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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fed up of Instamums

999 replies

Hmmmmx100 · 25/08/2017 22:56

I followed a few of the more well-known Instamums but got weary of the constant daily barrage of brand endorsements. I can't relate to people on £100k a year in Farrow & Ball houses. I just can't. So I had to unfollow em all, every one. AIBU to feel a bit miffed that these people are using the idea of sisterhood to make money? They're not our friends, they're just there to sell us stuff that we probably don't need anyway.

OP posts:
langkaw · 02/09/2017 21:48

Why hello Pukka. I'm going to be one of those arse smoke blowers I criticised earlier and say that you did actually make me laugh out loud on your stories earlier.

allaboardtheallergybus · 02/09/2017 21:52

I thought #ad was when they were paid to promote something do bloggers have to declare if they've been given something for free? Because of the ones I follow there doesn't seem to be much of that going on

Fairylea · 02/09/2017 21:53

MoD only has 10 "ads" on there because as others have said I think a lot of the ads aren't even hashtagged. I'm sure most of the holidays they've been on recently have been ads. (Willing to be corrected if I'm wrong!) Plus she mostly uses instastories so everything is deleted quickly. I have to be honest and say I don't really care, I have a soft spot for MoD for some reason. I just like her. I think I want her hair and lipstick collection. Grin But I do think a lot of her stuff are ads, even if not labelled as such.

lmarie31 · 02/09/2017 21:53

As Mothers (or Fathers) I think you should all be a little ashamed of yourselves. It's one think to have a discussion about how public figures promote a product / get paid for #ada and to question the sincerity of like something whilst being paid to say so, but it's a completely different thing to criticise someone's spelling, facial expressions, "moaning", dress code, whether they were offered food bank vouchers etc.
None of those things are relavent to the original topic at all. If one of your precious children came home and said another child was picking on them / making their day miserable because of the way they look or the way they spell, you'd all be pretty fucked off. The irony hurts my head!!
Now, you all seem like a pretty intelligent punch of people's, so you are most probably aware that there something in this world that are made to look better than reality. If mother of 8 or MOD etc post a photo of one of their beautiful children and the little one is immaculate and very well dressed, we all know that is not a 24 hour occupancy and the photo has been "dressed" to look as perfect as it can. This type of thing applied to EVERYTHING your tiny minds see EVERYWHERE. Facebook, Twitter, newspapers, TV, Film, Instagram, billboards and I'm sorry to break it to you buteven the adverts on MumsNet!! Just because someone like Mother of 8 has created beautiful pictures, does not mean "she makes out she perfect! Therefore if she makes a spelling mistake I'm going to let that bitch know"!
Can everyone step away from their keyboards and just think about that for a moment?!
Can you honestly (I mean honestly) say you've never moved something from the back ground of a photo before taking it? Or added a flash, or a filter? Or wipes your little darlings face before pressing click?!
🙄🙄🙄

BubbleAnimal · 02/09/2017 21:55

Allaboard I don't follow blogs so I don't know. I do know from following a few YouTube accounts it is a grey area though. I follow a lot who make a point of saying when they've received anything for money, or free, or when they've purchased a brand themselves. And I respect that. I'd rather know someone buys lush products for themselves because they really believe in them, than not know they were being sent stuff for free and just paying lip service. And the social media community seems 50/50 on that as well. What constitutes advertising because it's a freebie, as opposed to paid for content?

langkaw · 02/09/2017 21:56

Sigh: you seem to forget that this is a discussion involving lots of different people and viewpoints. It is inevitable that someone will find something someone has said offensive. That is the nature of discussion.

Badmotherpukka · 02/09/2017 21:57

I'm not everyone's cup of tea. Someone even told my mum they thought I was 'properly cringe' the other day. Bang on the money. Others find our stuff helps raise a flicker of a smile in a PND fun. But I am more worried about online bullying of my kids. I don't think the often-spoken-of sisterhood looks to gloss over everything. I think every person who writes something online knows when it's mean and when it's opinion. Opinion is, as I said above, everything.

langkaw · 02/09/2017 21:57

So no, I will not step away from the keyboard and ponder your words of wisdom and what we do and don't realise.

FuckingLoveCarbs · 02/09/2017 21:58

I've seen at least three of the accounts mentioned here say fairly insulting things about various celebrities.

If you put yourself in the public eye then I'm sorry, but you will get talked about. If you don't like it then make your account private!

Mumsytomy · 02/09/2017 21:59

Imarie- I do get what you are saying. And the trouble is comments in black and white can look far harsher (and I guess stay forever) than if you have a chat and just say 'oh god it's all so perfect' but she seems lovely. From that perspective it may seem like it's terrible to comment about someone's posts, but I think the host is the crafted careful pictures of serene perfection do not match the words beneath them, often. Maybe that's just an observation and to be fair that lady is quite gushy.

allaboardtheallergybus · 02/09/2017 22:00

I think this is an interesting point as I'm not sure where the rules about advertising apply but I believe (according to a quick check with my mate whose a semi blogger) if they've been paid to advertise the product they have to by law #ad or #spon if it's gifted but they haven't been asked to advertise it then its entirely at their discretion but if they've been gifted something in return for a mention/post then they should say. I think like you said grey area

FuckingLoveCarbs · 02/09/2017 22:01

I'm sorry to break it to you buteven the adverts on MumsNet!!

Oh no!!!! Are you serious?!? I thought all ads on mumsnet reflected real life!!

🙄

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 02/09/2017 22:02

As Mothers ? and there it is.... Hmmlaying a tiny trail of guilt trip to fall over.

Badmotherpukka · 02/09/2017 22:06

I know, it was a rubbish post. I would have unfollowed reading it back. I think that's the thing; we get it wrong. All the time. We all do. I uploaded it in a knackered fug and was angry at having messed up Mae's school. I didn't think. No excuse but that's why social media is good in places. I got rightly taken down for that and hopefully it educated a few others along the way.

FuckingLoveCarbs · 02/09/2017 22:08

I'm really glad you can admit that! Many of the others can't :)

allaboardtheallergybus · 02/09/2017 22:08

I just think when you get personal about appearances and such it deviates from what this thread was really about. Like I said it must be awful to be spoken about on such a massive thread I really hope Suzie (sp?) and MOD and the others aren't letting the nasty comments get them down and I really hope they're sensible enough not to read this thread I don't understand why you don't comment on their posts on Instagram rather than assuming what you will on here? It feels a bit school playground

Mothervulva · 02/09/2017 22:09

Goodness things have moved on...
I don't even know who Greg thingy is, nevermind is girlfriend.

langkaw · 02/09/2017 22:09

Yes Pukka. You come across as having humility and are open to discussing why instamumming can in some cases get people's backs up.

instanonsista · 02/09/2017 22:09

I'm an instagrammer, not a mum. I wouldn't believe half the things you think they're getting paid for.

FuckingLoveCarbs · 02/09/2017 22:10

What about Susie dismissing the whole of MN as a horrible negative place when a) she clearly hasn't read the thread and b) she completely ignores the many people who get brilliant support here?

Badmotherpukka · 02/09/2017 22:10

I'll take what I can get. I got an offer of a threesome with my mum today.

Mumsytomy · 02/09/2017 22:10

At the end of the day, people talk about madonna or Katie Price or Kerry Katona or anyone in the public eye. It's not unmotherly (or unfatherly) it's simply what happens. Many of those opinions differ. Some instagrammers have been propelled into a kind of fame. Why should people be ashamed of talking about the children being used in ads or the brands the people promote. It's a two way thing. They rely on followers to get their money, the followers can talk about what is presented to them.

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 02/09/2017 22:11

I thought #ad was when they were paid to promote something do bloggers have to declare if they've been given something for free?

When I was doing it, if it was a sponsored post (so I was being paid) I'd say "This is a paid article in collaboration with [company]" and use #spon. If it was an item I'd been sent, I'd just put a disclaimer in the blog post - "We received this item/holiday/service free of charge from [company] in exchange for an honest review", and no #spon or #ad in the hashtags.

langkaw · 02/09/2017 22:11

Sorry but out 900 odd posts I can't remember any posts about people's looks. There were a couple on spelling. It's hardly school playground just because you don't agree.

Erm...you can't say anything remotely critical on anyone's Instagram posts as that makes you #jealous #haterz

Badmotherpukka · 02/09/2017 22:14

I used to work for Mumsnet before doing Mother Pukka so I know how it can help and I have since found my answer for helping Poo Pukka along. Finger up the bum and prune juice.