Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hotel restaurant and iPads etc

439 replies

mckenzie · 31/08/2017 09:53

We are on holiday and staying in a hotel with breakfast included.
Settle nicely at a table this morning, in the shade, over lookimgbthe gardens, watching the birds on the ledge. A family then take the table next to us.

The older child (I'm guessing age 5) is given an iPad and starts playing a game with noice so we can hear ping and pong and clapping and other computer type noises.
The younger child (I'm guessing 18 months) has a phone propped up in front of her and is watching a video of some sort so we can hear high pitched animated voices and weird music.

AIBU to expect the family to think of others and provide said children with headphones?

OP posts:
Fresh8008 · 01/09/2017 15:14

TealStar, likewise I wouldn't want a table next to someone enforcing dining etiquette when we have paid for a holiday to relax, in a family friendly pubic space with wifi. Very uncomfortable. I tolerate your rules at your table, you have to tolerate mine at my table. That's what a public space is.

FYI using tablets/phones is something both adults and children do at tables. Its not a choice between tablets or talking. We also converse as a family about stories that come up in the news or off youtube as we read/watch them. We are able to multi-task, its relaxing taking our time eating food, conversing, playing, reading, something we dont have time to do in our regular life. Its a holiday, not finishing school.

LittleLionMansMummy · 01/09/2017 15:15

Why do I then have to find myself reinforcing our 'no gadgets at the table rule' to my kids

The same reason, and using the same response, that most kids beyond about 4 understand: that different parents/ households have different rules. Fair enough, they should show consideration to others by having the volume down, but the mere fact that they're allowed technology at the table is really nobody else's business but theirs, unless it's encroaching on your right to enjoy a peaceful meal.

Hissy · 01/09/2017 15:17

I have sat in cafes minding my own business, the only bit of child free time I had outside of work, only to have mumma and her 2 little poppets join me on my table without so much as a by your leave.

They have played with food, and tablets, made a noise and a mess, but that's Ok cos Mumma needs a cuppa and a rest from parenting.

It's RUDE to think that your right to take time off from parenting trumps someone else's right to a bit of peace and quiet or enjoyment of some time to themselves. If you are at the end of your tether, that's one thing, but it doesn't get to override the experience of someone else.

I don't want MY kid free time ruined by someone elses kids. ever.

Kids are kids, we all know they are not silent, don't have an off button and all that, but our job as a parent is to give them the tools to navigate situations and experiences with consideration for others.

In kid space, they have 'rules' they work to, play nice, don't hit/run near the pool, listen to instructions etc etc.. in adult spaces there are 'rules' too, and giving kids tech to tranquilise them is storing up huge social problems for the future.

Our secondary school bans all phones during school hours. the reason for this is that even age 11+ kids won't socialise or make friends with other kids if they have phones.

LittleLionMansMummy · 01/09/2017 15:21

And the way you waded in with unnecessary advice (bullshit was it meant in the best way) was always going to get a reaction Hissy as I think you well know. As well as your follow up (in case I missed your incredulity the first time) of 'SIX ffs!' Well done you, you perfect example of how to parent.

Hissy · 01/09/2017 15:22

Why is 'Family Friendly' often a euphemism for 'Badly behaved kids'?

Family friendly is not carte blanche for kids to run riot, it means that menus/portions are adjusted to suit young people.

Family friendly does not mean that you MUST leave the table looking like there was a food fight, or that kids MUST race round in and out of the tables.

Sadly Family Friendly are places I actively avoid nowadays, it's not fun to be in these places when it absolutely should be.

Hissy · 01/09/2017 15:27

Well done you, you perfect example of how to parent.

Thanks. Compliment accepted. Smile

Ijustwantaquietlife · 01/09/2017 15:30

I've had parents on a flight in economy do this, I wanted to stab then for 7 hours.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 01/09/2017 15:30

I tolerate your rules at your table, you have to tolerate mine at my table. That's what a public space is.

Actually no it isn't.

Fresh8008 · 01/09/2017 15:40

Why is 'using an ipad at a table' often a euphemism for 'Badly behaved kids'? - only on Mumsnet are people so pretentious!

My children are well behaved and choose to use tablets on holiday, just as we adults do. We also go swimming without tablets, shopping (sometimes) without tablets, sightseeing without tablets etc etc

But in our hotel we like to relax have fun and yes consume internet which we have paid for. Because we are on HOLIDAY, we relax the normal rules. I feel sorry for children who never get to relax from strict rules.

Family friendly is not carte blanche for kids to run riot, I agree but it does indicate that normal family behavior is acceptable and there are not strict dining rules enforced. Using a tablet is a normal human activity.

You dont like family friendly restaurants then go eat in posh restaurants where there is a dress code.

LittleLionMansMummy · 01/09/2017 15:41

Completely agree with you Hissy about family friendly, although you do seem to have gone off on a tangent about kids nowadays. I have never left mess in these places (even when ds was a baby), always leave them tidy and clear any spillage off the floor, ds has never been allowed to run around tripping waiters up and hanging around other people's tables. Yet the fact that he and other children of parents on this thread uses a tablet, turned low, is what irks you. You asked what people did 10 years ago. When I was growing up (20+ years ago) I was an easy, quiet child who enjoyed reading and colouring. I also had hand held computer games for when I got really bored. So nothing too different to relying on a different form of entertainment these days. Ds reads and plays games/ colours/ looks at pictures of animals on his tablet instead. Times change.

Fresh8008 · 01/09/2017 15:43

Actually no it isn't.

Actually yes it is.

grandOlejukeofYork · 01/09/2017 15:45

Why is 'using an ipad at a table' often a euphemism for 'Badly behaved kids'? - only on Mumsnet are people so pretentious!

Because the excuse trotted out is always that you must put up with the annoying noise from their ipads because the only other option is that they will be running around screaming and shouting. Ergo, they must be badly behaved kids that you must subdue with electronica.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 01/09/2017 15:46

You dont like family friendly restaurants then go eat in posh restaurants where there is a dress code.

How mature.

Primrose06 · 01/09/2017 15:53

I would mention this to the ownér or manager.
You are entitled to enjoy your meal.
Suggest that they have a notice for children to be kept under control and headphones to be used if loads must be on the table.
No wonder children have poor manners and social skills. They should be able to sit through breakfast. The parents should try communicating with them . No wonder they are like zombies

ZucchiniPie · 01/09/2017 16:51

consume internet

Doesn't sound like my idea of a fun thing to do on holiday. Why not just say at home?

ZucchiniPie · 01/09/2017 16:52

'stay' at home Smile

balsamicbarbara · 01/09/2017 17:08

TheRealBiscuitAddict Because back then it was acceptable to discipline your child in public whereas now even raising your voice at then gets people calling the social.

Fresh8008 · 01/09/2017 17:10

Doesn't sound like my idea of a fun thing to do on holiday. Why not just say at home?

Because we want to go to the beach, enjoy a hotter climate, experience a different culture, see things you can't see at home.... All whilst having the convenience of a hotel, the comforts and luxuries you want when relaxing from all the energetic stuff during the day.

Doesn't sound like fun when you have to follow the same strict rules and routine you do when your at home. Why not just stay at home if other peoples behavior upsets you?

Maybe there are some parents who 'medicate' their children's behavior with technology all the time. But those are probably the same parents that would have such badly behaved children without ipads that you would complain to the restaurant about them anyway.

But not all of them, for some like me its a holiday choice afforded to both adults and children as a result of being well behaved, working hard and saving for our time to chill and practice tolerance to others.

Looneytune253 · 01/09/2017 17:13

I don't know why people these days rely on technology rather than teaching their children how to sit nicely in a restaurant. People are getting lazier.

ZucchiniPie · 01/09/2017 17:24

Fresh I was mostly teasing with that comment - tone is hard to convey (should have used an emoji)

On the other hand, I find digital detoxing (for me as an adult - I'm not talking about people should do with their kids here) is actually one of the most relaxing aspects of going on holiday. I find that wired feeling I carry around a lot of the time in normal life at home/work recedes, I stop biting my nails, I sleep better...

This summer, because of the (good) abolition of roaming charges I didn't switch off the mobile data on my phone like I normally do, and I found I was reaching for my phone more... which I regretted. When I used to have it switched off because of roaming charges (and we don't have Wifi access where we go on holiday) it was wonderful to just be offline the majority of the time.

As I say, I'm speaking purely from a personal perspective here.

clarkl2 · 01/09/2017 17:33

Move tables or ask them to turn the devices down. Personally i prefer colouring in stuff, conversations and books....

Wildthing66 · 01/09/2017 17:34

It's very sad to see how many kids and adults are glued to their devices phones iPads etc when they are out for dinner. No conversation taking place within families. Id be embarrassed to behave like this but then we've always eaten at a dinner table together at home and I won't allow my kids their phones at a table when we are out or in, but others do without a care in the world. Sad world. Been to a few restaraunts where phones and iPads have been banned, works a treat.

Nousernamefound · 01/09/2017 17:44

No need for an iPad or phone. Interact with your children ffs!

FrancisCrawford · 01/09/2017 17:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fresh8008 · 01/09/2017 17:49

ZucchiniPie I completely agree. My children and I have all done digital detox's. However its unfair to book a regular family holiday at a hotel with wifi and expect everyone in the restaurant to get rid of their phones/tablets just because one person is on a digital detox.

Wildthing66 Agree that some restaurants should ban phones/ipads, but its unfair to complain you might think its sad, I dont that people are using phones/ipads in ones where they are not banned.

Every generation seems to be sad that the next generation is doing things they didn't/couldn't do and yet society moves on and progress is made.