The not-so mysterious mystery of the missing coat: what would you do?

[fugglestone1]

A few weeks ago, my four year-old daughter’s much-loved, expensive and very distinctive coat went missing from nursery. Everyone looked high and low, but nothing. Two days ago, when I dropped her off at nursery, another little girl ran up to me and said “Look, I’ve got the same coat as Daisy” and proudly showed me my daughter’s coat.

The first thought obviously, was a mistake – it’s easy enough for clothes to get put back on the wrong pegs, etc. But when that happens you bring them back. However, in this case, the parents are saying it is their daughter’s coat and they bought it for her. It’s not completely impossible, but the likelihood is miniscule. It’s been out of season for ages, so you couldn’t buy it in the shops and I’ve never seen another like it anywhere, even on eBay. It was named by the way, but those tags can come off in the wash. Or be pulled off. It’s the same size too (4-5 years – my daughter is very tall), even though the other little girl is only 3.

In short, no one, has any question whose it is. Obviously I could let it go since it’s only a coat. But I’m getting more and more cheesed off because it was a present from my Mum, many of my memories of my daughter from the last two years are of her in it, and because it’s just such a crap thing to do.

Any thoughts?

It would be nice to think it came from a charity shop, or was a gift etc.

But given the OPs daughters coat went missing and then suddenly, as if by magic, this one appears. It's a bit unlikely convenient.

OP, I'll bet you never see that coat again.

It's why I never bought anything expensive for my DC to wear to nursery/ school, because it just gets stolen.

Years ago when I was about 7 a family friend brought me a present back from a holiday to the US. This was very early 80s, when going to New York etc was still fairly unusual. I took this present into school and another kid nicked it. The teacher ended up calling both our parents in. Kid first said she didn't have it. Then when it was found in her desk her mum said she'd been bought it by her nan in London. Which was bollocks cos a) you couldn't buy this one in the UK at the time (why relative brought it back) and b) it had a US price tag on it.

To which her mum, bold as brass, said 'oh hers must be at home'!!

Funnily enough, she never brought it into school because her mum made it up. People are skanky liars and thieves.

Take it back, tell nursery you found it at home.

Name it along the sleeve inside.

Look shocked when thief tells you her daughter has lost "her" coat.

I would take it back too.

Meanwhile the writing the name inside the sleeve is ducking genius thank you for brilliant tip!

Similar thing happened at my dd's nursery. Coat was not too expensive, but it was a gift from relatives in the states. It cannot be bought here. Other mum swore blind it was hers and she had picked it up at a car boot. Luckily, my DM had been anal enough to write my dd's initials inside the sleeves of both arms! DH wanted to call the police, I just wanted the coat back.

This is why I change all the buttons on my DD's school cardigans with mismatched colourful buttons. The ONE year I didn't do this at the beginning of the school year, all 3 cardigans disappeared in the first 3 weeks. I was furious, but lesson learned. No one can argue with me now because I change every damn button and they are obviously hers.

Don't confront the child it's not their fault! Can't believe pp are advising you to ask her
If the nursery won't sort it out you should speak to the parents yourself or just take it back. Unfortunately if they were stupid enough to steal the coat the may not send her in wearing it again! I hate they way it is now where people just take what they want. I label everything at least 3/4 times in every available label as well as writing their names in permanent marker in the arms and on the back of the coat (inside)
Hope you manage to get your daughter's coat back.

I'd have a look at the coat next time it's there (if it ever returns). Make sure it's 100% your DDs, and also check if they've made any permanent marks to the coat (label sewn in, name sharpied in, etc). If it doesn't appear to have been tampered with, then I'd put a sticker with her name on in the coat and place it on her peg. When you see a member of staff say 'oh wonderful you found the missing coat'. If it's queried show them the sticker with her name inside .

also, the other thing to do when you see the parents is to happen to be humming Bad Blood. Or just blatantly singing it if you're that good

Do you have a picture of your dd in the coat?

Put up 'lost' signs at nursery - 'do you have two of these?' & asking ppl to check bags as it's 'accidentally been taken home'.

Constant shaming reminder & potentially a get out for the thieves.

dadshere what did she say when you showed her the initials?! Talk us through that moment.

f you complain to the police they can ask the parents to provide proof of purchase

LOL. Nope.

I guess you could tell the parents you got yours from ABC Plausible Shop (which has actually never stocked it) and see if they say "Yes, that's where we got ours too!"

Then you contact the police, they go round and ask her where she bought it. "ABC Plausible Shop" she says. "Funny", say the officers, "it's never been available there".

Where else could the coat have gone. Such a shame that people are so dishonest.

much-loved, expensive and very distinctive coat went missing from nursery

That's where you went wrong. Trust nae fucker as the saying goes.

Op what a crap situation, I hope you get your coat back! If it's any consolation I lost my brand new Mickey Mouse VHS tape when I was little, my mum bought it because I had been unwell. I was gutted. Went to my best friends house to play and there was a new VHS on her shelf, she said "It isn't yours, my parents bought it for me" but I hadn't mentioned that mine was missing There are some brilliant ideas about labelling on this thread.

Contact the police. Let the burden of evidence fall on the thieves.

In the unlikely event of the police having any interest, how do you see this going? Assuming it is the OP's daughter's coat, there will be at least some signs of wear and tear. All Thief Mum has to do is say she bought it from a jumble sale. Completely plausible, and completely realistic that she wouldn't have a receipt. No further action. Even the OP's mother has kept her receipt, all that proves is that she bought the same style of coat two years ago - as could have dozens of people.

All those suggesting the OP somehow get into the nursery, sew secret labels into the coat and then launch a claim for it - all without being seen - you've been watching too many mystery dramas.

Coat thievery seems quite common :( hope you can prove it somehow

I'm genuinely shocked that people will steal a child's coat whilst at nursery. Is it the parents or is it child taking X coat and parents not realising it's not theirs?

I don't think anybody advised a Gestapo-style interrogation for the 3-year old. But sure I would ask nicely about when mummy brought the coat

DD1's very lovely coat went missing from nursery once. I told nursery and all the parents I saw. Still nothing after a week. I posted in all the local fb groups laying it on thick with pictures of the coat and where it went missing from saying my daughter had no coat now. Lo and behold, a few days later, it was returned to nursery and they said it had "accidentally" been taken home by another child. I just didn't let it drop.

OP I can only suggest that you do the same, insist on seeing it again to check for signs that it's definitely your daughter's coat.

Personally I would be saying to the nursery staff that you will regrettably have to get the police involved if the coat is not returned to your daughters peg within a week. They will then heavily lean on the parents to return it and it gives the offending parent a get out clause. Hopefully you won't need to get the police involved... it's a little bit like counting down from five... no one quite knows what will happen if you actually get to one!

I can't believe how many people imagine that it would be good use of police time to mediate between two parents about a coat!! Learn the lesson and let the police go catch the real baddies.

But sure I would ask nicely about when mummy brought the coat

brought it where?

Unfortunately stealing goes on all the way through primary and secondary school.
I second the multiple naming of property.
Even then it is difficult to get stuff
back.
My son's brand new football boots didn't even last the first week of year 7.
Schools dont care.

Trust nae fucker

go forward with this at the forefront of your mind OP