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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

neighbours car has been in my garden for 3 months

565 replies

PastryOnMyMind · 26/08/2017 10:14

first ever thread but I wanted some opinions from the outside

neighbours came to me in early May to ask if they can use our drive for two weeks, they bought their DD a car for her birthday as a surprise.
fair enough I thought no problem

the car is still there.

we don't want to cause tension with the neighbours because we all have to live here

my DD is 14 month and has just started to toddle so would like front garden back to make safe ( weeding, gates) for her to play in and I can sit on the door step whenever she wabts to venture outside.

we managed to catch him last week and told him we want to do our garden for DD (can't use back garden, subsided and v unsafe) and asked if he had an idea of when he was planning to shift his car

two months!!! we were quite shocked because he was very matter of fact, no apology etc and dp said "it's kind of taking the piss" and neighbour shrugged it off. it's the end of October...

aibu to want my garden back before October so I can let my DD run loose in her own space whilst we may still have sunny weather/ light evenings??
part of me feels selfish because we don't drive so don't have a car therefore a "drive way" in the literal meaning isn't needed. but our garden IS the drive way.

I'm quite timid and have no idea how to go about this whole situation so I was hoping some mumsnet opinions might help me figure out what to doGrin

OP posts:
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6
ChaChaChaCh4nges · 27/08/2017 02:00

That's horrible. Hot sweet tea for the shock. Deal with it in the morning. Try to sleep once DD is settled.

Original poster
PastryOnMyMind · 27/08/2017 02:03

I can't stop crying. I hate conflict but never thought it would get a drunk angry couple slamming the door at 2am.
I'm only in my v early 20s and 5ft tall, these people are in their late 40s and much taller than me my partner works til 11pm most nights
I'm so scared.

OP posts:
HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 27/08/2017 02:06

I'm not usually one to say this but I would ring 111 or 101 (sorry am overseas and can't remember which is the right one)

I'm glad you have DP with you Flowers

HistoriaTrixie · 27/08/2017 02:08

I'm also overseas so less help but yes, 101 I think is the way to go. You poor thing! Take some tea and some deep breaths. Brew Flowers

Curlyhepburn · 27/08/2017 02:16

Bloody hell!
There is no "ask when you might move it" it should have been "i want the car off my property asap and no more than 24 hours" tell dont ask

Willow2017 · 27/08/2017 02:27

What else did your dp say to them?
Did he back you up about moving the car?
Did he say yes but the agreement was 2 weeks not 5 months?

Hmmalittlefishy · 27/08/2017 02:33

Poor you op. I hope dd has settled now. Deep breath and a cup of tea.
The doors are locked and your dh is there so you are fine.
Hopefully you can calmly talk to them tomorrow once they sober up.
It will be worth it in the end to have a lovely garden for your dd to play in
Sleep well

justilou1 · 27/08/2017 02:36

Definitely not out of order to call the police if they have come over at this time of day, drunk and abusive.

Yes you had an agreement. It was for two weeks. It's been months.

These people are monsters and can't get away with this kind of behaviour. Call the police!!!!

Crashbangwhatausername · 27/08/2017 02:37

But they were in all day? I think I would call the police if someone came round threatening at nearly 2am

ohtheholidays · 27/08/2017 02:43

Give the Police a ring,I promise you this is something they would deal with,they're fucking bullies and bullies only ever get what they want when people stay quiet!

I wish I lived near you I'd make the nasty arseholes move they're fucking car! Please don't let they're behaviour make you feel bad or regret standing up for yourself,it's taken them being drunk and trying to gang up on you to find they're balls,you posted that letter hours ago and it was very polite and they couldn't pull themselves together to even answer the door to you. Flowers

QuestionableMouse · 27/08/2017 03:00

Ugh the evil fuckers.

Right what you do now is phone 101 first thing in the morning and report the car as abandoned. It's on your land and you want it gone. No more fucking about. Tell the police about your neighbours horrible behaviour while you're on the phone. I knew they wouldn't be reasonable about it.

QuestionableMouse · 27/08/2017 03:03

Whoops actually thinking about it, you may have to report it to your local council. If you search 'reporting an abandoned car' you should be able to find the link.

Plipplops · 27/08/2017 03:07

That's terrible, please don't let this put you off being assertive, you absolutely did the right thing writing the note.

It's not ok to be treated like this. Do not give in to them, that car needs to be moved one way or the other. I'd second calling the non-emergency police number just to report.

Sending hugs xxxxx

Original poster
PastryOnMyMind · 27/08/2017 03:08

I'm still in tears. dp stuck up for me infront of them but now he's blaming me for wanting warden back and said I should of just left it
he said by to call police or 101 as it'll make it all worse
I feel like I've failed as a person and a mother. I just want it all to go away I don't think I can face leaving the house again I didn't know they were like that. j thought they'd come round bu5 not threatening us at 2am
I feel so lost

OP posts:
Gribbie · 27/08/2017 03:12

You have not failed at all. You've done nothing wrong. Xx

Plipplops · 27/08/2017 03:13

He needs to support you, not blame you. You're trying to get somewhere for your daughter to play, your neighbours are awful awful people.

Try and get some sleep, there's not much you can do now. Please remember you've not done anything wrong here. At all.

outputgap · 27/08/2017 03:14

God almighty. Maybe your DP wants to let them have your living room too?

How dare they come around?

But, fuck them, Pastry. Don't let their savage rudeness get to you. They sound like total scum. Watch some silly tv and go to bed.

QuestionableMouse · 27/08/2017 03:17

Your DP is being an arse and should be supporting you. Don't worry about the morning... Sounds like they have to be in their cups to confront you so I bet they won't say anything when they're sober. Phone 101 in the morning and tell them the full story. They can advise you the best way to proceed. If they're anything like my local force, they'll pay your neighbours a visit for a chat.

Try to go to sleep now. It can be sorted. You have done nothing wrong and I'm proud of you for standing up to these bullies!

brummiesue · 27/08/2017 03:19

Please calm down and don't catastrophise this. They are clearly a pair of arseholes! If I were you I would ring 111 to log it and see what they say, they may send someone round in the morning for a word and who knows the neighbours may be hungover and remorseful.
You need to have a stern word with you DH and tell him to grow a pair and stick up for his family. If the police arent willing to intervene he needs to go round tmrw and a) demand the car is moved and b) roast them for terrifying you and your daughter. Good luck Smile

Original poster
PastryOnMyMind · 27/08/2017 03:21

thank you all. sat with a hot chocolate dp apologised for blaming me and realises I was trying to do what's best for us think it was just the shock and stress of having two drunks wanting a fight at 2am on or door step.

I'm going to MILS first thing tomorrow when do goes to work so will contact police there as don't want them to see anybody coming to the house in case they kick off again as it's just me and DD from 9am until 11pm tomorrow.

what a dramatic turn this has taken. didn't expect this at all

OP posts:
SenecaFalls · 27/08/2017 03:39

Stay strong, Pastry. Just remember you are in the right. And people on here literally from all over the world (I'm in the States) are on your side. Flowers

Ontheboardwalk · 27/08/2017 04:00

Pastry hope you're ok. You've done nothing wrong, try not to let them bully and upset you.

Try and get a rest but, as other people have said, do speak to your DP tomorrow and say he has to support you and ring 101

Raindancer411 · 27/08/2017 04:12

I would defiantly contact 101 for advice and if they knock on the door at that time again, call the police. They don't sound like nice people so moving car is best. If you fear for safety and they do it again, it maybe they need an order against them

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 27/08/2017 04:41

They're arseholes. I think you have to stay strong on this or they'll think they can bully you to do whatever the fuck they want.

flumpybear · 27/08/2017 06:29

They're bullies - call non emergency police number tomorrow and tell them exactly what happened and the reasons behind it I'm sure they'll tell them it's unacceptable and to move their car - albeit a civil matter this is leaning towards abusive and threatening behaviour which is illegal

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