To be annoyed that they can't see we're happy

[SentientCushion]

So I've just come back from a family wedding, it was beautiful and the day was perfect for the couple. It was on a very posh estate as the grooms family is ludicrously wealthy and the brides family is also much much wealthier than us. I am very happy for them, they are nice people and I don't begrudge them anything.

However during the day I started to get really annoyed by the comments from some family members about our life choices, me and dh value quality of life over wealth and have decided that we are happy to live in a cheap part of the country and have jobs that we enjoy and aren't stressful so we can have a pretty low stress existence. We have a small but perfectly average house, and I love it.
I was brought up on a council estate and I never thought in a million years I'd be able to buy my own house, I feel so wealthy because I don't have to stress about bills and I can buy what I like in the supermarket. I am really content and I have no desire to get a better house or car or whatever I'm supposed to want.
I am confident in my life choices and I consider myself incredibly lucky to live the way we do.
But it became very clear that we are considered the 'poor relations', every conversation seemed to be about what everyone's job was, how their businesses were doing, how many employees they had etc.
One of my husbands uncles pointed to a man in the crowd and told him to 'not give up hope' because this man works in the same field as my husband and is now a millionaire.
I can't count the amount of conversations I had when I said what my business was where the person started giving me unsolicited and also wrong advice on how to grow it and make more money.
Whenever I said 'but I'm happy with my life and business' it fell on deaf ears.
It really wound me up and by the end of the night I was starting to feel quite upset because they obviously look down on us and I hadn't even realised! It also came out that they call us Spike and Daisy from the film Notting Hill behind our back as a cute pet name, which they thought we'd think was a compliment!!!

I can normally just brush things like this off but for some reason I came away feeling really bruised.

They didn't have the same start as me by a long stretch. I came from a council estate and had a really rough start in life, they all went to private school, the groom went to Eton and father is a lord.

I just thought we all saw each other as equals.

Nope, I'm still struggling to see the error here.

My SIL was genuinely puzzled when, after a long speech about how we could further ourselves to their level financially (so you can have what we've got), I said, "But I don't want what you've got."

Fifteen years later, I think she gets it, but she still thinks I'm 'quirky'.

We're like you, OP. We have a pretty great life, but in a way which is comfortable for us.

sentient you sound like a lovely person who has found a lovely balance, just because what you are doing is different to their choices doesn't make it wrong just like they're choices are not wrong, i suppose its all about respecting each others choices and not feeling the need to validate them x if you are happy and content then you are the winner, no need to justify your self just smile secretly and move on x

I don't understand why it annoys you so much. Surely if you are so contented you just smile and ignore?

This thread is giving me a headache. OP I totally get it, we're the poor relations but we have a really nice life. It's the result of us choosing to prioritise certain things over others. I am ok with that. It helps that in close family we have the example of people succeeding by following their values rather than what people 'should' be doing.

I can appreciate other people value other things and that is fine. Some people really can't get their heads round it though. You have to just smile politely and commiserate with your partner in private over how weird it is. And for some people I wonder if they've ever questioned if they actually do want the stuff and the status, or are just following it because they think they should. I know friends of ours who just really get a kick out of it and I don't begrudge them that.

Totally get where you're coming from OP.
The trouble, I find with people of that ilk, is that they are very, very good at making people feel valued and liked etc...which for them is what one does to get to the root of someone. And then once they've realised that they won't add anything fungible to their life, they don't bother to keep up the pretence.
Remember one such gathering where, I asked what someone did for a living; response was "Oh, I work in London". When it transpired that I didn't, it couldn't have been clearer that this person was not interested in making any more conversation, despite the conversation occurring through common ground being found during group small talk.
Bottom line (as I see it!): for them, money/possessions/perceived status is the absolute crux of life.
For you and countless others, it really isn't.

As one other poster said...Fuck 'em!

Good on you, live YOUR life the way YOU want to. It's gonna be better than a lot xxx

Perhaps they think the wealth and a nice house,lots of holidays and a large business gives them the right to give you advice,,,Sadly this happens to a lot of people
Money can make them incredibly rude,