AIBU - to feel unsupported in my feminist beliefs in the playground

[Goldiloz]

I feel like this is the straw that broke the camels back.
I don't understand why mothers aren't supporting women's rights at primary school. Surely most sane people think that girls should be given the same opportunities as boys. We shouldn't pigeon hole 50% of the population just because they will grow up to have boobs and maybe pop out a kid or two. I feel like I am fighting a losing battle listening to some of the other mums in the playground.
It ranges from presents at birthday parties. The 'norm' seems to be buying girls creative/pink stuff unless they are a 'Tom boy' when they can get 'boy' stuff instead. And boys are only given sports and superhero stuff.
And party bags! Separate ones for boys and girls????
I just don't understand why women fail to see the issue with this and continue to justify it with generalised comments about 'most boys' and 'most girls'.
AIBU to expect more from modern women?

I think you are very right there fruit
Role models are important and actions speak louder than words

EenyMeenyMo great explanation of the quiet insidiousness of gender stereotyping.

Hi Fruitcorner123 if you want other colours you can buy all white then dye them with Dylon machine dye in your washing machine I did this with some v good quality vests I'd been given that were unfortunately stained with fruit: actually dyed them velvet black. DD looked so chic in black vests. I've never seen black on sale for babies either. I agree that manufacturing is funnelling people towards unhelpful stereotypes. But there are things we can do as individuals to redress the balance.

When the children were little the party bags were not boy/girl bags as they got older they did change generally into what the child prefferred

I always tended to do stuff that i thought was just fun, so puzzles , water pistols, those things that bounce up after a few seconds of pushing them down etc

I find the nurture argument although logical, hard to reconcile with experience. I had two boys and 9 years later, a girl. We had a house full of "boys" toys and were used to bringing up boys. her older brothers were encouraged (bribed) to play with her. However she loved to play with baby dolls etc as soon as she was able to show a preference.
I work full time and she knows that Mummy has a "good job" for want of a better word, but at the same time Mummy also goes for manicures and likes pretty dresses without this affecting Mummy's IQ or earning power. Hopefully that is more important ...

Did you know that if you get a group of crawling babies and varying steepness of slopes, the mothers of boy babies reckon they can manage steeper slopes than the mothers of girl babies?

Did you know that if you get a group of crawling babies and varying steepness of slopes, the mothers of boy babies reckon they can manage steeper slopes than the mothers of girl babies? the mothers of the girl babies in this example should be ashamed of themselves for placing limiting beliefs on a person with unlimited potential. Gender schmender.

"the mothers of the girl babies in this example should be ashamed of themselves for placing limiting beliefs on a person with unlimited potential. Gender schmender."
The mothers of girl babies in this example didn't realise they were doing it. Which is rather the point.

The mothers of girl babies in this example didn't realise they were doing it. Which is rather the point. at what point do we stop hiding behind ignorance and start taking personal responsibility for our part in things. Rhetorical question of course.

Were the girl babies and boy babies the same size or age?

Boys and girl babies differ in size according to the growth curves.

I think it's likely that you "see" a smaller baby as younger.

I have one girl that was much smaller than the others. I know I would have been more wary in that instance - as she was smaller.

Nope. All 9 months old.

I will probably get reported for this but I don't hold with this gender fluid thing. There are two genders fact, male or female and we are biologically adapted to prefer certain things. Girls prefer pink, pony's, Barbie etc and boys naturally prefer cars, trucks , etc. To my mind it is madness to promote gender fluid because it's confusing and punishing to kids that they arnt allowed a preference, they are told they aren't allowed to like certain things . If a boy or girl naturally and very rarely likes the opposite then fair enough, my male friend for example used to play with Barbie's and you can probably guess what he is now, but don't try and force your agenda on your child

my male friend for example used to play with Barbie's and you can probably guess what he is now what is he? Are you saying Barbie made him gay? I'd laugh if this wasn't so outrageous.

I agree with you Blahblah about there being two sex male/female, girls tend to like dolls, prams, teddies, whilst boys like, trucks and cars. However don't you think that each sex should have a choice in the toys they play with, girls should be have a variety of different toys: such as Lego, Trucks, cars, robots, dolls, prams, craft sets, and the same with boys. Not limited toys, due to their sex. So I bet you think that women cannot do male dominated jobs, such as engineering, Military, and science and men, nurses, secretaries, models.

Don't you teach your children to choose whatever they want! Be whoever they want! Your ideas are very limiting. If girls and boys rarely play with toys from the opposite sex, is it because their parents and caregivers, like yourself, have condition them from a very early age, to prefer certain toys.

Moreover I don't even believe the gender pay gap is a thing. Just a tool used by feminists to demean and criminalise men, fact is women have more privilege at work than men ( child care, reducedhours, etc) due to family life, and men have none of this. They work longer hours and harder, in often dangerous and dirty jobs so it's no surprise theyhave a higher pay packet. A woman will succeed just as much as men of they put in the time and effort , and that is what kids need to be told. No myths about pay gaps or any of that stuff, tell them we are all equal and get what we earn and work hard for.

Very sweeping statements Blah, have you got any research or evidence to support this! Is it because it is usually a woman raising the family, or the men have sown their seed and buggerd off, leaving the woman holiday the baby.

Blahblah is clearly a wind up.

Girls prefer pink, pony's, Barbie etc

I fucking hate pink, ponies and Barbies. I love cars, do rally driving and have flying lessons with a view to eventually getting my pilot's license.

Wow Tatiana, I love flying, I wish I could do the EasyJet Pilot training, but I am far too old at 40, with my children too. I don't like pink and never have done, even as a girl. Mum was always trying to feminise me, but to no avail.

Actually no I don't think that. Men can be nurses, women engineers if they do choose but in the majority they don't. My male friend for example is a carer for the elderly and disabled and finds it very rewarding. My stepdad also cared for his mother for years. What I do believe though is that we also , as male and female have preferred jobs. Us women for example go for non dirty job like beauty, hair dressing and men work the sewer and hard heavy labor. There is no reason as to why they can't succeed in professionals not normally associated with the opposite sex. God knows I have had my share of career dreams, singer, owning a horse ranch, and my current is to be an author. Point being if you hard enough you can be whatever you want regardless of sex. 😀

I do find it weird when people buy different gift bags. What is that all about?

I have boys, and obviously, they play a lot of sport. What has kind of bothered me over the years is that it seems the default option for boys to go to football/rugby/cricket camps, and the sisters are so frequently hanging around with their mothers all day while the boys are at camp (I say mothers because they're the ones doing to to-ing and fro-ing around here).

I'd never dream of saying anything about this, though.

Its not only that, its how parents condition their children. My mum would not let me be a pilot when I left school, as a young person you are heavily influenced by your parents. My confidence nosedived and I did not apply for the BA pilot training. I did a BA and Msc In Psychology which was much to my mums taste, and yes ended up as a youth worker, working with vulnerable adults, then raising my children.

I'm not going for a commercial licence (ATPL) but private/light aircraft (PPL/LAPL etc).

I've got a (female) friend who's a long haul commercial pilot. It's actually quite boring a lot of the time.

Def have some lessons - it's really enjoyable.

My friend is a short haul BA pilot, and she has the same thing, apart from take off and landing. Good on you Tatiana, that is fantastic, mabey I will, my dad used to do private flying lessons, I think I have the bug from him, he died when I was a child. I know that he would have been very supportive of me being a Pilot.

If you're not a wind up Blah then you're simply brainwashed with sexist twaddle. I wish the pay gap were a myth. As do, I'm sure, female BBC employees.

None of my friends are in beauty or hairdressing. All the women I know are doctors, lawyers, bankers, accountants, journalists, academics, assorted media roles, airline pilot- see above, just like the men.

Absolutely go for it. Save up and have a few lessons and see how you like it. I'm sure your dad would be proud.