The not-so mysterious mystery of the missing coat: what would you do?

[fugglestone1]

A few weeks ago, my four year-old daughter’s much-loved, expensive and very distinctive coat went missing from nursery. Everyone looked high and low, but nothing. Two days ago, when I dropped her off at nursery, another little girl ran up to me and said “Look, I’ve got the same coat as Daisy” and proudly showed me my daughter’s coat.

The first thought obviously, was a mistake – it’s easy enough for clothes to get put back on the wrong pegs, etc. But when that happens you bring them back. However, in this case, the parents are saying it is their daughter’s coat and they bought it for her. It’s not completely impossible, but the likelihood is miniscule. It’s been out of season for ages, so you couldn’t buy it in the shops and I’ve never seen another like it anywhere, even on eBay. It was named by the way, but those tags can come off in the wash. Or be pulled off. It’s the same size too (4-5 years – my daughter is very tall), even though the other little girl is only 3.

In short, no one, has any question whose it is. Obviously I could let it go since it’s only a coat. But I’m getting more and more cheesed off because it was a present from my Mum, many of my memories of my daughter from the last two years are of her in it, and because it’s just such a crap thing to do.

Any thoughts?

Grab you chance and take it back! Been there and did take back the item, as a present from DS godmother in the UK, and there was absolutely no way the child wearing it could have had the same coat.
Cheeky buggers

And the secret label is a great idea, even if it's just a few stitches of thread or wool in a hidden place.

It does sound as if it's your daughter's coat which is a real shame. You'd like to think these things wouldn't happen at a nursery. But I have to ask why you are sending your daughter to nursery in such an expensive and sentimental coat?! Nursery clothes are bound to get lost/ ruined

Keep an eye and take it back if it does turn up again. Also in future sew a name tag in the pocket and initials in sharpie along the hem. Unfortunately ive had this happen before but luckily had taken the above steps. Cheeky fucker had the nerve to call me combative!

Contact the police. Let the burden of evidence fall on the thieves.

Get Stick-in labels so you can quickly glue one in the pocket or somehwere similar - only need a second and don't need to take the coat home. Then mention it to nursery staff.

I'd contact the police too, after informing the nursery that I was going to do so. Hopefully they'd sort it then before you actually had to.

Forget labels, certain parents just cut them out. Brand new school sweatshirt disappeared then reappeared two months later, stained and damaged beyond repair. Know it was his because there was a distinctive error on the logo embroidery and a tag end with a wee bit of his name left on it (rest cut away). Sharpies, one that can be seen and one that cannot.

Ask the girl too where the parents got it from, and when. She might spill.

If they claim they just bought it, surely they can't have forgotten.

Do you have any pictures of your DD wearing the coat that could prove it to be yours? Anything that shows any distinctive marks would help?

mrsjamesaspey

I wouldn't allow a child into my house if I thoUgly they'd stolen from my child!

What a horrible little girl (and mother) to do that

I really don't think they'd be so brazen send her back to nursery in something so distinctive if they'd nicked it.

You obviously haven't been reading all the CFN threads if you don't believe people would be that brazen

I've experienced this type of CF thievery and yes people are that brazen

it is a horrible thing to do

if there's a chance you can chat to the parents, I would be saying how much your DD misses that coat and what a mystery it is that it vanished. Don't say anything about their DD having it. Just go on about how sad your DD is. Watch the body language and micro expressions

as for people being brazen, it's the old "tell a lie so big no one will think it can be a lie".

Turn the sleeves of everything inside out and write your child's name in massive print down the entire sleeve in permanent marker. They can cut off a label but they can't cut a fucking sleeve off

I wish I had thought of this when my children were small.

There are a lot of brazen people around. Also the really well off ones that seem to do everything so well, but in reality are chaotic and haven't a clue what their child has/has nicked and can't understand why anyone would lament the loss of anything as cheap as a coat.

It is also possible that the child does have a coat like this and there are now two kicking around the floor back home.

For future reference, I don't sew labels in, I write in permanent marker pen somewhere that is inconspicuous but cannot be cut off bitter experience

me too.

Though one cheeky fucker scribbled over it in black marker on a pair of wellies but you could still see the original name if you held it up to the light so I took them back.

This kind of shit happens all the time at school so you need to get tough and sneaky now.

Remember you suspect this is your daughter's coat. You don't know for sure and to act on it without any proof would be bonkers. You say that the tag may have come off in the wash - or it might not have been there in the first place.

I always buy a size bigger for my children even if it means long sleeves as I want to get as much wear out of their clothes as possible. My son is currently wearing a coat 2 sizes too big.

They may have been given the coat, it may have been a hand-me-down, they may have bought it from a charity shop. They may not feel like sharing any of that with someone who is clearly assuming they have stolen it.

Or they may have bought it. You can't assume people are thieves.

This is why I don't send my son to nursery in his best coat or shoes.
Nursery did lose one of his first Clarke's shoes (just the one) but luckily it did show up in the end.

I write his initials on the washing label with a washproof sharpie. That way it can't be removed unless the label is cut off which would be pretty obvious.

ok, Devil's advocate - perhaps they bought it in a local charity shop, thinking - "OMG that is the same coat as the little girl at nursery, isn't it lovely our DD will love it" - it was a few weeks ago it went missing.

If you think it has been stolen then report it to the police. But be prepared to be embarrassed if it wasn't and they've picked it up from TKMaxx or similar. You've only got the nurserys say so that they've even asked the parents about it. I wouldn't imagine interrogating parents about lost coats on behalf of other parents who are silly enough to send their kids in expensive ones is their top priority.

also, arrive early, and ask the little girl on her own when and where she got her new coat

People are saying get the police in, and that these people will have to prove they bought it and show a receipt. I think its unlikely the police would get to involved though. OP could you prove you ever owned a coat like this, have you kept the receipt? Normal people don't, so it wouldn't be fair to ask that. I think its very likely the OPs DDs coat, but almost impossible to prove.
Even if OP has photos of her DD in said coat, it doesnt prove that she doesn't somehow have one the same unfortunately.

You can't interrogate a 3 year old!

Is it frugi ducks? Misses point

GravelRavel a 3 year old wont know my 3 year old thinks Frank buys her clothes. Frank is a delivery driver I shop online a lot :)