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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

neighbours car has been in my garden for 3 months

565 replies

PastryOnMyMind · 26/08/2017 10:14

first ever thread but I wanted some opinions from the outside

neighbours came to me in early May to ask if they can use our drive for two weeks, they bought their DD a car for her birthday as a surprise.
fair enough I thought no problem

the car is still there.

we don't want to cause tension with the neighbours because we all have to live here

my DD is 14 month and has just started to toddle so would like front garden back to make safe ( weeding, gates) for her to play in and I can sit on the door step whenever she wabts to venture outside.

we managed to catch him last week and told him we want to do our garden for DD (can't use back garden, subsided and v unsafe) and asked if he had an idea of when he was planning to shift his car

two months!!! we were quite shocked because he was very matter of fact, no apology etc and dp said "it's kind of taking the piss" and neighbour shrugged it off. it's the end of October...

aibu to want my garden back before October so I can let my DD run loose in her own space whilst we may still have sunny weather/ light evenings??
part of me feels selfish because we don't drive so don't have a car therefore a "drive way" in the literal meaning isn't needed. but our garden IS the drive way.

I'm quite timid and have no idea how to go about this whole situation so I was hoping some mumsnet opinions might help me figure out what to doGrin

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Original poster
PastryOnMyMind · 27/08/2017 19:39

I love you all for giving me the confidence to sort it all out
for being there when I was having panic attacks and for pushing me to call 101 and just making me feel like I wasn't alone doing it. thank you all so so so much you lovely bunch.

two amazing police ladies came and had a chat, not just about them but about my anxiety. they went to talk to the neighbours and told them to move their car by next Monday (neighbours said it needs battery so police are giving them a fair warning to get shifted and insured)
neighbours said that my dp was quite threatening toward them, which I told the police officers he certainly wasn't. assuming they're trying to justify their behaviour. they told the police they are mortified and embarrassed about last night and are sorry.
funny though how they didn't apologise to us, but did when the police were knocking at their door.
I don't care.

just so glad it's all over now.
police gave me mobile number to text if car not gone by the 4th

I feel like there's a weight off my shoulders.

my first ever thread was NOT what I expected. thank you all. so much.

OP posts:
BWatchWatcher · 27/08/2017 19:43

Well done Pastry! You did it!Flowers

annielouise · 27/08/2017 19:44

Well that's a result but personally I'd be pissed off the police gave them until next Monday without consulting me! The battery isn't your problem. And what idiots saying your DP was threatening. Even if he had been he had a right to be with nutcases turning up at your door at 2am!

Notreallyarsed · 27/08/2017 19:44

Well done you!! Funny how they backed right down when the police came eh? Hopefully it's gone by the 4th and you can relax a bit.

annielouise · 27/08/2017 19:45

By not enforcing them get rid of it straight away the police have opened you up for this dragging on. Oh, we can't afford the battery this week, it'll have to wait another week, etc. Oh, my aunt's dog died and we're in mourning and we just couldn't face it this week, we'll do it next week, promise. And so on.

Original poster
PastryOnMyMind · 27/08/2017 19:46

the police gave me a number to text on the 4th to say if it's gone she said if it isn't she'll be forcing them to move it. they did the best they could not to cause me any more upset.

I'm just so happy

OP posts:
milliemolliemou · 27/08/2017 19:46

Well done OP.

Now start making sure the car-less garden is actually safe and get back to the rental agency. I don't care if the little old lady who owns it just receives letters - she needs to face up to the fact the garden needs attention and is potentially dangerous. Wave that in the front of the rental agency and ask if she's properly insured for accidents on her property (speaking as a LL who cares).

hooochycoo · 27/08/2017 19:47

Well done OP.

I have had a situation with a threatening neighbour too that I had to go to the police about.

My advice is if they come and try and talk to you about it in a threatening on abusive way, phone 101 immediately on your mobile phone in front of them and say something like " Hello yes! I have phoned you previously due to a neighbour refusing to move their property from my premises and threatening me when I asked them to. The neighbour is actually threatening me again right now as I'm talking to you and I feel intimidated and scared. Please could an officer attend asap? "

I had to do this a few times before the neighbour gave up trying to intimidate me.

Don't engage with them unless they are being completely contrite and kind and embarrassed. Any nonsense and call the police asap.

octoberfarm · 27/08/2017 19:49

I've been following from the beginning, and just wanted to pop on to say a huge well done for getting this resolved. Both you and your printer sound lovely. I hope you don't get any more trouble now, and that your garden is soon perfect for hours of playing with your girl Smile

Notaneasyone4me · 27/08/2017 19:52

My word! What bullying arseholes Angry

I'm extremely reactionary and possibly would have made this situation a million times worse!

Your doing well !

flumpybear · 27/08/2017 19:52

Well done pastry ...... big tick on the dealt with anxiety thing too - I suffer with anxiety but I do fight my corner albeit I get antsy and a bit breathless but at least it's dealt with head on

InsomniacAnonymous · 27/08/2017 19:56

I'm so pleased you called the police and they've been so effective and supportive. Now you won't feel so scared and alone. You've got back-up! Smile

Tinkie25 · 27/08/2017 19:58

Glad you're feeling better. Hopefully they'll move it soon.

annielouise · 27/08/2017 20:00

Glad you're happy with the result Pastry. If they say anything to you, threaten you in any way, get straight back to the police. That's the only message they'll understand. And if they do personally I'd want the car off my property the same day as that's just taking the piss.

DartmoorDoughnut · 27/08/2017 20:00

Fab, well done pastry

timeisnotaline · 27/08/2017 20:02

Thank goodness you called the police. Make sure you cal them back if anything happens, although hopefully the neighbours are going to be more careful. Personally if they ever knock after 11 id call the police 30 species in after your last experience. You had to do that you know- they said October but they said two weeks before, they don't really care what they say, plus they would have seen it as a green light to bully you about anything they wanted. I hate bullies, they really have to be stood up to extremely firmly from the start.

Badweekjustgotworse · 27/08/2017 20:09

Well done op, I'm sure you feel like a weights been lifted! Get your feet up after Dd goes down and treat yourself to some shite telly and a wee drink of something tasty

Ontheboardwalk · 27/08/2017 20:11

Well done Pastry

CF mortified and embarrassed my arse! As you say only when the police turned up and they got called out for their bad behaviour.

Hopefully that's the end of it and it'll be gone a week on Monday. Don't interact with them, if they start anything or approach you just ring the police.

Leeds2 · 27/08/2017 20:14

Well Done, Pastry.

Although I am astounded they gave them a week to sort out a flat battery.

rainbowduck · 27/08/2017 20:14

Brilliant outcome! Well done!

Now, to wait until the 4th...

TeachesOfPeaches · 27/08/2017 20:19

Well done OP. I'm surprised the police have got involved in this but glad it has worked out for you.

Original poster
PastryOnMyMind · 27/08/2017 20:21

I couldn't have done it without you all. expected 3 replies maximum she I wrote the thread, I felt like I had the MN army waiting to come to my rescue. Grin

yes, now to wait until the 4th. I will definitely post when the car is gone, or if they drink and shout at us again. why drink if that's how it effects you?!?!

my next big step is my interview on Tuesday. and then I'm going to buy some huge gates and pretty flowers and frollick around in MY garden Grin

I think they should offer MN as a prescription at the doctors. worked far better than any pills.

thank you all again. a d to those of you with shitty neighbours I hope yours get sorted! Flowers

OP posts:
annielouise · 27/08/2017 20:22

Good luck with the interview, don't let those people derail how good you feel right now. Let us know when the car goes.

EyesUnderARock · 27/08/2017 20:26

She must live somewhere civilised Teaches. Grin

Tiddlywinks63 · 27/08/2017 20:28

Well done! 💐 Hideous experience for you and your DH neighbours sound totally unhinged to me
Fingers crossed for your interview, will be thinking of you op!