Should I confront work mate over £50 ticket?

[Oidog]

Work mate booked tickets to a festival for us last month and I transferred over money to cover cost of ticket and half of postage/ packaging fee totalling £51. I caught sick big earlier in the week and messaged her to say I probably won't make it but if she knows someone who wants the ticket then great, let me know.

Next day she contacts me saying her skint mate is going with her. Has enough money for travel and drinks on the day but can't offer anything for ticket. She assumed that was ok with me and hoped I felt better soon.

I replied saying I'm skint too and that if she couldn't sell it on then I'd sell it to someone or my husband would go in my place. Apologised if she got wrong end of the stick and that I was hoping to sell it on, not give it away to a stranger for free.

She replied saying I should be greatful she found someone last minute to take the ticket and that it wouldn't be wasted now. She said tell me your bank details now and she'd give me £20 for it. It was very abrupt and I didn't want to sell it for£20. DH said he would rather go than waste £30 for nothing. I agreed as if I felt better I could still go.

I asked for the ticket back, or full payment for it. Haven't heard from her since. She's reading her WhatsApp messages but ignoring me. Gig gates opened a few hours ago. I have no ticket or money back!!

WIBU to ask her for the money in full at work next week? Should I wait and see if she offers me anything for it (the £20 I declined) I understand that selling gig tickets close to the day is tough and unlikely to get full price for it but I'm genuinely pissed off that she's blanked me an ignoring me. She's got £50 of my money and has refused to hand over my ticket so DH or I can go.

I hate arguing or any kind of conflict but she gave my ticket away for free without checking with me and has ignored my requests for it back/ payment. WIBU to confront her at work next week?

you already lost your money. if your dh hadn't fancied it then what would you have done?

Sold it online at a potential profit like I've done in the past

hahahhaaa I loathe people that take money... the girl deserves her money back.. not be paying for someone else's night out... hideous behaviour it's just wrong people x

And what about the friend Tormund? Should she share her evening with the winning online bidder, whoever that may be, when she presumably only bought her ticket because she was going with a mate?

If your friend wanted a say in what happened to the ticket she should have paid you £50 for it then given or sold it for whatever she thought was appropriate to whoever she wanted.

Why should the friend have to pay another £50 after being let down at the last minute? Bloody hell.

you wanted to have your cake and eat it, if the ticket hadn't sold you'd have been screwed. your money was gone.
I think you write it off, and speak to her about the misunderstanding.
It wasn't down on her to find your £50 for you, if the tables had been turned what would you have done?

I can't believe that some people would sell their ticket online and leave a friend to go to a festival alone. If I was going in a group it would be different and I'd sell but if I was going to an event with one friend and I couldn't make it due to illness I'd tell them to take someone else, if they offered me money for the ticket I'd be pleased but I wouldn't expect it. It can be tough to find someone at last minute to go with you to these sorts of things. If I were the friend I'd be upset that you'd leave me to go on my own for the sake of £50 you'd already spent.

Why should the friend have to pay another £50 after being let down at the last minute? Bloody hell.

She doesn't have to. But if she wants to decide where the ticket goes then she has to own the ticket and that means paying for it.

Why should the friend have to pay another £50 after being let down at the last minute?

The OP couldn't exactly help being sick, she didn't 'let down' her workmate through choice.

It also wasn't last minute; it ways in the OP she told her workmate earlier this week she was ill and unlikely to be able to go.

I wonder what the workmate would have done if the roles were reversed? Personally I don't think she would have let her ticket be given away by the OP.

So the friend was let down at the last minute and her options are shell out another £50, or attend alone, or with any random stranger who is willing to pay so the OP can recoup money that has already been spent. That is an utterly horrible way to treat another person, especially one who is supposed to be a mate.

Yabu. You're playing on it a bit aswell- your husband was never going to go otherwise you'd have bypassed telling your friend to find a replacement for you and given the ticket to him in the first place.
You then said you still could have gone if you'd been well enough. But you cancelled on the basis of not being unwell.
Being sick isn't your fault but the truth is, it put your workmate in a tricky situation potentially and she would have also missed out had she not found someone else to go with her.
It's unfortunate that you haven't been able to go, but you wouldn't have been able to get a refund from the retailer because you were unwell so the £20 was a good offer.

I can't believe that some people would sell their ticket online and leave a friend to go to a festival alone.

Probably the same people who post on those "I Have No Friends" threads

Of being unwell*

and her options are shell out another £50, or attend alone,

No. Shell out £50 then either sell it on for however much she feels like asking for it or give it to someone she would like to attend with. As it has happened she has expected OP to give it to someone she doesn't even know. In fact she has probably already taken that person.

Why should the friend be out of pocket? She managed to recoup £20 for the OP which is pretty good at short notice, and it means she gets to attend the festival with someone she is comfortable with. That would make me feel relieved and pleased for my friend if I were the OP. Really struggling with the mindset of those who would prioritise already spent cash, even going so far as to lumber the friend with an online stranger.

Ah look, my opinion of this is probably being skewed by the fact I have (and still do) go to gigs and festivals by myself if nobody else is interested. It's with that or miss out altogether. I've been going solo as well as in groups for about 30 years so it wouldn't be an issue for me.

When my friend was ill and couldn't come to the gig with me I sold her ticket online and went by myself. It was my birthday, it was the band's final tour and no way was I missing it

I appreciate that not everyone has the same mindset though and yes, it's usually better at these things with some company.

Why should the friend be out of pocket?

Like I said, she doesn't have to be. It's an option. If she didn't want to pay for the ticket, which is fine, then she doesn't get to decide what happens to it. It's OPs ticket.

This is where you went wrong op (apart from not keeping hold of your own ticket)

"...and messaged her to say I probably won't make it but if she knows someone who wants the ticket then great, let me know."

That infers to me that you'd be happy for someone else to make use of it rather than it go to waste.

I'd let it go.

even going so far as to lumber the friend with an online stranger.

You do realise that selling a ticket doesn't mean the purchaser has to also adopt the OP's plans?

Whoever buys the ticket just goes along, they don't track down the workmate at the festival site and stick to them like glue.

And just to add. none of my friends would take a free ticket for a festival/concert. They would all insist on paying for it if they wanted to take their friend if I was sick. They're nice people.

I really appreciate everyone's opinion and agree that communication could have been so much clearer between us (yes, sadly we've barely spoken since booking tickets and she said she had invited others to get a group together). I never expected to sell on ticket for full price until I realised that she was actively withholding my ticket from me when I asked for it back. That and the fact that her skint mate can afford to drink today but not offer anything for the ticket. (Workmate offered initial £20)

Indeed lucie whoever bought the ticket wasn't obliged to travel with and stick like glue to OPs friend. It's a festival, go off and stand/drink/socialise with whoever you want!

If she didn't want to pay for the ticket, which is fine, then she doesn't get to decide what happens to it. It's OPs ticket

But OP asked if she knew anyone who wanted it. Not knew anyone who wanted to buy it. And she did. Then OP told her she wanted the ticket or £50 back which is a different story. If I were OP's workmate I'd be really annoyed with OP for putting me in such an embarrassing position.

OP wasn't clear from the beginning so it's not the friend's fault.

I think although you weren't clear at the start, you caught it immediately and corrected it as such the mate should either have given the ticket back or paid for it. It wasn't ok knowing you wanted to sell it, to then keep it.

I also think if she wasn't sure she should have clarified with you, not just assumed. Sounds like she did it because she wanted a mate to go with her and not your husband or some stranger.

No. YANBU... workmate is being a cheeky cow. I hope she gets in touch as soon as she's done at the festival to apologise and give you your money!

Can't believe everyone going on about poor workmate attending alone, it's a festival not a horrible frightening event. She's an adult. She's capable of either going alone and enjoying herself/meeting new mates, or deciding not to go at all and selling her ticket. If a friend was unwell and couldn't make it I'd be concerned about how they were, not expecting them to lose £50 just so that I could get someone to come with me!