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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

neighbours car has been in my garden for 3 months

565 replies

PastryOnMyMind · 26/08/2017 10:14

first ever thread but I wanted some opinions from the outside

neighbours came to me in early May to ask if they can use our drive for two weeks, they bought their DD a car for her birthday as a surprise.
fair enough I thought no problem

the car is still there.

we don't want to cause tension with the neighbours because we all have to live here

my DD is 14 month and has just started to toddle so would like front garden back to make safe ( weeding, gates) for her to play in and I can sit on the door step whenever she wabts to venture outside.

we managed to catch him last week and told him we want to do our garden for DD (can't use back garden, subsided and v unsafe) and asked if he had an idea of when he was planning to shift his car

two months!!! we were quite shocked because he was very matter of fact, no apology etc and dp said "it's kind of taking the piss" and neighbour shrugged it off. it's the end of October...

aibu to want my garden back before October so I can let my DD run loose in her own space whilst we may still have sunny weather/ light evenings??
part of me feels selfish because we don't drive so don't have a car therefore a "drive way" in the literal meaning isn't needed. but our garden IS the drive way.

I'm quite timid and have no idea how to go about this whole situation so I was hoping some mumsnet opinions might help me figure out what to doGrin

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
piefacedClique · 27/08/2017 18:16

Well done OP

user1485639128 · 27/08/2017 18:18

Well done OP. You have done the right thing. Show them that they can't walk all over you

Wauden · 27/08/2017 18:19

You have every right to contact your landlord directly. It does not make sense for he agent/whoever it was who told you that.

It is the landlord's problem, landlord owns the land and property. It is not in the landlord's interest for this to escalate!

If landlord knew ASAP, I bet anything that the landlord would get it sorted.

Whinesalot · 27/08/2017 18:21

Good. Hopefully they will get their comeuppance.

Hope it doesn't get delayed if it's a busy night for them.

GirlInTheDirtyShirt · 27/08/2017 18:23

Just adding my support for OP here too. You took a brave step by calling the police. Woman up and stay strong. Think about what kind of example you want to set for your DD. Modelling strength, independence and resilience in the face of batshit neighbours is important. You've got this! (They sound like utter bullying cunts btw. But you're in the right here. They're relying on you being a doormat so they can get away with their behaviour. Don't give in to them!)

Lucysky2017 · 27/08/2017 18:27

The landlord should get it dealt with. They would want it removed, I'm sure other wise it might become some implied legal licence to stay for ever if they are not careful.
On public land our local council can be notified of abandoned cars - I did that about a taxi left for 3 weeks near us and it was removed. On private land I don't think it is so easy but still worth a try. You could of c ourse just get 4 strong relatives round to pick it up and carry it off your land in about 15 minutes probably.

Original poster
PastryOnMyMind · 27/08/2017 18:29

I really am the quietest and shyest person you'd ever meet. so it's taken a lot to do this.

as for my dp he is lovely and supportive and completely kind and caring. he does get mad, upset, like everyone else. I'm dealing with it in my own way because he's at work right now and if it was up to him he'd rather sort it between ourselves. dp isn't very confident but he's the first one to jump out and investigate if something bangs in the night
he'll run up and down the street if he hears a scream
he takes the dustoan out if there's glass on nearby roads so dogs don't cut their feet.
please don't slate him. he's doing the best he can for us.

OP posts:
Notreallyarsed · 27/08/2017 18:31

Pastry you don't need to justify yourself or your DP. You've done a very brave thing and have been treated appallingly by your horrible neighbours, I hope it all settles soon x

NurseButtercup · 27/08/2017 18:33
Flowers
Mummyoflittledragon · 27/08/2017 18:36

I hope you get it sorted. Well done for contacting the police.

Ontheboardwalk · 27/08/2017 18:37

pastry good on you for phoning. When they come round get the kettle on and tell them everything. Might be worth writing down what's happened or print out this thread before they come so it's clear in your head.

You don't have to justify you or your DP's behaviour to anyone. No one knows how they would behave around CFNs and unhinged people. It's not normal behaviour to be hammering on someone's door at 2 am.

Don't give what you or your DP could or should have done a 2nd thought just put on a united front against the CFs

EyesUnderARock · 27/08/2017 18:39

Pastry, I lived with a protective, assertive alpha male for the first 18 years of my life, then a few years on my own until I married someone with a similar personality to your husband. The relief and pleasure of living with a calm, gentle, non-territorial man who rarely raises his voice offsets the one or two times I've wished he was a berserker with an axe. I doubt you have ever been frightened of him.

ThedementedPenguin · 27/08/2017 18:43

Wow I cannot believe they have left it there for 2 months!! Hope you get it sorted easily

ImDoingLaundry · 27/08/2017 18:45

Pastry well done for phoning, better to sort it now than let them carry on.

Your partner sounds lovely, mine is similar. Just because other people would react differently doesn't mean that's what's best for you. Flowers

Hortonlovesahoo · 27/08/2017 18:46

Here's hoping they move the car. Good luck with the police officer and hopefully they'll get their arses moving to get it sorted.

I know how incredibly nerve-wracking it must be, but you've done nothing wrong and you were in the right!

Veterinari · 27/08/2017 18:53

Flowers Pastry, hope you get it sorted

DartmoorDoughnut · 27/08/2017 18:56

Pastry your DP sound lovely - as a dog owner thank you!

Glad someone is coming out, hope it's a peaceful night and the 999 option isn't needed

Serialweightwatcher · 27/08/2017 18:56

You've done a good deed and you know how the saying goes ... well done for contacting the police - people should not be able to get away with intimidating behaviour and making you uncomfortable, especially when you've been good to them. Time to put your foot down - good luck

Questioningeverything · 27/08/2017 18:58

Aw pastry. I hope the police visit soon. They need to take this seriously

Lana1234 · 27/08/2017 19:06

You and DP sound like lovely people. Sounds like the horrible neighbours took advantage of this. I've been there myself years ago and now I've learnt to firmly say no to doing favours for neighbours. Yours are nothing but bullies, well done for standing up and I hope the police take it seriously for you.

MammaTJ · 27/08/2017 19:10

Well done for phoning the police, in my experience, they are good at dealing with things like this!

Badweekjustgotworse · 27/08/2017 19:18

pastry sorry you're dealing with this and feeling afraid in your own home, your neighbours sounds like really horrible bullies.

I'm glad you've phoned 101 because now you can put the burden of responsibility for the situation and any escalation onto the polices shoulders and not carry around the fear and stress of it, that's what bullies rely on, that you're too scared to take action, now the police have been informed and you have a reference number all you have to do is call the if the bullies act again and it's the polices responsibility to deal with them.

Hope you have a peaceful evening

Leeds2 · 27/08/2017 19:20

I hope you get it sorted OP. Sounds an absolutely horrible position to be in.

annielouise · 27/08/2017 19:37

You did the right thing phoning the police. If you hadn't have then the bullies would see you as toothless and think they could harass you more. Scumbags!

The only response to people hammering your door at 2am and shouting the odds is "fuck off, i'm phoning the police".

DamsonGin · 27/08/2017 19:38

Nothing wrong with crying down the phone! Glad you called and someone is coming round. You both sound lovely, not everyone is cut out to be confrontational, or to know what to do in that sort of situation, and that's ok.

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