To request no kids on the wedding invites?

[Curlyhepburn]

The wedding is a while off yet but just planning now and it occurred to me that I dont know how to go about it, we have 3 kids of our own between us, youngest will be 13 at the time and we are both clear on not wanting very young kids/babies.

I know this isnt always popular with families and I wondered if its reasonable to include a note of this in the info card to go out with the invites?
Am I being daft?

And if you don't see that the invite is for those named on the invite then I am baffled.

I think you mean "isn't understood" but really, that's not anyone else fault if you don't understand that an invite to anything is for the people it says on the invite. Fairly obvious to most.

Such a difficult issue.

I find small children loud, demanding, dangerous and generally annoying. I can see why people consider events without them nicer.

However having said that, there's no way on earth I'd get married and exclude my 2yo niece because I love her (her particularly not small kids in general!!). Plus (my kids are big now) but when they were toddlers they were invited and welcomed to very close family weddings (siblings). I offered not to bring them and my brother would not hear of it.

Plus, childcare can be a major problem particularly for smaller children. Easy if you have involved grandparents close by and in good heath and your kids are happy staying with them for the weekend. But most people cannot tick all those boxes. I certainly couldn't.

Perhaps your problem here op is that your wedding is too large - in that you must have people on the list with small kids you barely know and therefore don't love them?

But as pp have said, your invitations must be crystal clear. Eg we cannot accommodate any children under 12.

No more

No not rude and entitled, just a make from an incorrect assumption due to a lack of information on the invite and an assumption that everyone knows the "only the people on the envelope " code that people who feel a bit uncomfortable about having a child free wedding.

But it would never actually happen, because I would never just turn up at someone's wedding without talking to them/ congratulating them/ thanking them/ offering them help !

Mistake not mAke

On the subject of silliness with assuming what's meant on invitations: I addressed mine to the adults of each family under the assumption that that meant kids were invited as well. In my mind the kids were automatically invited as dependents i guess.

If you don't want people to bring their children then it should be clearly on the invite IMO.

Exactly laiste

My DH's cousin had s very formal invite from her parents that requested my husband's presence. Me and the children weren't mentioned, it was just assumed that we'd know we were .

Your real friends will sort out childcare.

Not always - I wouldn't be able to, but I wouldn't be bitter about it.

I can't stand Weddings, so would probably be quite releived.

lack of information on the invite

So Mr and Mrs smith are invited to.... so it's for Mr and Mrs smith!

How is that hard to understand or how is that lacking in information?

If you don't want people to bring their children then it should be clearly on the invite IMO.

It is clearly stated, because the children aren't named on the invite and are therefore not invited.

Radical, I know.

Oh, i should add - the kids all turned up Loved it. A babe in arms as well.

I echo an earlier poster. The roof of the place could have fallen in on us while i was saying my vows with DH and i don't think i'd have noticed at all. The rest of the world ceased to exist.

(sorry for the cheesyness but it's true )

It's fine to not invite children to your wedding, but I think some mention of it on the invite is really useful.

I know on mumsnet land that the people named on the invitation are the only ones invited, but I don't think I've received an invitation with my daughter specifically named. Sometimes she's invited sometimes she's not. It just makes it so much easier if you say that children aren't invited somewhere on the invitation so I don't have to clarify.

It is clearly stated, because the children aren't named on the invite and are therefore not invited.

But my invitations were meant for the whole family even though they only stated the adults. And the whole family is who turned up. I think child free is not the default. Yet.

any invite just requesting my husband presence I would assume only my husband was invited.

To exclude the wife's name but expect her to come is wierd.

Laiste Then you wrote them incorrectly and were lucky people knew what you meant.

When i say my invitations i mean the ones i wrote.

I think most people would assume children not invited if 'and family' was omitted.

However these posts go to show it's best to be totally clear and upfront either way.

It's different with husband and wife. The wife isn't a dependent.

However these posts go to show it's best to be totally clear and upfront either way.

This exactly. Some of us will have to agree to disagree about what they'd assume, but if it's that important to you to have no kids at your wedding it's best to make sure everyone's on the same page by spelling out as much surely? For your own sake?

Exactly Laiste

DPs family never put children on wedding invites, I questioned the first one to shock and horror of how immediate family would never be excluded. No one has been brave enough for a child free one yet, maybe next generation. We live in a country with lots of traditions old and new.

I don't know why people think childfree is modern. My parents married over 30 years ago and it was childfree, even nieces and nephews. Mine was not childfree and I recall asking my mum about why she had chosen that and she said it was the done thing in her circle and they had a massive social circle.

OP, you need to be clear because apparently people don't realise that non-named people are not invited.

I kind of agree with whatabout. We made an exception for babies and I did notice them on the day. We wanted the mothers there so that was the decision we made but I don't think it would have been wrong to make a different decision, especially if you weren't that close to the guests with babies.

I've also sat at a wedding breakfast on a table with a baby with colic and that was no bloody fun for anyone (including the mother). Totally different (worse) dynamic to an adults only table.

Babies are children and there are plenty of adult only occasions babies can't attend. It also causes ill feeling among others who say 'well my son is only 13 months and I still breastfeed him and I don't have any childcare so why can her 8 month old come and mine can't?' etc

I just think it should be up to the bride and groom for whom this is their wedding day. Same way it's up to parents to go or decline. No need for fallings out.

I love a no kids invite lol, a friend had her wedding just their children then had an evening do disco and buffet when everyone went x