To write a tooth fairy letter to my dd10

[throwinshapes]

She's a young 10. Not got great peer social skills- but confident and great talking to adult.
Also just diagnosed dyslexic (not relevant but paints a better pic).
She has just lost her first canine (the first tooth loss in years).
She has sweetly written the tf a letter asking a few questions about her.
Should I reply (like I occasionally did when she was little with tiny spidery writing)? Potentially making her an object of ridicule when she joins y6 next week.
Or should I write back and allow her her last vestiges of child wonder before she becomes Pre-teen?

Cross post!

Seriously though what does that sentence even mean? Wish parents grew up at same rate as their kids?

I guess when my 13 year old decides that they're mature enough to start drinking I should go with the flow

There is an age when kids really don't need or want to believe in a very young and infantile myth. Parents do tend to want to keep this going. Get over yourselves, kids grow up.

One thing that is always missed in these conversations is the understanding of the conceptual development of children.

Until age 7 children can hold fantasy and reality jointly at the same time. So they can see daddy's feet sticking out from underneath the Sant costume, and at one level know it is daddy, and at the same time totally and utterly believe that this is santa claus.

That ability to hold fantasy and reality jontly disappears around age 7. Which is why naturally at around that age, most children let their understanding that daddy is dressed up (or whatever) leak into their belief in SC.

Whoops, I spoke too soon, DS1 does believe "the fae" exist in the forest, I asked him just now 😳
I don't wanna spoil it because he's growing up at such a fast rate but also don't want his friends giving him crap for it . Hard to take my own advice

*Another strange sweeping statement from julietbat.

Kids of 9 do not believe in these things, they keep it going for their parents*

Irony. Surely you understand children grow up at different rates silver I don't know any 5 year olds who don't believe or who would have the piss taken out of them for believing. If you live in an area that happens then i feel sorry for you and your children.

Yawn I really am bored with you now silverbell64

You are terribly monotonous. You just keep repeating yourself (and insulting people who don't agree with you, which is almost everyone!) but you don't answer the question - how do you know that children do not believe and they just pretend?

And you are not answering because you have no answer.

You cannot possibly know what every child in the world thinks.

As you were.

Bye.

@sparepantsandtoothbrush

Surely you understand children grow up at different rates silver I don't know any 5 year olds who don't believe or who would have the piss taken out of them for believing. If you live in an area that happens then i feel sorry for you and your children.

This x 1000^

I think in previous generations children stopped believing in Santa and the tooth fairy a little younger maybe 7 or 8 but these days with all the tv channels and norad etc kids stop might stop believing a bit later there is nothing wrong with this at all but I do think a child should be told before secondary school.

Im an advocate of children rather than adults every time and Steppemum has sort of said it. Parents that want to keep their children younger than their years worry me greatly. Alway remember that a child is a gift on loan rather than something to own and the greatest thing you can do for your child is to help them be independent.

but silverbell, if you read my first post you will see that my 9 year old, who I know full well doesn't actually believe, adores the idea of writing tiny letters to and from the tooth fairy.

She is playing a game, one she loves, she is still at the age when she playing fairies etc. I am happy ot write letters for her if she wants. I am also happy to let go of fairies (actually I would love to lose the fairies)
Her friends still do it too. No teasing there, I'm pretty sure they all know, no teasing here.

You are right steppemum, kids don't tease each other for believing when they are under 10.

Now THAT is a fantasy. Ironic eh?!

Do it! My DD is 9 and loves all this kind of thing and OP....my DD has very good social skills...it's about their beautiful imaginations and not their social skills.

I sort of disagree that the kids don't tease them but if you think they don't then go ahead!

My dd still plays with soft toys, we had a tea party for them yesterday, baked a cake (yes obviously she suggested that so she could have cake!) It was fun! I'm sure lots of 10 year olds are too 'grown up' for that now, so what? She isn't. She is doing things at her own pace.

Teaching kids independence is something a parent should do at the child's pace so that confidence is built too.

Were you teased? Do you have other children that were teased? Were you a teaser? Do you work with kids in some capacity? Are you omnipotent? HOW do you know, please elaborate. Your statement MUST be based on something other than your own musings. Enlighten us, do.

Were you teased? Do you have other children that were teased? Were you a teaser? Do you work with kids in some capacity? Are you omnipotent? HOW do you know, please elaborate. Your statement MUST be based on something other than your own musings. Enlighten us, do.

I totally agree with what you're saying slim. However I see most children wanting to move past father christmas at 10. I understand that as a parent you would want to keep them young, it is however at a parents detriment to do this. Lets agree to disagree.

Not sure what you're saying.. what does omnipotent mean? Im not musing? I have a 20 year old boy and have gone through the stages, so yeah Im probably more wise.

If a child WANTS to move on then of course, yes, no one is disagreeing with that. The issue here is that you cannot seem to accept that not all kids are like your kids! Some really really do still believe, or at least want to believe at 10 and parents go along with this.

Anyway. Potato, potarto. I'll ask santa to keep you off the naughty list

My 10 yr old has asc. I wrote a note at the last tooth explaining that quality control rejects any tooth older than 10 years and the teeth should be given to a parent but the pound would continue.
She knows. We're humouring each other.

thanks for that slim. maybe because we live in different parts of the country, we have different views. Im in London so there wouldn't be a chance in hell that son couldn't know the score.

I'm in London too, as I said, very multicultural school.

Just as an aside, why the fuck are we all still up and posting? I've got the start of a cold and can't sleep so am having a hot milk (possibly biscuits) in the hope that I will nod off soon.

Great. not sure why you felt the need to tell this but even teachers have a different opinion. I believe that after a certain age that whilst you sort of go along with it, it stops and you promote real life. That for me happens at about 7 onwards.

Oh I dunno, just lightening the load, being a fellow human, it wasn't meant in an angry tone, I was just curious as to why others were up at this time of night. Time for bed for me.

silverbell reminds me of the mum and little girl from Miracle on 34th Street. Committed rationalists ... but they are eventually touched by magic.