To wish schools would enforce uniform rules

[SunshineAndSmile]

So DD wants to wear black trainers for school but the school says no branded trainer type shoes. Last year 'everyone' wore trainers and nothing happened. The school also say minimal makeup, minimal jewellery, no coloured nail varnish, no fake nails, no shortened skirts but why then do half the girls look like they are going clubbing. Why am I constantly arguing with DD about this when the school just makes rules but doesn't follow them through? I feel like am fighting a loosing battle.

WIBU to ask the school to actually enforce their uniform rules this year?

I think i know parents in your first and third category.

If it was up to me I'd get rid of school uniform all together; but saying that whatever rules they have they should be consistent. It's not fair on the kids and certainly doesn't teach them anything when one pair of shoes, colour of socks or whatever it might be is fine one week and then not the next.

I don't like school uniform and would have supported my kids if they had chosen to refuse to wear it, but they want to wear it - and also want to bend the rules: skirt rolling, make up, trainers etc. If they get pulled up for it they have to accept the consequences. But it seems to me that it's part of how they want to test boundaries around social rules and expectations. I hope they are learning from this too.

Inconsistency irritates me and so I too would get rid of so-called uniform.

I can see that the transgressions are found useful by teachers who are faced with those who want to argue over rules. But the flip side is the rebels' personalised uniform alienates those who followed the original rules.

Ties should go imo. That's a whole other thread on open buttons and big daft knots.

Pengywnn - Do parents really write notes like that? absolutely shocking and deluded in equal measure.

Former teacher here. Tbh, I can't see the problem with teachers calling home if they have something to say which contradicts what the parents have told the child. Better that the adults iron out disagreements rather than put a child in the middle.
Also, not all teachers are reasonsble, nice people - most are professional but I have seenn some shocking behaviour from staff.

Wrt uniform, I think it ought to be comfortable and reflect what is fashionable. Skinnies, hoodies and polo tops sounds great - practical and comfy.
Nylon tank tops and blazers and ties for sweaty teens was a hideous idea.

But the parents have a more important relationship with those children. If you bin notes that their parents send, it is rude and disrespectful. It also puts the kids in the middle.

In. The. Bin made me laugh.

Avoiding - Regardless of the circumstances surrounding the 'note', that is an incredibly rude and poor manner of communicating with a teacher. No one is saying that teachers can't call home to clarify issues.

Just because some teachers are unreasonable doesn't excuse this behaviour and as far as not putting the child in the middle of it, well what do you think this type of ridiculous note above is doing?

I don't think it is unreasonable for them to tell you that if you take issue with something they have said to their child that you should call them and discuss it directly. If you talk to the child about the same issue again then you are putting the child in the middle, which is unfair imo.

Of course it should go without saying that it would be better if the parents phoned you and ironed this out as soon as a conflict arose, but you can't legislate for how they behave, only yourself.
Your authority as a teacher means less than theirs as parents.

You might be totally correct in what you are expecting from the pupil but otoh, you might be ( as far as the parents are concerned) one of the awful ones.

Just to say that most of the teachers I have worked with/ who have taught my dc have been fabulous. Don't want to turn this into a teacher bashing post because most really are doing a great job in often challenging circumstances. Also don't want to derail the thread.

Your authority as a teacher means less than theirs as parents.
Not while the child is at school, surely. It would be chaos if the parents got to decide what teachers could and couldn't do.
"You've got a detention for not doing homework. You haven't as your mum doesn't let you have detentions" etc

Bath I mean authority regarding the relationship with the child, not parents telling teachers what to do in their day to day jobs. Agree that would be madness. But in the end they are accountable to parents because they are being trusted to educate and care for thrir children. Unfortunately there are some teachers who do not accept being questioned or disagreed with - like all people teachers are capable of sometimes not behaving well and it is important their word isn't treated as law.

Pen, parents don't have much of a choice when it comes to sending children to school and it is a cop out to say they shouldn't send a child into your care if they are not happy with everything you say to that child. You know as well as I do that teaching is a skill, not all parents can home educate. If the parents want you to addtess your concerns directly to thrm, then that is what you should do. Your relationship may be with the child but he/she is their child, not yours and you should respect that.

As for complaining to your line manager if they are not happy, do you not think it is more respectful that the parents want to address you directly and not whinge about you to your boss?

They don't want to control every conversation. They just want you to contact them if you disagree with something they have said to their child, rather than continuing that conversation with the child. I honestly think that is fair enough.
They don't really have a choice about school. You know that. Home educating requires skills that not all parents have and also money. Not everyone can stay at home to teach, most families have at least one parent who has to go to work themselves.

Sorry OP. I appear to have derailed your thread. Will leave it here and respectfully agree to disagree.

As for complaining to your line manager if they are not happy, do you not think it is more respectful that the parents want to address you directly and not whinge about you to your boss?
I'll discuss an issue with a parent and continue to do my job without bowing to silly demands.
My approach is very open, honest and reasonable. If someone wants to be arsey and undermine me or the school then I become less flexible until I pass them to a more senior colleague.

Most of us can recall tales where parents have gone over our head. Some of my top complaints about why Maisy can't teach include not understanding that a child's acrylic nails had sentimental value because aunty did them at the weekend and I shouldn't be allowed to work with kids because I told an a level student that handing in a half complete piece of work of y6 standard wasn't going to pass an a level.

I don't get why schools make uniforms OTT though - keep it simple and then rules are easier to not misinterpret, don't cost a fortune and even with minor variations still look smart.

I.e - black leather shoes, black/navy/grey trousers or below knee length skirt, white collared shirt or polo shirt with sleeves (cap, elbow or full), and a coloured / logo'd school jumper.