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Original poster

dd is only going to use gender neutral stuff for her dd?

604 replies

ioliverielinor · 24/08/2017 17:00

hiya,

just looking for views really. is this the new modern parenting? dd2 is expecting a dd herself and has said she would only like gender neutral gifts, i was a bit upset because i think there are some lovely girls clothes, i said will she never put her in dresses, she says no. im a bit surprised really, but yet she is happy to have her hair long, etc.??

just curious if this is the norm now? i have never really heard of it before, dd1 has 3 dc different genders and never had an issue buying them boys and girls items.

im not judging, but think its slightling strange? aibu?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
HorridHenryrule · 24/08/2017 20:06

Blokes can wear pink and look manly. There's pink shorts, pink t-shirts, pink shirts and pink suits.

crazypenguinlady · 24/08/2017 20:09

My son is 6 months old. He wears mostly blue. The reason for that is he has huuuuuuge blue eyes and wearing blue brings them out even more, he gets tons of compliments on his eyes. He also has some red, green and yellow in his wardrobe. We kept the sex a surprise as if he were a girl, I really didn't want everything pink and frilly and frouncy. All of the big stuff (bouncer/highchair etc) are all gender neutral so it can be used for a future child regardless of if we have a girl or another boy. All of his Toys, playmate, etc are gender neutral. The only 'boys' toy he has for when he's a bit older is a tool box set but that's because my dad is a builder Grin therefore i wouldve bought it for a girl as well. It used to bug me when people couldn't believe I didn't want to find out the sex so I 'could be prepared ' Hmm I love babies in white, cream, yellow, mint green so wasn't an issue and would have done the same if we had found out, and I still but him plain white babygrows now.

I went to buy a gift for a friend who recently had a girl. Could not believe the absolute sea of pink, and froo-froo type of clothes.

InvisibleKittenAttack · 24/08/2017 20:09

EssentialHummus - that's the sort of stuff we bought for DC1 - who turned out to be a boy, but we didnt' knw what we were getting! DC2 also was a surprise, turned out to be a girl, but as we hadn't bothered with a sea of boy clothes, it didn't really matter.

For summer, with a DD who's walking and using a normal car seatbelt with booster seat, dresses are pretty practical (as long as they arent' too long and are t'shirt material so they don't need ironing). But for babies, there's a lot to be said for putting them all in babygrows for the first 6 months

scatterolight · 24/08/2017 20:11

It's very on trend now OP. Silly women falling hook, line and sinker for the new virtue signalling orthodoxy of "gender neutral" bollocks. All so they can demonstrate their ideological purity to the other progressive mums down at baby sensory.

Who gives a fuck what it does to the children? But still we wonder why there's been a massive surge in transgender kids. It's a mystery how children robbed of the basic touchstones of self identity grow up confused and rudderless. Searching for some scrap of direction in a society that has decided it is the highest virtue to abandon them to work it all out for themselves.

Perfectly1mperfect · 24/08/2017 20:12

Lweji

I definitly don't have different expectations. As for society, I don't really let anyone make my decisions for me, so no. What should I think my son or daughter are expected or not expected to do in particular for their gender ?

Photomummy16 · 24/08/2017 20:13

Hmm the way I understand 'gender neutral' is that girls and boys alike should be encouraged to play with dolls and cars; dance and play fight; get muddy in the dirt and pick flowers; wear pink dungarees and blue dinosaur t shirts.
I feel that making your child wear a certain set of copies and calling it gender neutral is just as restrictive as only wearing pink.

Lweji · 24/08/2017 20:14

But still we wonder why there's been a massive surge in transgender kids.

Bollocksl.

Transgenderism is not triggered by gender neutrality. On the contrary. It's triggered by gender stereotypes. As in: if you like frilly things you are a girl and not a boy, and if you prefer sports and trousers you are a boy and not a girl.

Long live gender neutrality. It might actually solve most of the current transgender issues.

Lweji · 24/08/2017 20:15

As for society, I don't really let anyone make my decisions for me, so no. What should I think my son or daughter are expected or not expected to do in particular for their gender ?

Not for you. The expectations that society places on your children. From their relatives to the first time they go to school.

formerbabe · 24/08/2017 20:15

Personally I think babies should be mainly in babygros until they are walking. Regardless of whether you have a boy or girl, it's just so much easier, comfortable and more practical. I found "proper outfits" be it a dress or jeans and a shirt, a faff!

Turquoise0wl · 24/08/2017 20:16

I absolutely agree with @Lweji

SpaghettiAndMeatballs · 24/08/2017 20:16

Who gives a fuck what it does to the children? But still we wonder why there's been a massive surge in transgender kids. It's a mystery how children robbed of the basic touchstones of self identity grow up confused and rudderless

What the hell are you on about? My dad was born in the 60s, and him and his brothers and sisters all wore dresses until they were about 3 - they're all still as manly as any other bloke.

I only wore skirts under protest, and only own one dress for weddings now, happily do a mixture of masculine and feminine hobbies and have two lovely kids - one loves pink and sparkly, one couldn't care less - and they're both boys.

Gender nonsense is pushed on these kids, just let them figure out what they want to wear, and what they like for themselves.

Batteriesallgone · 24/08/2017 20:17

Are the kids transing now the ones born in the 90s, which was the peak of this gender-specific crappy attitude?

So a surge in transing kids is proof that pink=girl blue=boy is damaging.

Hopefully we've reached peak trans madness and the push back to gender neutral baby clothes is part of that.

DJBaggySmalls · 24/08/2017 20:17

scatterolight
Lego were gender neutral back in the early 1970's. So were many 70's clothes and toys. Its not new, its been a thing in Scandanavian countries for decades. They havent had a high number of transgender people, quite the opposite.

Its people who enforce rigid gender stereotypes that trans their kids. Like Christians who cant accept their child might be gay.

Penhacked · 24/08/2017 20:18

Well for us that would have lasted precisely 18 months. Dd has her own very decided opinions on bags and shoes already!! It is all about her wellies and flowery gilet in mid summer!! I think it is sad that female fashion, something essentially developed by women, is now also off limits.

sunglassally · 24/08/2017 20:18

@scatterolight

So sad that parents can decide this for their children before they can decide for themselves.

It seems to be fashionable and on trend, but WTF?

It is ridiculous at birth age anyway. I blame the parents, the babies haven't a clue what to think!

Fad. Fashionable, and so on. FGS.

Will someone think of the children!

mmmmnuts · 24/08/2017 20:20

Exactly, batteriesallgone. Sorry scatterolight but your post really made no sense.

Lweji · 24/08/2017 20:21

I think it is sad that female fashion, something essentially developed by women, is now also off limits

Have you looked at who leads fashion design? Grin

Perfectly1mperfect · 24/08/2017 20:23

Lweji

I don't think my relatives have different expectations of my children. How do you mean school ?

Circumlocutor · 24/08/2017 20:26

Personally I think babies should be mainly in babygros until they are walking. Regardless of whether you have a boy or girl, it's just so much easier, comfortable and more practical. I found "proper outfits" be it a dress or jeans and a shirt, a faff!

My DS nearly 2 before he started walking. He would have looked ridiculous in a babygro.

MiddleEnglandLives · 24/08/2017 20:27

It's about time the ridiculous levels of gender stereotyping, as expressed in clothes and toys for the last 20 years or so, was challenged. Babies are not bloody clothes horses there to satisfy the parents love of adornment. They need practical comfortable stuff that they can fall over and get dirty.

Thank goodness, rationality makes a comeback.

Lweji · 24/08/2017 20:27

Perfectly1mperfect

You should look it up.

For example: www.theguardian.com/science/occams-corner/2013/dec/09/gender-stereotypes-schools-children-choices

At some point it's expected that boys will do better at maths, and girls at social stuff, for example.

Girls often grow up with expectations that they will be mothers and love children. Boys with the expectation that they will be good at sports, or earn money.

You then see the different expectations when fathers are commended for changing a nappy and mothers have to justify returning to work.

MiddleEnglandLives · 24/08/2017 20:27

fall over in

Lweji · 24/08/2017 20:28

I don't think my relatives have different expectations of my children.

Can you say hand on heart that they don't have different expectations between you and your husband?

LesbianBadger · 24/08/2017 20:29

I didn't put my girls in dresses because they are totally impractical for babies and children.

Cute baby gros of any colour are the way forward for tiny babies and leggings and tshirts for crawlers.

Disastronaut · 24/08/2017 20:29

"I'm surprised she didn't pick a gender neutral [name] too"

Of course you're judging her! Your posts are all head-shake-silly-girl-with-her-modern-notions.

She's your daughter, get on board with what she wants, be happy that she doesn't want to cram her newborn into a mess of frills and glitter.

Gender neutral doesn't mean grey and beige. It means orange, green and purple, and sometimes even pink and blue.

Your grand-daughter will have years to be constrained by notions of what she should be like as a female. Let her have a year or two of it not mattering.