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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to take this child's sibling too?

336 replies

Wilburissomepig · 27/08/2017 09:57

Off for a day out today for DD's birthday and have invited her friend to come with us. She's an absolutely lovely kid and I'm more than happy to have her come along, she comes out with us quite a lot.

Have just had a text from her mum to ask if we can also take her sister with us too as she (mum) isn't feeling very well today and it would really help her out.

Normally, I would be happy to help but I really don't want to take her sister too. She used to come round 2/3 years ago when the girls were younger but I had to put a stop to it as she caused so much drama. She constantly argues with her sister, makes her cry, kicked the dog while he was asleep to get him to move out of her way Angry and was consistently unkind to my DD too. She's 12, very sullen and generally would make the day miserable for everyone.

She also, I very strongly believe, took some things from my house and money from my purse. I didn't tell her mum at the time (I know I should have) because she was going through a horrendous time at that point and didn't want to make things worse. I've since found out that she did the same at another friends house (who did tell mum so she is aware of the problem). After the dog and money incidents (on the same day) I just put a stop to her coming round by generally engineering it that way. (So I basically took the easy way out).

I feel like a bitch for not helping this woman out if she's not well but I really don't want to take this girl along too and I'm well aware that I sound like an utter cow for saying this about a 12 year old kid but it's really going to spoil the day for DD and her friend. I also don't know what to say to her mum.

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 27/08/2017 11:29

I hope you just have the kids you actually wanted with you, op.

scrabbler3 · 27/08/2017 11:30

12 year olds can look after themselves and make their sick mum cups of tea etc. I thought these children were going to be about 9 or younger.

I reckon the kid has been whining and her mum wants peace.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 27/08/2017 11:30

Hope your DD and her friend (and no sibling!) enjoy their birthday trip out.

CatsPurr · 27/08/2017 11:31

Hope you stood your ground OP. Doubt cheeky mum was going to give you money to cover the extra cost so you shouldn't have to take the girl or pay for her.

kittymamma · 27/08/2017 11:31

That reply from her was dam cheeky! I'd send DD to the door while I was "busy sorting something in the car". She has been quite rude, why should you speak to her.

Earlyriser84 · 27/08/2017 11:32

It must be the bank holiday weekend turning people into cheeky bastards judging from the threads on mumsnet !

She obviously just wants her out of the way for a bit of peace or whatever. Can the 12 year old not go and play out ffs ?!

Ill my arse !

Hope you stuck to your guns Smile

PovertyPain · 27/08/2017 11:34

If you take both kids you will get a message later saying you need to keep them overnight, as she's to sick to take them back.

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/08/2017 11:35

HOPe you picked up friend only

Sister is 12 and quite capable of looking after her self if and I say if the mum is ill

This is dd birthday treat. 3 won't work

And agree if happens again just keep repeating self

No I can't help today - hope you feel better etc

Inertia · 27/08/2017 11:35

A 12 year old can at least entertain herself at home, or better yet help look after poorly mum.

Think I would reply to the text to re-iterate that you cannot take 12you before you arrive.

babybigapple · 27/08/2017 11:36

CFFM (cheeky fucking friend's mum) placemark

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/08/2017 11:37

How did it go?

RudeDog · 27/08/2017 11:38

12 - she needs food and a TV to keep her occupied....

DDs relationship with her best friend was ruined by her mum trying to saddle me with her younger sister (friend aged 7, sister aged 4) constantly.
Her younger sister used to spend the whole time sitting on my lap sobbing for her mum/for sweets/because she didn't like the game the older girls were playing.
Friends mum once suggested I leave DH at home when I went on a day trip to accommodate the younger sister as well as friend.

Can't be doing with this shit.

InvisibleCities · 27/08/2017 11:39

I think the 12 year old wants to go on the trip and the mother is trying to get her on the trip as the 12 year old is winging about it

That's my suspicion too, especially after the sulky reply.

NataliaOsipova · 27/08/2017 11:42

Friends mum once suggested I leave DH at home when I went on a day trip to accommodate the younger sister as well as friend.

Shock😂😂😂😂

Queenioqueenio · 27/08/2017 11:47

I am open mouthed at all these threads and the sheer cheek of some people, who have no qualms in asking (then moaning) about v cheeky requests. What ever happened to good manners pearl clutches?
Really hope she didn't put you on the spot again in person OP.

MrsChopper · 27/08/2017 11:48

Hope you stayed strong, OP.

My suspicion too is that the 12 yo is bored and whinging and she tried to come up with an excuse to make you take her!

SilverBirchTree · 27/08/2017 11:48

Any update OP?

jeaux90 · 27/08/2017 11:48

Rudedog that is Shock

Hortonlovesahoo · 27/08/2017 11:50

Here's hoping OP stood her ground! It could also be the 12yr old knows where they're going and wants to come too, rather than being 'stuck at home'.

Nomoreboomandbust · 27/08/2017 11:52

God how bloody awkward for you op.

AnnMeredithPerkins · 27/08/2017 11:53

How was it op? Wailing children at the door?

Prusik · 27/08/2017 11:55

Hope you managed to stand your ground, op!

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 27/08/2017 11:56

I hope you didn't cave! If presssured say that it's down to her fucking terrible behavior. Have you ever actually told the the mother of this dog kicking little brat how she behaves? If she'd kicked our dogs she'd know full well why she wasn't invited. As for I thought you'd help, she's a sponger, ignore. You are helping by taking the decent child out with you.

Shadow666 · 27/08/2017 11:56

I'm imagining the mum and 12-year-old making Daily Mail sad faces while forlornly waving their sister off.

Booboobooboo84 · 27/08/2017 11:58

Tbf I don't think the mum was cheeky to ask. If she's on her own and struggling and ill and 12 is a bit of a shit it's fine to ask. The guilt trip message was shitty though. Please tell me you didn't collect both

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