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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

neighbours car has been in my garden for 3 months

565 replies

PastryOnMyMind · 26/08/2017 10:14

first ever thread but I wanted some opinions from the outside

neighbours came to me in early May to ask if they can use our drive for two weeks, they bought their DD a car for her birthday as a surprise.
fair enough I thought no problem

the car is still there.

we don't want to cause tension with the neighbours because we all have to live here

my DD is 14 month and has just started to toddle so would like front garden back to make safe ( weeding, gates) for her to play in and I can sit on the door step whenever she wabts to venture outside.

we managed to catch him last week and told him we want to do our garden for DD (can't use back garden, subsided and v unsafe) and asked if he had an idea of when he was planning to shift his car

two months!!! we were quite shocked because he was very matter of fact, no apology etc and dp said "it's kind of taking the piss" and neighbour shrugged it off. it's the end of October...

aibu to want my garden back before October so I can let my DD run loose in her own space whilst we may still have sunny weather/ light evenings??
part of me feels selfish because we don't drive so don't have a car therefore a "drive way" in the literal meaning isn't needed. but our garden IS the drive way.

I'm quite timid and have no idea how to go about this whole situation so I was hoping some mumsnet opinions might help me figure out what to doGrin

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
RibenaMonsoon · 27/08/2017 06:45

That's insane! You cannot continue to facilitate these cheeky bastard. You have been more generous than most would have been letting them park there for months when it was agreed only a couple of weeks. They need to know that their behaviour was unacceptable. If you don't take action and call the police today it will set the standard going forward that they can just bully you whenever you don't do what they want. I hope you are all alright this morning. Flowers

rainbowduck · 27/08/2017 06:51

Omg!!! What did your letter say? Their reaction is totally OTT. Don't be intimidated, they are in the wrong and know it!

MrsOverTheRoad · 27/08/2017 06:59

I would honestly shove it out into the middle of the road.

That's what arsehole neighbour would do.

KatharinaRosalie · 27/08/2017 07:02

I know this sounds scary but you can't let them get away with this bullying, they will walk all over you for the rest of their lives. If you feel DH is too soft, ask some other neighbours to come outside at the time you're going over, to witness the discussion.

And the only message is that you agreed for 2 weeks. You want them to grab the keys and move the car RIGHT NOW.

gingerbeerd · 27/08/2017 07:34

Sorry they're acting like this, you've done nothing wrong. Hope you're ok OP xx

user997799779977 · 27/08/2017 07:36

This would make me mad and I'd get his car gone even sooner! An agreement? Tell him that 10 pounds is only for the agreed time and that's you being generous. Tell him you will be billing him if he does not get his car away from your garden! Oh I'm so mad for you OP. BE STRONG and dont get bullied!

KitKat1985 · 27/08/2017 08:02

Oh OP that's horrible. How dare they come around and shout at you at 2am in the morning and wake you all and your DD. And you did try and talk to them before putting the note though. It was them that decided not to answer their door to you. And it them being complete cheeky fuckers in the first place and taking the piss. You have done nothing wrong here OP.

DartmoorDoughnut · 27/08/2017 08:11

Oh you poor love Sad glad your DP apologised I guess the stress of having two lunatics on his doorstep made him forget himself!

You have done nothing wrong, they're trying to intimidate you, they just need to move their car from your property FFS! Plus the 'agreement' was for weeks not months! If you're near Exeter I'll happily pop over and sit in your garden for moral support - I would say in the house but I'm mid potty training DS1 so think garden is safer!

meltingmarshmallows · 27/08/2017 08:19

Poor you! They're trying to distract from the issue and bully you. Totally unacceptable and I agree, I'd call 101 as this isn't on at all. And where will it end if not dealt with? They clearly think they can intimidate you into getting their own way.

IrritatedUser1960 · 27/08/2017 08:21

You don't have to explain anything to your neighbour just ask them to move the car immediately as you need to use your garden.

jellybeanteaparty · 27/08/2017 08:34

How are your other neighbours ? Perhaps you need to get their support. Tempting to find a spare car to park on their driveway??! Have you photographed the car and their house (Both these would wind them up further so perhaps not at the moment)
Make sure you keep a record of all the interactions, times and what was said. I would ask the police for some advice and to log the 2.00 a.m abusive visit.
If you move the car make sure 1. you don't damage it and 2. access to your drive is blocked. Keep going, they are not behaving in a reasonable way but you still need too. It is reasonable to want access to your own drive.It is reasonable to ask them to move their car. Good luck

SusieOwl4 · 27/08/2017 08:50

Do make sure as other posters said you write everything down. What was said and times etc. I really feel for you. But you are in the right. Hold your head high . They should be ashamed not you .

I can understand how it is scary though .

Hope things improve over the next few days .

KeiraKnightleyActsWithHerTeeth · 27/08/2017 08:52

Blimey!
If I were you I would knock on your nice neighbour's door this morning and say something like
"I'm sure you heard the fuss last night and wanted to apologise. Xyz asked to store their car for their daughter on our drive for two weeks in May and obviously time has rather rolled along. We asked them to move it and they refused to do so until October. I was overwhelmed by that but decided that as I want to sort out the garden for baby it would need to move ASAP and put a note through their door yesterday evening. As you probably heard, they came aggressively banging on the door at 2am. I'm sorry if they woke you up too, it was really scary and I felt very threatened by the situation. I don't feel safe here."

Bovneydazzlers · 27/08/2017 09:01

Poor you, what a nasty piece of work.
I'd call 101 and get some police to talk to him, I know you're worried about escalation but if he can't get away with thinking he can bully you and intimidate you with no repercussions, he will do it again (and not move his damn car).

Original poster
PastryOnMyMind · 27/08/2017 09:03

hi all, managed 4 hours sleep and DD is being an angel considering she was up at 2am and didn't sleep much after.

im absolutely fucking livid now. not scared. how DARE they come to my home. wake my baby, shout at my partner, talk shit about me and this agreement at 2am over this.

the letter I sent said
"hi, tried contacting you twice today.
the car you've parked on our drive way since May needs to be moved from the property by Sunday night at the latest. thanks"
signed off as our house number.

spoke to dp this morning and apparently, this is what happened
the man knocked on our door. DP told him to quieten down because DD asleep. he said "I know. where is she where's pastry."
told him I was upstairs with DD and he was about to leave then his wife came up the drive guns blazing. which made the man kick off more as his wife is huge and was quite vocal. their 18yo DD was at the end of the drive way watching
it's embarrassing. they have grand children and think it's acceptable to act like that.

my plan today is to go to MIL house and call 101 for advice. hoping for log number so if they come back whilst dp isn't here they'll be straight round.

it's the wife who seems to be the biggest issue.

funny isn't it? how people can be all "oh yes we owe you a cup of sugar! oh are gardner and cleaner and look how posh we are" then come and wake a baby at 2am.

I hope they're ashamed of themselves. a d if they're not then I hope they enjoy finding a new place for their car and I hope it' up their arse.

will ask NDN if he knows much of them. he's lovely and usually outside so will try to catch him this morning.

thank you all so much for the support. what a drama my first thread is unfolding into!

OP posts:
Veterinari · 27/08/2017 09:03

Definitely contact police

You have done nothing wrong and your DP was a spineless areshole.
Flowers

misdee · 27/08/2017 09:09

You did nothing wrong. Your note was perfectly acceptable.

Hope they move the car and this is the end of it

placemark123 · 27/08/2017 09:11

That is so, so awful, definitely call the police! Completely outrageous.

CandleWithHair · 27/08/2017 09:12

Oh Pastry that's awful!
I'm so glad you've woken up and found your anger, you have no need to be scared of these pathetic morons. Getting drunk and trying to terrorise a young family at 2am! Please do call 101, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by the police's reaction.
Absolutely get the wheels in motion to have the car removed if they don't, and getting your other NDNs on side. These twats don't sound like they'll have many friends.

I hope your DP has woken feeling similarly angered by the right people this time, and has given you a big apology for his initial reaction.

chocolateworshipper · 27/08/2017 09:12

Definitely call 101. I did the same when a neighbour was being aggressive towards me and they were honestly great about it. They warned him to stay away from me and gave me an incident number to quote if I ever had any problems at all with him. So far he has stayed away and that was around a year ago.

Neverknowing · 27/08/2017 09:15

That's disgusting op! How dare they at 2am I would be LIVID especially if they woke up the baby. Let us know how calling the police goes. I'm honestly so angry for you.
I'm quite petty and would be leaving the car there but putting up a penguin bollard so they can't get it out when they do want it. They think it's okay to inconvenience you so you could do the same but tbh it's biting your nose off to spite your face 😂

Whinesalot · 27/08/2017 09:15

This would make me even more determined not to do them the favour. But I can understand how scary it is. Obviously you can't back down now. It was a perfectly reasonable request.

Dragongirl10 · 27/08/2017 09:17

OP so sorry you are having this problem...but go and get a solicitor to write a letter stipulating the legal position and reiterating they nned to move the car byX or it will be removed and you will be recovering costs from them.this will drag on for ages else

Please do this ASAP

Original poster
PastryOnMyMind · 27/08/2017 09:21

was hoping my estate agent will help but closed until Monday. they're up and awake. i just waved my DP off to work. will be heading out in an hour and I'll keep you informed.
if they come back my phone will be on record in my pocket. I'm on the defensive now as it's just me here to protect DD.
I hope best scenario is that they were drunk and are embarrassed. though I feel that won't be the case.
bastards. still shaking but not with fear with actual anger. I can't believe want g my own drive back has caused such a stir that they felt the need to discuss it at 2am

OP posts:
thegirlupnorth · 27/08/2017 09:22

They sound horrific. Definitely involve police.

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