To request no kids on the wedding invites?

[Curlyhepburn]

The wedding is a while off yet but just planning now and it occurred to me that I dont know how to go about it, we have 3 kids of our own between us, youngest will be 13 at the time and we are both clear on not wanting very young kids/babies.

I know this isnt always popular with families and I wondered if its reasonable to include a note of this in the info card to go out with the invites?
Am I being daft?

Yanbu....

I would put the name/names of the invitees on the invitation and at the bottom of the invite say "regret no children"....I wouldn't give a reason...

Yanbu but you may have lots of people who can't come as a result. You may also want to allow 'babe's in arms' as it wouldn't cost anything to yourself, and their parents would almost certainly not be able to make it if you excluded them

YANBU we had the same policy at our wedding and as we made it clear from the start it didn't stop anyone coming - infact people were more excited to come as they got a break from the children. Just make it very clear and there won't be a problem x

No children def includes newborns. Have a think about it timeisontaline. Yes it means the mum may turn the invite down but at least she has the option. At my wedding the bf mum accepted the invite as close by and shed expressed and frozen milk. I think she was the one most looking forward to it knowing her baby was safe with her parents. She left around 11pm. Wedding was at 12 with reception at 2pm.

My mum and gran was ill at the time so newborns and children were not invited due to noise. My gran had a brain tumour and had awful headaches if very noisy. Was just glad she made it that far.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 if you know someone has just has a baby why not just not invite them in the first place? TBH you do come across as a bit me me me in your posts.

Personally I wouldn't feel put out if a baby cried during my wedding because I don't feel as if I am competing with a baby in the attention stakes. I would also hope that one of the parents would remove said baby if it was making too much noise.

Yanbu. I'd say no children, no exceptions and just accept that some people might not be able to come. When you start making exceptions it starts to get messy ime.

DH and I don't take our dc to weddings anymore. Too stressful. One of us usually stays home, unless it's someone really close to both of us, which hasn't happened yet.

We have a big family wedding next year with dcs (one is going to be a bridesmaid). Neither of us could stay home without causing serious offence, so dc will have to come). I am not looking forward to the stress if I'm honest. Will be a bit of a military operation to keep them entertained and then I'll leave with the baby shortly after dinner. It will be nice I'm sure, but not relaxing.

YANBU, it's your wedding so you decide who comes and who doesn't.

BUT (and I think this has probably been said lots of times already), don't stomp your feet about it if they can't or won't come because of their children.

We did exactly this at our wedding, 3 years ago. It was partly to do with the fact that we got married in a rural location in the south of France (where DH is from) where there were absolutely no facilities for kids. We also had no small kids of our own at the time and neither did most of our friends/family, so it wasn't a major issue. Maybe we'd have needed to do if differently if close family members had had young children.

Those friends who did have children seemed to jump at the chance of leaving them with the grandparents for a weekend abroad! Only one couple could not come because of this, although it was more to do with the fact the she refused to ever leave their kids overnight with anyone (even their father!).

As usual Neutrogena being a goady close minded arse.

There are situations where finding childcare is not possible.

I had to decline several weddings when ds was smaller. I just wasn't dumping a baby in with an unknown childcarer abroad. Even for my best friend.

if you know someone has just has a baby why not just not invite them in the first place? TBH you do come across as a bit me me me in your posts.

Because they have options; they can come if they want to. And of course; a wedding day is about the bride and groom so it should be all about them.

Personally I wouldn't feel put out if a baby cried during my wedding because I don't feel as if I am competing with a baby in the attention stakes. I would also hope that one of the parents would remove said baby if it was making too much noise.

It's not about competing with the baby, it's about having a moment you've waited for and will cherish forever ruined; forever immortalised if you have the ceremony recorded.

And taking the baby out doesn't help either, because then there's the extra noise and added distraction of someone leaving.

It should be one of the best moments in a persons life. They are right to not want it ruined.

I wouldn't leave my dc with gps for a wedding, unless maybe it was for the wedding of someone I was really close to. A best friend or relative. But then, I probably wouldn't want to take them along to that either, so the no dc thing wouldn't make a difference in that case!

Of course YANBU OP. It'seems your husband-to-be's wedding too, so if his family are doling out flak the decision, let him deal with it.

Hope you have a lovely day and a long and happy marriage.

Sorry, should clarify; that^^ was re weddings abroad. I wouldn't welcome it as a lovely opportunity to dump my offspring on the nearest relative at all. It would be a major inconvenience, but one worth undertaking for someone I really, really cared about.

"And of course; a wedding day is about the bride and groom so it should be all about them."

I tend to take the view that the although bride and groom are the centre of attention it is also about making sure your guests enjoy the day as much as you do. Making a wedding all about the bride and groom without a thought for the guests enjoyment and comfort is rather selfish and self entitled IMO, especially if some of them have travelled a long way and at great expense to be there.

I don't understand at this 'jumping at the chance' to go to a child free wedding so you can leave your kids behind. You don't need an instruction from the bride and groom to do it If you don't want to bring your kids with you to weddings then don't!

Honestly - if in the past you've bowed to pressure from relatives to do it and it's been a stressful disaster as you knew damn well it would be then that's your own fault.

This thread shows how you have to spell it out clearly on the invitations.

Absolutely fine to just put 'we regret no children invited'. And I would also write except babes in arms/including babes in arms - depending on whether you are happy to have young babies. Otherwise you will have people asking about newborns.

Most weddings I've been to in recent years have been 'no children', howerer an exception is almost always made for new borns. How many people with newborns do you actually know? It is highly likely that the mothers will be unable to come if their babies cannot come - so whether you invite them will depend on whether those women are close friends and are you bothered about whether they come to your wedding or not.

Whatever you do, make sure the instructions are clear and that you don't make an exception for one family and not another. I know it's your wedding, but inconsistency really irritates people.

Making a wedding all about the bride and groom without a thought for the guests enjoyment and comfort is rather selfish and self entitled IMO, especially if some of them have travelled a long way and at great expense to be there.

There's never been any implication, from me or the OP, that guests enjoyment and comfort weren't/aren't considered.

I think you have to make it clear it's no kids. In my town, and probably further afield, I grew up with a local convention that invites were addressed to the head of the household, and it was understood that it was for all the family, even though they weren't explicitly named.

It was only about 10-15 years ago I realised there was a different way of doing things, although lucky for me I never caused a problem by assuming anything.

You might find that some parents will bring their kids anyway.

We did include one very young baby on an invitation, but otherwise excluded friends' children being invited, on the premise that I'm friends with my friends, not their children. Didn't stop one little guy turning up. Didn't really mind, we ordered him some food. But other guests managed to find sitters for their kids.

YANBU. We didn't have any children,.

it's about having a moment you've waited for and will cherish forever ruined; forever immortalised if you have the ceremony recorded

I've heard it all now!

I've heard it all now!

I'm sorry if you didn't/won't wait for and/or cherish your wedding day. That's a real shame for you. Perhaps you'll get a second chance? Or a first, if it hasn't happened yet.

I had a fabulous wedding thank you.