Should I confront work mate over £50 ticket?

[Oidog]

Work mate booked tickets to a festival for us last month and I transferred over money to cover cost of ticket and half of postage/ packaging fee totalling £51. I caught sick big earlier in the week and messaged her to say I probably won't make it but if she knows someone who wants the ticket then great, let me know.

Next day she contacts me saying her skint mate is going with her. Has enough money for travel and drinks on the day but can't offer anything for ticket. She assumed that was ok with me and hoped I felt better soon.

I replied saying I'm skint too and that if she couldn't sell it on then I'd sell it to someone or my husband would go in my place. Apologised if she got wrong end of the stick and that I was hoping to sell it on, not give it away to a stranger for free.

She replied saying I should be greatful she found someone last minute to take the ticket and that it wouldn't be wasted now. She said tell me your bank details now and she'd give me £20 for it. It was very abrupt and I didn't want to sell it for£20. DH said he would rather go than waste £30 for nothing. I agreed as if I felt better I could still go.

I asked for the ticket back, or full payment for it. Haven't heard from her since. She's reading her WhatsApp messages but ignoring me. Gig gates opened a few hours ago. I have no ticket or money back!!

WIBU to ask her for the money in full at work next week? Should I wait and see if she offers me anything for it (the £20 I declined) I understand that selling gig tickets close to the day is tough and unlikely to get full price for it but I'm genuinely pissed off that she's blanked me an ignoring me. She's got £50 of my money and has refused to hand over my ticket so DH or I can go.

I hate arguing or any kind of conflict but she gave my ticket away for free without checking with me and has ignored my requests for it back/ payment. WIBU to confront her at work next week?

Agree communication wasn't clear. However, the friend should have given it to OP when she then asked for it. She doesn't get to keep hold of it.

"Next day she contacts me saying her skint mate is going with her. Has enough money for travel and drinks on the day but can't offer anything for ticket. She assumed that was ok with me and hoped I felt better soon."

This actually sounds like work mate knew there was a question of money being given for the ticket otherwise why explain that skint friend can't offer anything? She wasn't assuming it was being given, she was just assuming OP would be too sheepish to say "actually I would like something for it please" when they tried it on with the "I'm really poor" stunt.

the ticket belonged to the OP.. not the workmate...

she NOW owes you £50 OP x

kity lots of people wouldn't want to go to a festival alone. For lots of us a big part of the enjoyment of an event is the people we're sharing the experience with. You know chatting, laughing, enjoying a drink?

It was very close to the date of the event and through no fault of her own the friend was to either attend on her own or not go? That's really not fair. Yes it wasn't Ops fault she was sick but it wasn't the friends fault either!

OP text her now and tell her you're at the entrance to the venue and as her to come and meet you at the gates with your ticket.

The other option then if you feel aggrieved enough is to report it stolen to the box office and police. She has actually deprived you of the ticket so the offence of theft is complete.

It's how you want to deal with it now that matters.

OP " if she knows someone who wants the ticket then great, let me know."

you should have said, "if you know someone who can buy it from me, that would be a great help, thanks". I understand if you are too unwell to look yourself but you should have been very clear that you wanted someone to buy the ticket off you, not give a freebie. I've missed out before due to last minute illness and it sucks but it's not her fault. You could have suggested your DH in the first place (though frankly I find that a bit weird unless they know each other).

She's got a fucking cheek. I'd confront her. She gave your ticket away and you just paid 50 quid for her pisstaking mate to go.

This actually sounds like work mate knew there was a question of money being given for the ticket otherwise why explain that skint friend can't offer anything?

Good point Backie. Seems like the workmate knew it wasn't intended to be given away free.

I was never expecting full price for it

How much were you expecting to get for it?

Not sure I get this. I thought that, in general, if you book a ticket to go with someone and have to cancel they keep the ticket to invite a friend to go with them. Pretty harsh to have paid for a ticket plus travel (and maybe time off work as well) and go with someone you don't know.

Jay- that's what people I know would do.

DA - glad I'm not alone - I've had free tickets and was wondering if I didnt try hard enough to offer to pay. Although often I wouldn't have got tickets in the first place IYSWIM

How is this unreasonable? The OP was offered less than half the face value, and said no. That was her right. She asked for the ticket back so someone she knew could benefit instead of a stranger. This cheeky fuck ignored her, hung on to the ticket and the money and is planning on giving her own mate a nice cut price night out (at least - possibly planning to split the saving) at OP's expense.

That is not on. At all. Not her money, not her ticket, and she's hung on to both. That's really scummy behaviour.

Your message didn't suggest that you expected money for it.

As she still had a couple of days (so not letting other mate down in the way to the festival!) I think your work mate should have taken it on the chin and told their friend it was off now, because she'd misunderstood.
I wouldn't blame work mate for showing the other person the text to say "look! Sorry I got your hopes up - I didn't realise".

It's childish of her to ignore you, but I can see why it's awkward all round. For all you know she did tell the other person, got serious grief, and (in not knowing who to piss off least) offered you £20 of her own money.

Her AIBU could be: I'm now paying £70 to go to a festival, have pissed off work mate, and discovered other friend is a bitch. I don't even know what to text so now I'm ignoring her which is shit of me!

As you have to work with her, I'd text "I don't want this to be awkward - I wanted to sell the ticket or give it to my husband, but I can see my text wasn't totally clear. It's kind of your friend to give me the £20 so at least I'm only £30 down now. Hope you all have a good time"

Maybe it's just me, but if I have a ticket belonging to someone else and I get a message that I can look for another taker, I tend to assume that it isn't a free gift so I can treat a friend of my own, but an offer for me to find another companion to buy it.

Who the fuck assumes that someone is offering that sort of freebie, unless it's explicitly spelled out that they are? I'd not assume that of a good mate if it wasn't absolutely in black and white, let alone an acquaintance.

I've several times had friends post of Facebook with tickets for things they're pulling out of at quite short notice, saying "friends and friends of friends: be great if I can recoup some money - but if not possible, I'd rather they were used than not"
I did it with 2x £20 pantomime tickets once.

Sure, but that's explicit, and offered to friends. It's your choice. This wasn't explicit, and therefore the reasonable assumption is not that someone is about to gift a total stranger £30.

My general rule of thumb is not to assume other people's money is my own unless they flat out offer.

If OP hadn't bought a ticket then the workmate would have had to go alone or not at all. Seems like the 'group' she supposedly invited didn't want to go with her, or couldn't afford the ticket. I don't see why OP should bankroll someone to go with the workmate. If she'd pulled out for no good reason then the workmate would have my sympathy but the OP was too ill to go.

Some posts saying "if Op was a good friend blah blah". If the workmate was a good friend to OP she'd have immediately sympathised with her illness and disappointment at not going to the festival. She'd have offered to see if she could sell the ticket to a friend if she wanted someone to go with her. Instead she gave the ticket away and is now ignoring the OP's texts, yet the OP is the shit friend here?

Okay

Agree with previous poster, of work mate wasn't expecting to have to pay for it, she wouldn't have mentioned money. She knows she was being cheeky and was hoping to get away with it.

My bet is she's going to tell you she wasn't able to sell the ticket full stop so you won't get any money. Her friend will definitely have gone though.

If friend was truly skint, she should've paid for the ticket and your work mate could've loaned her the travel and drinks money.

Or workmate tried to find someone who would offer OP some money even though she hadn't actually asked for any but nobody was interested. She was just acknowledging that she was sorry the friend she had offered the ticket to wasn't able to offer any money. She's offered the OP £20, probably from her own pocket. She's been put in an awkward and embarrassing position and I feel bad for her.

Her friend will definitely have gone though.

Yep. Check out your friends Fb and Instagram.

She's been put in an awkward and embarrassing position and I feel bad for her.

That narrative works until she was asked for the ticket back and just ignored the OP completely. At that point, she had a ticket she had not paid for and the OP wanted it back. All she had to do was comply. It wasn't hers to hang on to!

Workmate is wrong. It's not their ticket to give away and they had no right to assume it's a freebie for a friend.

Op lesson learnt I'd say! Next time buy the tickets yourself or ask for you physical ticket before the event.
You'd have probably got your money back selling it on.

Id definately be pissed!! Its your ticket you paid for it!! If she wanta to take her friend she should pay for the ticket like you and everyone else has to!! Your well in your right to ask for your £50 back!!