To be Upset my family forgot my birthday...again.

[SerenityMom]

Today is my birthday and I turned 54. My kids and husband forgot my birthday. This is not the first time. Every year I tell myself to not get upset and play the poor me's but here I go again. They finally remembered and tried to pull together a cake but I stopped them and said not to bother. I actually feel worse pretending it is is a great birthday. Why do I feel like this. I wish I could handle it better, and perhaps drop some hints ( I have done that in the past) that the date is coming. This year I did not have the energy to plan my own party and drop hints them pretend to be surprised. My husband makes me feel like a big nuisance and actually gets mad at me for making him feel bad he forgot. God I sound so awful. Happy !!@@### Birthday!

Oh, that's rubbish. I'm going to guess your kids are boys (sweeping statement) but my husband, his brother and their dad ALWAYS forget their mum's birthday.
I'd be feeling rubbish too. Go and have a large birthday glass of wine in the bath.
Happy birthday!

Forget all of theirs. Bet they will all remember yours in a year from now.

You don't sound awful at all! I'd be devastated if my husband and family forgot my birthday! From now on I would book a family meal and make your husband pay! It's just thoughtless!

Make sure to remind your DC so they can take their dad out to get you a card and present. Try it next year and hopefully it will sink in!

Or just ignore all of their birthdays and see how they feel!

Sorry you've had a shitty day OP.

Happy birthday, hugs to you and get the vino cracked open!

You poor thing. MNers will tell you that you are grabby and that adults shouldn't celebrate birthdays though.

Happy birthday Serenity, I hope your doing something nice for yourself. I'd forget their birthday's - see how they like it. Spend the money on yourself instead, this might make them think twice next year .

How shit!!!!!! What an awful thing to do and YOU care about your birthday so they should make an effort for you (some people don't care about their birthdays and that's fine for them).

Your children forgetting is awful, but your husband?!! And he makes you feel bad about it?!

I would say LTB and start afresh. Do something for yourself to do happy Birthday and find someone who wants to treasure you on your birthday.

Happy Birthday 🎉 🎉

I'm a bloke and I've never forgotten my wife or mum's birthday (and I am far from perfect!). Even if it's too difficult to remember, surely a calendar reminder is not too much trouble for a loved one. Hope the rest of your day goes well OP.

Would it make you feel better to book yourself something special for next year & buy yourself a treat. YANBU it's shit of them all to forget your birthday. Do you get any other cards/presents from friends family?

The forgetting their birthdays is not such a bad idea actually. Have they tried to make up for it

You need to stop feeling as though you're being unreasonable because they forgot your birthday. You SHOULD be very upset. For fuck's sake, what are you to them? Just the live-in help? Why is it your children are so horribly neglectful and seemingly unconcerned about your happiness? Why does your husband take you for granted? Perhaps it's time to reevaluate what you want out of this life. I also think you should tell all of them exactly how hurt you are. Not with tears or whinging, but just matter of fact. I would certainly change the way I look after the rest of them, I can tell you.

Thanks for the support. I think that I will go out now and spend a little time and money on treating myself. Chocolate sounds like a good start. I like the idea of forgetting their birthdays. Not sure I could do it but I like the thought. Made me laugh which is great.

I don't understand why adults aren't entitled to a birthday... I would be rather upset if my family forgot mine..can you treat yourself to something rather splendid then drop hints about your lovely birthday present?

Happy birthday Serenitymom

Happy birthday!

That's really rubbish. I don't understand how they could forget?! Tell them to set up alerts on their phones, in the calendars and diaries and never forget again - or you'll start 'forgetting' their birthdays and see how they like it!

Yanbu, that's crap. My dh is disorganised and usually buys presents the day before, but he does at least remember!
I don't think it's a "man thing" either. My brothers have never once forgotten my birthday or those of my kids.

I have no problem admitting that I would be crushed if my husband or kids forgot my birthday. It's not about being precious or greedy, because I am certainly not either of those things. It's about knowing you're appreciated and cherished by your family. If you can't remember or be bothered to acknowledge your spouse's or mother's birthday, you're one sorry human being.

Thanks for the birthday wishes. They really make me feel better. My sister and Mom sent me messages which is nice. It does tie into a larger theme just how valued am I in this relationship and family. The kids do feel bad....husband not so much. Perhaps this is time to reevaluate so next year is a birthday to remember for the right reasons.

For my birthday I plan something nice for day - go to a spa or have a little shopping trip. And then go out for dinner with my dh - I'll book somewhere I want to go when suits me.
I'd hate to be just waiting for other people to produce a card or arrange something- it's Your birthday... take control of the day!!!

Start getting upset - and let it show (presuming the kids aren't tiny here).
Def ignore your husband's next birthday.

My SiLs b'day gets forgotten every year by her husband and teenage kids. Every year she laughs it off (and gets upset in private). Don't be her.

Happy birthday!!

How old are your kids? If over 10 you can definitely be upset with them!

And I'd absolutely be forgetting your husbands birthday too.

I think you need to give them a spoonful of their own medicine... forget there birthdays, and see how they feel.

Happy birthday Op!

I too have a shit husband who makes no effort for my birthday. I am still sulking and my birthday was last week. We are not alone but god doesn't it feel crap.

Celebrate your birthday however you want.....maybe book yourself a spa day package with champagne afternoon tea? Or plan a day out somewhere doing what ever you don't get time to when you're busy with family?

thosecows for me it's not about taking control, it's about being thought about, and loved enough that your partner does something nice for you to make you special.
Is it that difficult to go to the shops and buy a nice bunch of flowers? A card? No. It is a completely dickish behaviour to do that the person you love.

You don't have to forget it, just don't hand them a card or gift untill 9 at night....

Happy Birthday!

How old are DC?

I do feel if you want people to remember your birthday, the best way to go about it is to make a huge deal of it yourself, that's what I do

I have a Birthday Month which I start advertising about a month in advance. I make plans with family and friends over the whole month, and always have a brilliant time.

I would seriously LTB if any DP/DH forgot my birthday. It's a sackable offence in my book.

Also agree you should "forget" DH birthday - miserable fucker. Just say you thought "we weren't doing adult birthdays any more."