.

if she is at the event now perhaps she sold it outside? or was hoping to sell it outside the venue? no signal?

i dont see she has to give you £50 though, unless she sold it for you for full price

You asked your friend to find a companion to go with, and she did. I think it was a bit off to then ask for the ticket back. You should have accepted the £20. If I had tickets to a concert and couldn't go, I would always accept a reduced price for it.

Also, would your friend want to go by herself if your husband had the ticket.

The thing is that your friend wouldn't have been going with a total stranger. She's have been left on her own. Who buys a single ticket usually? Someone who has a group of mates or knows someone else already going and wants to join them. So the person you sold the ticket to would have had their own group to go off with, leaving your poor mate on her own.

I was in this exact situation last year and I took half the face value and let my friend find someone to go with herself because who wants to go to a festival alone

You're not sure if it was just the two of you, really? Seems like the sort of thing that might come up in general conversation about the event or was this a very formal "do you wish to attend X with me"? "yes please, here's my money" no further mention?

Arranging to do something socially with a work mate generally suggests friendship or at least that the relationship is moving towards being friends. I doubt you'll need to worry about that now though...

Barry, sounds like the two of them are only able to communicate through the means of WhatsApp so not surprising it's all gone so tits up.

your Workmate is a cheap SKANK... tell your workmates what she did.. she stole your money

make sure you get your money back OP

You're a bit U for several reasons:

• You are not 'losing' anything, the money is already spent.

• I would be really cross if I'd booked a ticket to see something with a (work) mate and her husband came instead, who potentially I didn't know

• you've let your friend down so she does have some say in who accompanies her to the festival

• she's offered £20 which seems to be a good compromise

Gemini I can be pretty certain that if this tale were repeated in my work place it's not the Ops work mate we'd be judging! As to calling her a skank what's that about??

I think your friend is being very unreasonable! If the person who wants the ticket cannot afford it then she can't go. Simple as that! I think you should have retrieved the ticket yourself as soon as possible and tried to sell it on or give it to your husband. As it's in her hands though I think she is being a bit mean to just give the ticket to whoever she pleases knowing that you have now lost money or your husband has missed out on the opportunity. Some people are so cheeky! Whether she has offered £20 or not, it's your right to decide whether you want to accept that or not.

your Workmate... is a Skank.. she's ripped you OFF OP... get all of your money back x

"She replied saying I should be greatful she found someone last minute to take the ticket and that it wouldn't be wasted now. "
With no intention to give you any money for your ticket, I cannot see what you would have to be grateful about .

I would wonder whether her friend had paid her in full, and she decided just to keep the money.

YABU to expect her to go on her own or with a randomer if youd originally booked to go together. I think you should have certainly accepted the £20

£50 would be a lot of money to lose for me

It's not lost money. The money is already spent. OP just can't use the ticket. It's different. In the friend's shoes I would have thought OP meant just find somebody who will use the ticket - not somebody willing to pay the £50 for it.
If the friend has already said the other person can have the ticket I can understand it being embarrassing to have to go back on her word. It's a bit of a mess, really.

In OP's friend's shoes I would think OP was being unreasonable at this point.

Cheap Skank

You were going with a "work mate" but didn't know if it was just the two of you??? Really? That's very odd. Anyway you are both wrong, you were leaving her high and dry not knowing if she would be with someone else or not and not really caring, that's very shit

Well she's gone from a cheap skank to a skank, I guess that's an improvement.

so she should have asked you what you wanted to do

Well OP said did friend know someone who wanted the ticket, not somebody who was willing to buy the ticket, and she did. Obviously a misunderstanding, but it's not the friend's fault. It's OP's.

you've let your friend down so she does have some say in who accompanies her to the festival

Umm, OP was sick! She can't help that. She didn't just flake out. And her friend gets a say in who accompanies her if her friend payable for the ticket. Other than that then no, she doesn't get a say in what happens to OPs ticket. If OP has been in physical possession of the ticket would you think it ok for her friend to say "my mates going to take it for £20, hand it over"?

you already lost your money. if your dh hadn't fancied it then what would you have done?

She can't help being sick but if I let a friend down, even without meaning to, my priority would be making sure they didn't miss out. Not recouping money that had already been spent and saddling them with anyone who managed to stump up the full price all night.

Exactly stitch. That saying about knowing the price of everything and the value of nothing comes to mind. Far more important to the Op (and some other posters) to claw back money that had already been spent than to have a moments thought for the work mate.