The not-so mysterious mystery of the missing coat: what would you do?

[fugglestone1]

A few weeks ago, my four year-old daughter’s much-loved, expensive and very distinctive coat went missing from nursery. Everyone looked high and low, but nothing. Two days ago, when I dropped her off at nursery, another little girl ran up to me and said “Look, I’ve got the same coat as Daisy” and proudly showed me my daughter’s coat.

The first thought obviously, was a mistake – it’s easy enough for clothes to get put back on the wrong pegs, etc. But when that happens you bring them back. However, in this case, the parents are saying it is their daughter’s coat and they bought it for her. It’s not completely impossible, but the likelihood is miniscule. It’s been out of season for ages, so you couldn’t buy it in the shops and I’ve never seen another like it anywhere, even on eBay. It was named by the way, but those tags can come off in the wash. Or be pulled off. It’s the same size too (4-5 years – my daughter is very tall), even though the other little girl is only 3.

In short, no one, has any question whose it is. Obviously I could let it go since it’s only a coat. But I’m getting more and more cheesed off because it was a present from my Mum, many of my memories of my daughter from the last two years are of her in it, and because it’s just such a crap thing to do.

Any thoughts?

Label all of her stuff in one obvious place and one hidden place.
If you complain to the police they can ask the parents to provide proof of purchase,. It just depends if you want to go there.
They'll probably guess it was you that complained.

surely just take the opportunity at pick-up time to speak to the parents and explain there's been some sort of mix up and their child has gone home with your daughter's coat on?

I'd let it get lost at nursery again and make sure it never returns.

ah ignore that, missed a line of the op. what would happen if you took the dispute to nursery staff?

Mention it to staff. They may be able to see if there are labels attached or where they may have been attached!!

And yes I'd probably borrow it back too and never send it back to nursery.

I'd speak to the staff first, then I'd speak to the parents and tell them if they didn't return the coat I'd speak to the police - after all, if it's theirs they would be able to provide proof of purchase.

Just get there early one day and take it back.

Take it back.

this happened at our school recently. The coat was recovered to its rightful owner based on teh name label sewn into the pocket which had not been removed. Too late for this occasion, but it's a great tip for the next coat.
If it became lost again at nursery, realistically you're not going to use it for nursery and therefore you'll still need another coat for nursery so I reckon front it out with them - approach via staff first?

Thanks all. To add, the staff do know and have asked the parents. They apparently were 'unclear' on where they bought it, but insist they did.

Yes, borrowing it back, but interestingly the other girl turned up in a different coat today...

Turn up at nursery late and take the coat back. Then deny

Were there any stains on it or other identifying things so you can prove it's yours?

If your DD's been wearing it for 2 years, there must be marks/scuffs etc that you would recognise.

IF you are 100% sure that it is her coat, I would nick it back. Be late/early one day and take it, and then make sure she doesn't wear it to nursery again.

A hidden label is a great idea for the future. Or write somewhere with a sharpie that isn't easily spotted. Then you could approach the staff and ask them to check the coat for you explaining you think there's been a mix up and asking them to look for the hidden identification. If it's then found to be your daughters with any luck they would have it over and you can keep it at home for as long as need be.

For future reference, I don't sew labels in, I write in permanent marker pen somewhere that is inconspicuous but cannot be cut off bitter experience

Looks as if they've stolen your dd's coat. I'd find a different nursery if the nursery can't sort this out and you're sure the coat is yours. Who wants their children to be with thieves.

I agree there must be marks to show it's your DDs. Could you speak to the parents? It's theft after all.

So the CF parents are saying they bought the coat?

God this would piss me off too!

Not much you can actually do though? Unless you want to stoop to their level and pinch it back.

I can't believe how brazen people are? To take the coat and then lie. People can be such cunts.

I would speak again to the nursery staff, using the words "theft" and "police" and insist they do something. The coat went missing on their premises. I'm not saying they are responsible but if you are certain it's your DD's coat then you want it back!

Turn the sleeves of everything inside out and write your child's name in massive print down the entire sleeve in permanent marker. They can cut off a label but they can't cut a fucking sleeve off.

Thieving bastards. I'd tell the most gossipy parent there what they did and let them spread the word.

Yup, marker pen instead of labels. Or as well as labels
I used to put name in marker along the nape, on the hem and if possible inside a sleeve or pocket.

If they were unclear where they bought it and it so distinctive , I would ask the nursery to speak to them again mentioning that you will be taking this further purely because of its sentimental value

I'd make sure I got the coat back.

Not sure how I'd do it though!

I'm afraid it is your word against theirs though unless you can prove that it is without doubt your dd's coat.

Fucking annoying though.