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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should I have rang non-emergency police. DS1 verbally attacked.

306 replies

TwoMummyPigs · 31/08/2017 16:18

I took DS1 (12) and DS2 (11) to get their school shoes yesterday. We got on the bus and downstairs was busy so went to sit upstairs. We sit at the very back, with my partner.

Two stops later there was a bang on the side of the bus as it pulled up to the stop. I thought someone had been hit as there was shouting. Turns out this young girl had ran at the bus and hit the doors. She was about 12/13 and with a friend of about 14/15 and a boy of the same age.

A few minutes later they come upstairs and are visibly dissapointed that we are at the back.

This girl is SO loud and mouthy. She dramatically runs up the aisle and plonks her self down on the last seat before ours.
She is shouting about how she had stormed out after hitting her dad Hmm and screaming at her friend about 'not being allowed to fucking talk!' She was awful. Everyone on the bus were exchanging glances.

Now my sons don't go places without me. They are very polite and reserved.

My DS was sat behind her, facing my gf as the seats at the back face each other.

Whilst she is hollering and shouting my DS and GF are talking about something completely unrelated and DS laughs.
Next thing I know this girl gets up, comes round the seat and leans down into DS and starts shouting "what the fuck are you laighing about?? You know nothing about my life. Who the fuck do you think you are?"

I leaned forwards and put my hand against her shoulder (not pushing her just creating a barrier) and told her to back off and leave him alone.

She then turns on me. She put her face literally ab INCH away from mine and started the same shit with me. My gf stood up and told her to basically piss off and she had brass balls and carried on shouting.

She storms off and sits halfway down the bus and starts shouting about 'people listening into her private conversations'

So I say 'no body wanted to listen to your drama love but you were screaming loud enough for the whole bus to hear and he wasn't laughing at you!"

The bus driver came up and made them go downstairs (the older girl was just laughing the whole time but the older boy did try to control the littler one) He didn't even kick them off the bus!

DS said he was ok but he looked a little shaken and they did say on the way back he hoped she wasn't on the bus home.

Should I have done more? Complained to the driver? Called 101? She was so aggressive and out of order.

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 01/09/2017 14:19

She's in a public place so yeah she could have filmed it but I think generally that will inflame a situation like this. No one likes to be filmed when they are being an asshole!

Titanz I'm not as polite in real life when I'm moaning about work lol!

Walkingdead11 · 01/09/2017 14:21

Which is what I was arguing all along! That those do deem it a waste of time weren't there and should not be minimising verbal abuse. No one should be doing that, as I've said.

Titanz · 01/09/2017 14:29

Well tbf you were trying to say this was assault firstly.

The question was should she ring them. People said no, many agreeing with me that it would be pointless - because what are the police supposed to do? I deem it a waste of time if there's ball all the police can do and nothing will come of it. It's not minimising verbal abuse, it's accepting reality. Words hurt yes, but it doesn't automatically make it a crime.

Obviously threatening someone is a bit different, but considering that was not included in the OP and only when OP was actually told SHE was the one who potentially assaulted the girl by laying her hands on her did it come up, so I'm ignoring it as a drip feed.

Anyway, OPs kids have probably forgotten about it by now Grin

Walkingdead11 · 01/09/2017 14:44

All I was trying to do was to point out to some posters that verbal assault is as damaging as physical if not more so. We now are identifying this particularly in terms of dv. Now of course this wasn't dv but the impact of verbal assault is none the less a very real tangible thing which some posters will do well to take note of.

Then it got into the nature of crime and the way in which the police do their job. This is a much wider issue and as anti social crimes are on the rise, not one we are probably going to solve anytime soon.

BlurryFace · 01/09/2017 14:56

Not worth calling the police for, OP. If she carries on down this path, she'll get them called on her eventually. That or a good thump when she picks on the wrong person. She'll get hers eventually.

grandOlejukeofYork · 01/09/2017 15:39

All I was trying to do was to point out to some posters that verbal assault is as damaging as physical if not more so

Don't be even more ridiculous than you are already. A child mouthing off at you is by no measure more damaging that being physically attacked.

grandOlejukeofYork · 01/09/2017 15:40

If I was a police officer I would have no issue in dealing with it to the furthest extent I could

Which is to say.....not at all?

Nicknacky · 01/09/2017 15:48

grandole Grin you can read that either way!

grandOlejukeofYork · 01/09/2017 15:49

I know, but your woman will read it her way, and she's gone mad enough!

Nicknacky · 01/09/2017 15:54

Lol!

Titanz · 01/09/2017 16:00

nicknackys balanced social media conduct is defo a credit to the force ha.

Walkingdead11 · 01/09/2017 16:14

GrandOle, you are so ignorant it isn't even funny. This girl will soon be an adult, may have been older or younger than the OP thought but you obviously know nothing about verbal assault and you are a blatant victim blamer.

youarenotkiddingme · 01/09/2017 16:18

You dealt with it and bus driver intervened.

Sounds like the poor girl has enough issues in her life already.

JessicaEccles · 01/09/2017 16:58

Verbal assault is not an actual crime.

Walkingdead11 · 01/09/2017 17:35

That depends, if it's of a sexual, race or disabling nature it can be. Rather than the pedantic nature of what constitutes assault maybe there needs to be more compassion for the victim and not the shouting aggressive girl. I tell you, if I was to get verbal with any of your kids you'd have something to say.

kali110 · 01/09/2017 17:45

Walkingdead11 ignore, they're clearly a gf Hmm they're enjoying getting a rise out of you.

Walkingdead11 · 01/09/2017 18:29

I know, it just riles me that still, in this day and age verbal aggression is so tolerated and the effects of anti social behaviour so minimised. I'd have expected better from the female police officer though, but I can't say I'm too surprised, just sad that this sort of thing isn't taken more seriously. Retaliate though or defend yourself, then it gets taken seriously. Angry

Nicknacky · 01/09/2017 18:39

Eh I clearly said that I would deal with in as far as I was able to. And my gender as a female has nothing to do with my role at work. I'm a police officer.

Walkingdead11 · 01/09/2017 18:43

Antisocial behaviour is defined as “behaviour by a person which causes, or is likely to cause, harassment, alarm or distress to one or more persons not of the same household as the person” (Antisocial Behaviour Act 2003 and Police Reform and Social Responsibility Act 2011). I'm sure you are aware of this act Nicky but just in case.

Allthelightsgoout · 01/09/2017 18:48

I wish people wouldn't throw around 'victim blaming' when it doesn't apply to the situation. It minimises actual victim blaming.

Neither the OP nor her son have been blamed for the situation. She was just told that expecting the Police to investigate a child shouting at someone on a bus would be a bit of a stretch.

Walkingdead11 · 01/09/2017 18:48

Nicky

You along with certain other posters attempted to minimise and effectively ridicule my views on this matter. The effects of anti social behaviour on communities are devastating for many people and that includes such aggression by those classed as children. I mean I know it isn't up there with murder but still worthy of tackling and empathy wouldn't you agree?

Walkingdead11 · 01/09/2017 18:51

Allthelights

The OP was blamed for protecting their son and actually told it was abuse to place their hand on the girls shoulder. Being told that you are as bad as the aggressor is victim blaming.

Nicknacky · 01/09/2017 18:54

Walking, where did I ask for the legislation? Stop trying to be patronising.

And where did I say it shouldn't be tackled? Stop trying to twist my words.

LespritDescalier · 01/09/2017 18:56

You along with certain other posters attempted to minimise and effectively ridicule my views on this matter

I did ridicule your views on the matter. Because they are ridiculous.

kali110 · 01/09/2017 18:57

Allthelightsgoout actually the op was acussed of being as bad as the girl during this.

I think nicky is being put in a hard place.
Im certainly not saying the op shouldn't report, but the police may find it rather difficult to do anything about it.

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