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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to tell colleague she shouldn't have a dog?

195 replies

thesleepystorm · 23/08/2017 13:50

I know I should mind my own business but...my colleague is about to purchase a pug puppy. She found it on the pets4homes Hmm website. She lives in a top floor London flat (where she isn't allowed pets anyway, she rents), she is out all day at work and then the gym so about 12 hours a day but does not intend on employing a dog walker because it's too expensive, nor does she intend on getting pet insurance for the same reason. Yet she has spent ££££££ on an expensive bed, toys and carrier for this dog. She has never owned a pet before.

I really want to say something to her regarding the above - particularly warning her off pets4homes - but I think she might tell me to sod off. But it makes me so cross!!! WIBU to say something?

OP posts:
Eleventybillionfucks · 26/08/2017 01:52

It'll also give you a good idea of what conditions she's keeping the dog in so you can give the Rspca an in depth report and they'll be more likely to respond

smurfit · 26/08/2017 02:54

I would never buy another dog from an unregistered breeder. I love my Pom to bits but she has some issues which have been very stressful (genetic ones and behavioural ones). I would try harder to choose with less emotional response next time.

In hindsight, she wasn't the right breed for me but I'm committed now so do my best for her. She was so tiny and fluffy that when they gave her to me to hold I couldn't give her back. She's now a happy ball of floof.

Hopefully your colleague falls in love with the pup and realise it's not an accessory. Dogs have so much love to give if they're allowed to.

fatfingeredfran · 26/08/2017 07:42

Say something. If she goes ahead anyway report to RSPCA

Original poster
thesleepystorm · 26/08/2017 08:07

The rspca won't help unless the dog is literally being starved or physically abused. Sadly I know this from experience

OP posts:
Crumblevision · 26/08/2017 08:18

Just out of interest OP how old is your colleague? Eleventy's idea is genius.

Huffletuff · 26/08/2017 08:22

A breeder registered with who, @smurfit?

ForalltheSaints · 26/08/2017 08:23

I would say something myself. Landlord could end the tenancy for starters and the dog could be difficult and damage things in the flat. Aside from my feeling that a dog should not be kept in a flat in any case.

Original poster
thesleepystorm · 26/08/2017 08:25

She's mid thirties. She'd never let me come over, we've never been close and she'd smell a rat

OP posts:
user1473069303 · 26/08/2017 08:51

In the early days with our puppy I was constantly behind her with a mop. She was peeing every 20 minutes. Luckily we don't have carpets. No way could I have left her for a whole day. If I had to go out anywhere I popped her into a child's playpen we'd bought secondhand. She's perfectly toilet trained now but in the beginning it was very, very hard. I work from home but that still didn't stop her eating part of a wall and destroying two pairs of my sandals. It was worth it though, she's turned into a such a loving dog.

smurfit · 26/08/2017 09:21

@Huffletuff kennel club breeders tend to be checked a lot more thoroughly than the average facebook dogs for welfare. In saying this, mine did come from a loving home where the stents are well loved and not consistently bred but because she's purebred, she seemed to have all of the breed genetic issues.

There's still a need to research them and have puppies checked but it helps a little.

silkpyjamasallday · 26/08/2017 09:27

That's so sad, it is so hard when you know an animal is going to suffer and there is nothing you can do. It is utterly irresponsible for her to get a dog, reminds me of a woman who used to work for my dad. He does 12+ hour days and she would be with him for all of this time. She bought two puppies, one toy breed and one mid sized, left them at home all day every day until the bigger puppy killed the smaller one. Didn't take long to happen. A pug on its own could very badly injure itself if it fell off a sofa etc. Your colleague sounds clueless and obstinate though so I don't imagine you'll get very far with advice. Poor poor dog.

Huffletuff · 26/08/2017 09:32

@smurfit - They really don't.

JigglyTuff · 26/08/2017 09:32

That's awful silk Shock

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 26/08/2017 09:40

I know what bank owns the flats yes, but I wouldn't know who to contact there
It would probably take a few phone calls but I bet it's doable. Start with customer services and just say you're trying to find the LL of the flats on such and such street. I doubt you'll even need to know the name of the flats. They should know what department to try. Or for £3 you can search for title deeds of the property on Land Registry although you need a house number and postcode for that. To get a postcode for a building you can use Royal Mail postcode finder.
Or you can do a free people search here that will give her full address.

I've tried 192
What did you find?

pigsDOfly · 26/08/2017 09:53

If the flat is owned by a bank I wouldn't hold out much hope for them doing anything.

I had cause, a few years ago, to report something that was happening in a flat next door to me, flat was on a mortgage with a bank.

Bank was completely uninterested.

Original poster
thesleepystorm · 26/08/2017 10:45

Really pigs Sad

192 just gave me her old address

OP posts:
pigsDOfly · 26/08/2017 10:58

I'm afraid so. Hopefully another bank might not be the same.

Also, not sure why I said it was a flat, it was actually a house, and the bank didn't own the building, it was just a mortgage. If they actually own the building, hopefully they'll take it more seriously.

I can't imagine the neighbours will take kindly to a poor dog barking all day.

I hope you get somewhere with this.

MsPassepartout · 26/08/2017 11:14

Ignoring the ethical aspect of her breeding the dog for money (bad, yes) - surely breeding the dog wouldn't work from a practical point of view?

She's living in a flat where dogs aren't allowed. How does she think the neighbours will let her get away with keeping this pug till it's old enough to breed, then raising a litter of puppies till they're old enough to sell? One of them is bound to complain about dog noise sooner or later, especially if they know she's not allowed dogs in the flat. And that's without thinking about all the mess that you'd have from even one dog kept cooped up all day in a flat.

Raindancer411 · 26/08/2017 11:29

If you cant do much, although you have tried, I would just cut out all discussions with her. She is bound to keep mentioning it and it will just wind you up. Hard to do, but if you have exhausted all ways to help the poor dog, it maybe the only way...

IHeartDodo · 26/09/2017 18:42

Was thinking about this the other day, any update OP?

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