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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The not-so mysterious mystery of the missing coat: what would you do?

142 replies

fugglestone1 · 24/08/2017 15:20

A few weeks ago, my four year-old daughter’s much-loved, expensive and very distinctive coat went missing from nursery. Everyone looked high and low, but nothing. Two days ago, when I dropped her off at nursery, another little girl ran up to me and said “Look, I’ve got the same coat as Daisy” and proudly showed me my daughter’s coat.

The first thought obviously, was a mistake – it’s easy enough for clothes to get put back on the wrong pegs, etc. But when that happens you bring them back. However, in this case, the parents are saying it is their daughter’s coat and they bought it for her. It’s not completely impossible, but the likelihood is miniscule. It’s been out of season for ages, so you couldn’t buy it in the shops and I’ve never seen another like it anywhere, even on eBay. It was named by the way, but those tags can come off in the wash. Or be pulled off. It’s the same size too (4-5 years – my daughter is very tall), even though the other little girl is only 3.

In short, no one, has any question whose it is. Obviously I could let it go since it’s only a coat. But I’m getting more and more cheesed off because it was a present from my Mum, many of my memories of my daughter from the last two years are of her in it, and because it’s just such a crap thing to do.

Any thoughts?

OP posts:
Jaxhog · 25/08/2017 12:33

It does emphasize the need to have clear labels sewn in obscure places.
Having lost a good towel at the Gym and a jacket at an event, I'm thinking I'll now have to do this with my own clothes.

Truly sad that we have to do this.

FuckYouLinda · 25/08/2017 12:38

DS had a coat that was like his younger classmates - just a brightly coloured debenhams one. One day there was a much smaller much cleaner version of it on our coat rack. I knew it wasn't his instantly, just as his classmates mother probably recoiled at ours.

It had obviously been picked up by mistake, and the next morning the two coats were on their hooks and presumably both DPs well warned to come home with the right one.

notapizzaeater · 25/08/2017 12:43

I'd be tempered to take it back too. Was there any distinguishing marks ? Any pulls ?

Blodplod · 25/08/2017 12:54

Sorry about the coat.. sorry to derail but this thread reminded me so much of an "ex" friend. She nicked stuff off people all the time and then insisted it was hers, could remember buying it etc etc.. Once my travel mug went missing. I knew she had taken it. A few months later 1 was round her house and lo and behold she gets 2 travel mugs out of the cupboard, 1 of which was mine, the one that went missing months beforehand. (it was very distinctive). I said "oh great! my travel mug, I've been meaning to ask you if you had picked it up by mistake" She said, "No, its mine. I bought it from such and such shop". I then said.. "wow! I didn't realise they sold travel mugs with my name scratched into them already.." This was because I had literally scratched my name in the metal with a sharp knife knowing that it probably be nicked by her. She looked me straight in the eye and insisted she had bought it and it was hers.. That was an example of a small item.. She was at the same stables I was at and would literally nick anything she would get her hands on and then insist it was hers despite being labelled as belonging to other people. I'm guessing these parents are a similar type!

INFP · 25/08/2017 14:06

Blod- that is unfuckingbelievable! What a cheek!

WhingyNinja · 25/08/2017 16:34

Argh that's infuriating, Blod! Is she a kleptomaniac? She sure sounds like one.

Was the other kid wearing the coat today, OP?

Ttbb · 25/08/2017 16:39

If it's there again just take it assuming that it's yours. Otherwise just forget about it. It's just a coat.

Blodplod · 25/08/2017 16:50

She was very strange.. pathological liar and nimble fingers! She had this big plastic storage container in the yard - like you buy from garden centres for garden storage if you haven't got a shed. It was kept locked. I worked out how to break into it thought and regularly broke in to claim back our stuff! In a classic example a brand new pair of gloves I had just bought, put down in tack room and an hour or so later they were 'missing'. I found them stuffed right down the bottom of the container.. she had massive (manly) hands and my gloves were petite so they wouldn't even of fitted her? She was a really good friend for many years before I really cottoned on to her! Can't quite believe I hadn't spotted it sooner..

Turbinaria · 25/08/2017 16:53

If it returns just take it back I'd dare them to make a fuss then. We have a school to parents texting service and it's always the nice expensive items which go missing. Never seen someone report a missing Asda jumper

Blodplod · 25/08/2017 16:53

The gloves were about £50 as well... she nicked girths that wouldn't have fitted her horse's, bridles, boots etc. Essentially anything that wasn't bolted down or locked away when you left the yard she nicked and it ended up in this huge storage unit to just rot away if she couldn't use it. If she could use it she would just swear blind she bought it! Grin

dumbledore345 · 25/08/2017 16:56

for the future, permanent markers are your friend.

Blodplod · 25/08/2017 17:08

Sorry! I've merailed completely! But, ahhh that was cathartic..

WhingyNinja · 25/08/2017 17:14

Sounds like a kleptomaniac, Blod! She needed to steal, even if she didn't have use for it, and the keeping her trophies in a box in the garden is just bizarre! Confused

Blodplod · 25/08/2017 17:36

I need to google definition of kleptomaniac! I could write a book about her.. some of her behaviour was downright cruel and vicious to the innocent.. anyhow in a pathetic and childish attempt to 'get my own back' I once poured a whole pint of milk into some (stolen) boots she had in the container.. in the height of summer whilst they were on holiday for 2 weeks..... not normally my modus operandi but I was so enraged by the thriving and lying!

Blodplod · 25/08/2017 17:36

Thieving not thriving!

WhingyNinja · 25/08/2017 17:52

Ohh that's both evil and very stinky! 😂

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 25/08/2017 20:17

I took a big box of old clothes in to preschool after my dd had left for them to use as spare clothes. They weren't very special but they were nice, clean, good quality clothes that dd had grown out of. The preschool leader told me a few months later that they'd all gone. They went home as spares and never came back and now they were running short on spares again. I often look at the parents around me at school and wonder how many of them are opportunistic thieves.

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