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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

neighbours car has been in my garden for 3 months

565 replies

PastryOnMyMind · 26/08/2017 10:14

first ever thread but I wanted some opinions from the outside

neighbours came to me in early May to ask if they can use our drive for two weeks, they bought their DD a car for her birthday as a surprise.
fair enough I thought no problem

the car is still there.

we don't want to cause tension with the neighbours because we all have to live here

my DD is 14 month and has just started to toddle so would like front garden back to make safe ( weeding, gates) for her to play in and I can sit on the door step whenever she wabts to venture outside.

we managed to catch him last week and told him we want to do our garden for DD (can't use back garden, subsided and v unsafe) and asked if he had an idea of when he was planning to shift his car

two months!!! we were quite shocked because he was very matter of fact, no apology etc and dp said "it's kind of taking the piss" and neighbour shrugged it off. it's the end of October...

aibu to want my garden back before October so I can let my DD run loose in her own space whilst we may still have sunny weather/ light evenings??
part of me feels selfish because we don't drive so don't have a car therefore a "drive way" in the literal meaning isn't needed. but our garden IS the drive way.

I'm quite timid and have no idea how to go about this whole situation so I was hoping some mumsnet opinions might help me figure out what to doGrin

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
TeachesOfPeaches · 27/08/2017 13:28

Greenkit the police are not going to care about a non-stolen car parked on a private driveway.

Gemini69 · 27/08/2017 13:31

if you do not call the Police OP... the car will NEVER be moved... they WON .. you are officially their doormat x

HeebieJeebies456 · 27/08/2017 13:33

Why can't you think for yourself?
WE don't have to put up with this - YOU do!
PHONE the police and get it reported!

Your DP is a spineless sod and doesn't give a shit about your dd's wellbeing - or yours. You keep making excuses for him.

First he made excuses as to why the car shouldn't be moved - whereas anyone with half a brain cell would know that the chances of getting burgled are higher if you have a car in the drive...
Then he says he doesn't want to cause issues with neighbours
Then he blames YOU for other peoples drunken behaviour
Now he buggers off to work without taking two seconds to check where his own card is

He's a wet lettuce and so far he isn't arsed about your dd having a garden to play in.

Call the police, get it sorted.

EyesUnderARock · 27/08/2017 13:34

It probably depends on where you live, Teaches Where I live now, the police would be interested and would drop round to discuss the aggressive behaviour with the neighbours, along with telling them what rights the op has over their dumping of a car. Firmly.
Where I lived before, the car would have to be on fire with a body in it and 1/2 k of cocaine spread around for them to give it a crime number.
Let's hope the op lives in the former sort of neighbourhood.

AlternativeTentacle · 27/08/2017 13:34

Pop a 'for sale £500 ono' sign on it.

TeachesOfPeaches · 27/08/2017 13:37

If OP pushes the car onto the road then the police have to deal with it as it is an obstruction.

rainbowduck · 27/08/2017 13:37

Hahaha Alternative I love that!

coriliavijvaad · 27/08/2017 13:39

Calling the police won't make it worse. The community policing team can come and have a friendly chat about how banging on doors at 2am is socially unacceptable. Dumping a car on a neighbour's land for 6 months when they agreed to 2 weeks is socially unacceptable, and they may want to start behaving more reasonably. They ought to be able to do this in a way that diffuses rather than inflames tensions - that's what they are trained for.

dataandspot · 27/08/2017 13:57

Your partner is a total doormat.

Berthatydfil · 27/08/2017 14:08

If you don't go to the police you are telling the cfn that if he wants to keep the car in the drive all he has to do is call round at 2am and mouth off, or worse.
If you go to the police it tells him that
A) calling round at 2am is unacceptable
B) reinforces that you're serious about him moving the car

Serialweightwatcher · 27/08/2017 14:09

You need to stick by what you said and yes, you need to contact the police - I am always amazed when I read posts on here of how disgustingly rude and advantage taking people can be, but they obviously can be and they do ... anyone who can ask for a favour for 2 weeks and still expect that favour 3 months later as it's their 'right' is a piece of work and shows what they are, so coming round at 2am to upset you, drunk, loud and rude is obviously how these idiots work and you shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable in your own home Flowers

Mummyme1987 · 27/08/2017 14:10

Love the for sale sign idea!

Gemini69 · 27/08/2017 14:15

OP... for your own sake and your DD sake.. you must do this today.. do not wait for your DP to come home at 11pm tonght ffs... this situation cannot get any worse... seriously..

you need to protect your property 'albeit rented' it's YOURS.. not theirs... YOURS x

VeryCunningStunt · 27/08/2017 14:23

^what a dramatic turn this has taken. didn't expect this at all*

It certainly escalated quickly Shock

GiraffesLikeToDance · 27/08/2017 14:24

They sound awful

user1485639128 · 27/08/2017 14:27

It's bank holiday so estate agents won't be open Monday surely

MimsyFluff · 27/08/2017 14:34

Fucking bastards! If I was your friend I'd be round on your front garden chopping fire wood for your new fire with my huge axe and my giant breed dog next to me his a softy they wouldn't dare nock on your door again but I'd be knocking on telling them to move the car right away and to not even look at you! I'm not an aggressive person but you have baby in the house!!!!

Call the police tell them you feared for yours and you DC safety. Where abouts are you if your local I'll pop round for a few hours.

Original poster
PastryOnMyMind · 27/08/2017 14:48

oh no I forgot it was bank holiday!!! Tuesday then.

in two minds about what to do, luckily a friend of ours is coming around dinner time to stay until dp gets home from work so I'm not completely alone

no word off them yet but I've been out at mils.

will keep you all updated on what I do etc
drama!Confused

OP posts:
AnotherOne1 · 27/08/2017 14:55

I know you said it's taxed, but is it insured? Put the vehicle reg in here:

ownvehicle.askmid.com/

If uninsured, the police will want to know. All vehicles must have insurance even if permanently parked (unless permanently kept in a garage - not a driveway).

HiggeldyPiggeldy · 27/08/2017 15:03

you do need to report this cfn, their behaviour last night was totally unacceptable, if you leave it they will continue to act in this way, if you do something it sends a clear message that you will not be verbally abused in your home

DamsonGin · 27/08/2017 15:10

Yes, call the police. I did for an aggressive neighbour and they've never bothered us since. I think if I hadn't they'd have felt they were in the right and I'd have been on eggshells.

Willow2017 · 27/08/2017 15:41

You are SCARED to be alone but you are still NOT SURE what to do?
Do you plan to spend your life elsewhere or have friends round all the time to protect you?

Sorry to be blunt but you need to take control of the situation, nobody else is going to do it for you.

How long do you want to live being scared in your own home?
How long should your DD be scared in her own home/unable to use her own driveway?
How long do you want that car in your drive?

Think its pretty obvious what to do.

Gemini69 · 27/08/2017 15:44

has the car been Moved yet OP ?

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 27/08/2017 15:54

Sympathies, OP, I hate this type of thing.
I'm wondering if you live near our old neighbour! We went on holiday and arranged 2 young girls from my work to move into our house while we were away to take care of our animals. I told ndn, and asked him to look out for them, in case they had any problems. Came back to find he had come round banging the door at 2 am to complain about the dog barking, despite the girls saying it wasn't , until he started his hammering! Apparently he was hugely aggressive, threatening to come in and kill the dog and terrifying the girls.
DH went to speak to him. He was all nicey nicey to DH, saying the dogs had been barking at times when the girls were out. Which really doesn't explain why he came round at 2am.
There was no way in he'll be would have behaved like that if he thought DH or I were home. He was happy to bully young girls though, the cowardly arsehole. Angry Don't let this arsehole bully you. You've done nothing wrong!! You've been doing the rest a favour, and this is how he repays you??! Get mad, stand up to him. He needs to know that behaviour won't be tolerated, so if you need to call the police to talk some sense into him, so be it. Good luck!

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 27/08/2017 16:01

You told them to move the car today. Has it been moved? I assume not.

All you have to do is call the police on 101 and tell them you are about to tell your neighbours to move their car off your property. You are afraid that they will become aggressive because of their reaction when you made a polite request. What would they advise you do?

They'll probably tell you to call them immediately if the neighbours get aggressive. Having called them already means they'll be out faster and you'll feel more comfortable about calling them again.

Whatever happens you can't let that car stay on your drive past the deadline you gave of tonight. If you do, then you've told them very very clearly that you can be easily bullied into anything and your demands and deadlines mean nothing. That will make your life worse. Much worse.