dd is only going to use gender neutral stuff for her dd?

[ioliverielinor]

hiya,

just looking for views really. is this the new modern parenting? dd2 is expecting a dd herself and has said she would only like gender neutral gifts, i was a bit upset because i think there are some lovely girls clothes, i said will she never put her in dresses, she says no. im a bit surprised really, but yet she is happy to have her hair long, etc.??

just curious if this is the norm now? i have never really heard of it before, dd1 has 3 dc different genders and never had an issue buying them boys and girls items.

im not judging, but think its slightling strange? aibu?

I've got a friend who dresses her daughter in gender neutral clothes from Frugi to Jools Oliver Little Bird range to character clothing - and it doesn't seem or look strange at all. Her daughter always looks really cool and bright - its definitely gone beyond dull beiges and white !

It seems to be a norm these days, and isn't an uncommon concept.

Sunglassally - and dungarees are better for crawling in. And dungarees and trousers don't get all bunched up and uncomfortable looking in 5 point baby car seat/buggy harnesses. Do you not think baby girls look cute in dungarees too? cute and practical for boys, cute and impractical for girls.

Plus buy all again when you have a boy for your DC2, because heaven forbid you buy clothes that are suitable for hand-me-downs for both genders...

Sod that.

I have two moments in my son's childhood that I frequently regret. One was when he picked out some girls' glitter shoes to wear and I said, 'no, sorry lovely, those are girls' shoes.'

To those who think that lack of gender differentiation is the reason for people being transgender, you may like to wonder that if either sex were allowed to act as they desired, and if there was true parity between the sexes, then maybe being transgender would not be an issue?

Of course there are more people coming out as being transgender now - because it is (thank goodness) becoming more accepted. Just like being gay has become in the last however many years. And then there is tranvestite people - a category that might not exist if boys and girls were allowed to dress as they liked.

Nothing wrong with being gender neutral. DS has a lot of neutral clothes but also a lot of blue as it happens to be my favourite colour and makes up about 75% of my wardrobe too. Even when he is in head to foot blue he is still mistaken for a girl though, can't remember the last time a stranger correctly guessed he was a boy. Not sure what is going on there!

Perfectly1mperfect

My parents didn't limit me either, but I still notice stereotypes and how they limit people around us.

It's still also sad for men when it's assumed that early years teaching and nursing are mainly for women.
And how women are constantly asked how they reconcile work and children, but men aren't.

Oh dear,

Any voice or post that is not right on and PC is verboten. OK. Thanks.

I like girls in dresses, boys in trousers what's the problem here?

Maybe if it is reversed it can lead to feeling that one would want to transgender, even at six months old!

This is totally ridiculous. And we are being brainwashed into thinking girls cannot be girls, neither can boys be boys.

But I reckon the majority of parents are not into this gender neutral thing at all. It is a total fad and fashionable. For a while. But I don't agree with it at all. Neither do most normal and intelligent people either.

It is a meme, a fad, and it will end in tears.

My sister and her wife did this, and we all respected their wishes, but now, hilariously, everything is pink and cutesy because that is what their daughter loves!

Oh I forgot, it is fashionable to support this transgender shyte from birth. Babies can't say anything about it, so it is command and control.

Sorryyyyy.. Well I am not really, I think you are all nuts.

Hmm. It can't be that nice under that bridge. Get out and catch some sun. You'll feel better.

Neither do most normal and intelligent people either.

School uniform is an issue, at our school at least.

DD has to wear a kilt-style skirt (no pin) from the uniform shop. The length comes in short or very short. No pockets.

DS has to wear trousers (which are much cheaper, have pockets, and we can buy from many different shops to fit him and his preferences, as well as our budget).

DD is allowed to wear earrings and discreet nail polish. DS isn't.

The regulation branded swimwear is Speedo style trunks for boys and one piece costumes for girls (DD is 6. Her chest is identical to that of the boys in her class). The costumes are more expensive as well as more awkward for the girls to get on and off than the boys' trunks.

Why are dresses a nightmare on baby girls. i always used to put mine in little cotton dresses on hot summer days, babygro's in the winter. I must be old fashioned but i don't care. If i had my time again i'd do the same, dress girls as girls and boys as boys. Can't see the big deal. Much ado about nothing.

I'm convinced that such rigid gender roles and stereotypes are exactly what is playing a huge part in people identifying as transgender.

Not the lack of them.

Only read first two pages. I'm always on the look of for bright coloured clothes for my son. I dislike the khaki/denim/navy that seems to be the main choice in the supermarkets/high street but I don't want to pay loads! I have a quest to get him colourful trousers and he's usually in bright primary colours, he wore leggings a lot as a baby.

He's got quite long hair (to his chin) and people often think he's a girl. I think it's the bright clothes and the hair, he's not wearing overtly 'girly' clothes but boys are so often in dull colours these days.

Obviously once they were crawling i'd put babygros on them, the colour was irrelevant.

My DD is 3 months and we said this.

1. I knew we'd get hand me downs and the odd gift in pink so wanted to avoid ending up with an entire pink wardrobe. I love lots of colours and it seems dull to me.
2. so much girls stuff is flimsy/poorly designed. (Ruffles/lace that will get coated in sick, random cut outs, buttons, super light fabric that won't cope with being crawled on)
3. as my daughter learns to crawl/walk/climb I don't want her to be limited by clothing. Dresses limit girls and I've seen so many toddlers get hampered by skirts/excess fabric. Once she's older I know she'll go for the drag queen look of pink and glitter and thats fine.

I have been bought some cute girly things that I've put aside in case. Most of the girly stuff though has either been returned or donated after a quick photo for the giver.

The only advantage that I've seen in dresses for girls is that a few make the [ahem] transition from dress to top as they grow up.

We can do the same with trousers to shorts, but not so easily.

heartstornastray - dresses get in the way of crawling. (I have seen crawlling baby girls crawl onto the hem of their dresses and face plant). They are harder to keep smooth at the back in carseats and buggy harnesses. In slings, they can get bunched up and it's hard to make sure they aren't uncomfortable.

Lweji

My brother was a primary school teacher for a good few years so again that didn't apply in my life.

I will now be looking for these inequalities everywhere...lol. I do remember my mum saying that when she was at school the girls did needlework whilst the boys did woodwork.

As for women being asked how they manage work and children whereas men are not then that is the person asking being sexist. I would hope the father would consider it his responsibility to manage it as much as the woman's. Again maybe this is my world, my husband will book annual leave to go to school workshops with our children or will work at home if they are sick etc. Any man that doesn't see it as his responsibility is wrong.

Hoping I can watch the programme on catch up in a bit.

Perfectly1mperfect

I fully agree with you and do have a somewhat similar experience, but it's around us and stereotyping is often linked to sexism.

It's quite interesting that once you are alerted to it, you will see it around you.

Invisible You're quite right, that's why i mentioned not when theyre crawling. But hot summer days in the pram it was always cotton dresses.

For example, even though your brother was a primary school teacher, how many male colleagues did he have? How many have you encountered?

I think there's quite a lot of difference between not wanting a load of stuff that says "Daddy's little princess" and only dressing your child in shades of beige.

There are some lovely, cheerful clothes available - although some are expensive. I absolutely love Frugi and have recently discovered Toby Tiger. Basically, I like anything that my Finnish friend would describe as "happy".

I had two boys and then a girl. I dressed them in vests and sleepsuits. Fluffy white towelling ones if possible and they looked beautiful! DD rarely wears dresses but loves the look of them. She doesnt find them practical for playing - she is 3

Dd is nearly 25 and i had her in gender neutral clothes it is hardly new people did buy dresses and frills and occasionally put them on her. What are you upset about no frilly socks and frou frou dresses being a little girl is much more than pink and frills your Dd can dress her child how she likes just like you got to dress how you liked.

Wtf are you on about "transgender shyte" for? No one is more invested in gender stereotypes than the transgender lobby.

Or are you just a professional contrarian based on your banning nuts on planes comments "shyte"?