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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

neighbours car has been in my garden for 3 months

565 replies

PastryOnMyMind · 26/08/2017 10:14

first ever thread but I wanted some opinions from the outside

neighbours came to me in early May to ask if they can use our drive for two weeks, they bought their DD a car for her birthday as a surprise.
fair enough I thought no problem

the car is still there.

we don't want to cause tension with the neighbours because we all have to live here

my DD is 14 month and has just started to toddle so would like front garden back to make safe ( weeding, gates) for her to play in and I can sit on the door step whenever she wabts to venture outside.

we managed to catch him last week and told him we want to do our garden for DD (can't use back garden, subsided and v unsafe) and asked if he had an idea of when he was planning to shift his car

two months!!! we were quite shocked because he was very matter of fact, no apology etc and dp said "it's kind of taking the piss" and neighbour shrugged it off. it's the end of October...

aibu to want my garden back before October so I can let my DD run loose in her own space whilst we may still have sunny weather/ light evenings??
part of me feels selfish because we don't drive so don't have a car therefore a "drive way" in the literal meaning isn't needed. but our garden IS the drive way.

I'm quite timid and have no idea how to go about this whole situation so I was hoping some mumsnet opinions might help me figure out what to doGrin

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Ameliablue · 26/08/2017 10:32

vehicleenquiry.service.gov.uk
Enter reg number here to check tax and mot status.

Handsoffmysweets · 26/08/2017 10:33

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

BWatchWatcher · 26/08/2017 10:34

You can't please everyone. Isn't pleasing your family better than catering to your neighbour?

Original poster
PastryOnMyMind · 26/08/2017 10:35

just checked and yes it's taxed and MOT done,
i just needed a push to make sure I was doing the right thing as I wasn't sure if I was just being selfish for wanting it gone! I will go over and speak to him after lunch and will let you know how it goes.

I'm glad that I'm not in the wrong and I feel much more able to confront this now. I am a bit "wet" as a previous poster stated, unfortunately not all of us have giant bollocks and a bag of confidence when it comes to potential confrontation Blush

fingers crossed he shifts it!!Grin

OP posts:
ShatnersWig · 26/08/2017 10:37

I wasn't sure if I was just being selfish for wanting it gone!

There's being a people pleaser and then there's being a doormat.

Get yourself some assertiveness training once you've sorted out the car. It will stand you in very good stead in life!

Ishouldbedoingsomething · 26/08/2017 10:38

Can you get a garage to tow it onto the road so your garden is free?

rollonthesummer · 26/08/2017 10:39

Does the daughter know it's her car-has the 'surprise' already happened?

They are being very cheeky-please don't let them.

Original poster
PastryOnMyMind · 26/08/2017 10:39

I used to be v confident! spending the last 14 months at home with DD swinging from my boobs has knocked it out of me for some reason. though I will look into it, I've seen that being said on here before and keep making a mental note to look into it.

thank you for all the quick responses!

OP posts:
pappajonessecretchild · 26/08/2017 10:40

is space to park on your road a problem? tell him that he can park on the road in front of your dropped kerb for the drive as you dont have a car so it wont be blocking anything, but you really need to have the garden back now.

Ameliablue · 26/08/2017 10:41

Just be clear and assertive don't ask him if he can please move it. Tell him it must be moved by....

Original poster
PastryOnMyMind · 26/08/2017 10:42

yes she knows, she's taken it around the block once, as has her dad but other than that it's been left. they did drag it out by hand once and look in the bonnet so I assume it wasn't starting and by the time I put my DD in bed it was back on the drive so assume they fixed it

OP posts:
chickenowner · 26/08/2017 10:42

Wow, what a cheeky sod!

19lottie82 · 26/08/2017 10:43

FGS just go round and tell (not, ask) them to move it! Hmm

justilou1 · 26/08/2017 10:45

Oh FFS! How hard can it be??? You agreed to two weeks. Bang on the door and tell him to get it off your property or you will have it towed away. While he is clearly a shit, he knows you are going to fluff around instead of being direct.

Greenkit · 26/08/2017 10:46
Shock
Backt0Black · 26/08/2017 10:47

get careless with some pots of paint while 'decorating'... take some 'empties' out to the bin and whoooops

Handsoffmysweets · 26/08/2017 10:47

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

Fairenuff · 26/08/2017 10:48

He won't agree to move it so you need a plan for when he says no.

I think you need to explain that you need your garden by tomorrow and if it's not moved off your drive you will have it towed and send him the bill.

missmollyhadadolly · 26/08/2017 10:48
Shock

My blood pressure is rising for you! Please report back.

Serialweightwatcher · 26/08/2017 10:49

Just go round - say you've spoken to your DP properly about it and you've been more than fair in leaving it there for 3 months already - it needs to be gone this week so you can do what you need to do for YOUR daughter in YOUR garden ... if he gets shitty, tell him you will have it towed ... why try to keep the peace with a neighbour who is a piss taker and doesn't consider your feelings?

TomFun · 26/08/2017 10:50

Tell him it needs shifting by the end of tomorrow. If it isn't, get a load of mates round on Monday to help move the bloody thing out into the road.

PurpleMinionMummy · 26/08/2017 10:50

I don't understand why its even been parked on your land if its taxed and mot'd. Ask him to move it, now.

Original poster
PastryOnMyMind · 26/08/2017 10:51

would I be best writing a letter also? I don't know much about him, but the feeling I got off him when we asked about time scales tells me he won't be easy. would it be best to have it in writing?

OP posts:
TestTubeTeen · 26/08/2017 10:51

Your DH made a mistake in asking how long rather than telling.

Write a letter. 'Following your conversation with DH, we'd like to make it clear that we need our garden back within a week because we want to do some work on it now that our child is walking.

When we originally agreed for you to use it you mentioned it would be for two weeks, . We hope your Dd is enjoying her car and that the use of our drive / garden has been helpful.

But please make arrangements to move it by Date, Next Week when we will start work"

That is reasonable, not confrontational , and keep a copy. In tne date, if it is still there, get DH to go round and say 'sorry mate, we're starting work' and get help to push it into the street.

PigletJohn · 26/08/2017 10:52

Begin every conversation with the words "You remember you asked me in early May you could use our drive for two weeks? Two weeks are well gone now."

They want it to be your problem.

If they moan about it being a problem, say "Yes, I can see you've got a problem. What do you plan to do about this problem of yours?"

Don't smile.

Don't apologise

Don't give reasons why you want your garden back.

Don't say what you're going to do.

Don't give them x weeks.

Ask them when they're going to move it. If they say more than a week, say, oh dear, that's too long.