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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to tell colleague she shouldn't have a dog?

195 replies

thesleepystorm · 23/08/2017 13:50

I know I should mind my own business but...my colleague is about to purchase a pug puppy. She found it on the pets4homes Hmm website. She lives in a top floor London flat (where she isn't allowed pets anyway, she rents), she is out all day at work and then the gym so about 12 hours a day but does not intend on employing a dog walker because it's too expensive, nor does she intend on getting pet insurance for the same reason. Yet she has spent ££££££ on an expensive bed, toys and carrier for this dog. She has never owned a pet before.

I really want to say something to her regarding the above - particularly warning her off pets4homes - but I think she might tell me to sod off. But it makes me so cross!!! WIBU to say something?

OP posts:
memove · 23/08/2017 15:54

Good luck op

Janus · 23/08/2017 15:57

Of course they need walking! There is no dog (possibly only a very elderly one with mobility issues) that doesn't need walking. They have to socialise and get out in order to be a normal functioning dog, else it will be a cowering wreck. Honestly it's just plain cruel.

TopEndChops · 23/08/2017 16:00

I've got a Chug, they're quite highly strung, very energetic and prone to destructive behaviour, and like someone else said, you have to keep your eyes on them almost all the time, she's tried to eat a wall too, wood, anything knedible she can get her mouth at really, and she doesn't get left alone for that long either.

Slimthistime · 23/08/2017 16:01

I would definitely say something

my best mate was thinking about getting a dog till I reminded her that about poop bags and things that might be exempt from pet insurance etc.

I hope that she wouldn't have got as far as the shelter without thinking of these things but you never know!

MissionItsPossible · 23/08/2017 16:02

I understand people's sentiments and saying you should try to gently educate her and point out all the risks and how cruel it is to keep a dog locked up in a small area, but from the sound of the OP and their replies, do you honestly think anything OP says is going to make a blind bit of difference? Poor potential dog, I feel sorry for it being dragged up by that clueless, selfish idiot.

Llanali · 23/08/2017 16:05

@Topendchops what on earth is a Chug? A Pug crossbred with?

Original poster
thesleepystorm · 23/08/2017 16:20

I just cornered her in the kitchen and raised points as follows:

  1. pets4homes breeder v unlikely to be above board, to which her answer was she knew that but she couldn't afford a proper breeder

  2. dog not being walked. apparently she knows many other people with indoor dogs who don't walk them and as such it's perfectly fine for small dogs not to be walked

  3. dog not being insured and warning re financial implications if it gets sick. she says if dog requires ££££s in vets fees she will just have to have it rehomed as she can't afford to pay for insurance OR vets fees.

She got huffy with me as predicted. Oh well. I couldn't not say anything.

OP posts:
KatharinaRosalie · 23/08/2017 16:24

she knows many other people who also should never had dogs? And that makes this ok then?
Yes, it's so easy to re-home sick, not socialised dogs.
What a twat.

Original poster
thesleepystorm · 23/08/2017 16:27

I really feel quite upset but I don't really know what else to do

OP posts:
isthismummy · 23/08/2017 16:39

Bloody hell op. What a distressing situation for you. Your work colleague is an actual moronAngry

Could you report her to the LL anonymously? She won't keep that puppy more than five minutes anyway though. Not once it starts shitting everywhere and chewing her house up!

Why does she even want a dog?

Original poster
thesleepystorm · 23/08/2017 16:42

Apparently I am "animal mad" and treat them too much as if they are on the same level as people and I need to chill out

Fucks SAKE

OP posts:
KatharinaRosalie · 23/08/2017 16:47

as a dog owner, I can tell her what happens if the dog isn't walked and exercised. It will get very bored and frustrated. This will mean that it will: whine, bark, yelp continuously. Scratch, chew. Destroy shoes, furniture, walls. Pee all over. Our dogs are a TOTAL pain, impossible to live with, before they get their morning walk. And ours are very chilled, socialised dogs normally. Untrained dog kept indoors only will be impossible.

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 23/08/2017 16:52

Ugh, I hate people like her. They are the cause of so much cruelty and suffering because they are so damn selfish and prop up the puppy farming industryAngry

As another poster suggested, as she clearly doesn't give a shit about the welfare of the animal, go down the "it'll chew your shoes then shit in them", "it'll bark and a neighbour will report you. You'll get evicted and won't get a good reference for another place", "it'll chew your door frames and you'll lose your deposit (when you get evicted)", "it'll piss all over the carpet and your flat will stink", route.

Wolfiefan · 23/08/2017 16:53

She's bloody idiot. I give it 4 months tops before it ends up on a free website as needs gone. Hoping it doesn't end up as dog fighting bait. Sickening. Really sickening.
Nobody should take on any animal without at least trying their best to ensure they can meet all its needs. I know people lose jobs etc etc. but to say you can't afford a decent breeder and she will have to rehome (more likely PTS) if it has issues? She's a twat of the highest order.

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 23/08/2017 16:55

OP, what do your other collegues think of her puppy idea? Are you a lone voice in this or could other people say something too?

isthismummy · 23/08/2017 16:55

Animal mad? Yeah it's sheer madness to want an animals basic needs metAngry

She's a fucking idiot op. My blood is boiling for you and whatever poor puppy she gets.

isthismummy · 23/08/2017 16:58

Does she actually realise it will piss everywhere and wreck her flat and possessions? God knows my 12 week old pup has a good go and she's never left alone for more than a couple of hours tops!!

user1494426473 · 23/08/2017 16:58

That's extremely cruel, to be honest I would go as far as to say if you know who she is getting it from you should probably contact them anonymously and warn them of the reality of her situation. Pets4Homes is not a safe or moral place to find a pet anyway, backstreet breeders are rife and I've heard some absolute horror stories. It's a dangerous way to go about finding a pet. If she wants a dog why can't she volunteer with a local rescue centre - you get to walk the dogs every weekend and play with them and socialise them, it's brilliant fun. Or sign up to a dog walking agency? I'm sorry but things like this make me so angry, it really is nothing short of animal cruelty to get a pet go out to work all day and not even arrange for someone else to come and let it out and spend time with it. You should be firm about this - she will ruin her own life and that of the poor dog.

Original poster
thesleepystorm · 23/08/2017 16:58

I'm sure plenty of people are thinking what I'm saying but she has a reputation for being difficult so I doubt anyone is going to want to back me up

OP posts:
isthismummy · 23/08/2017 16:59

Unless she sticks it in a crate for 12 hours a day...which she probably will☹️

BakedBeans47 · 23/08/2017 16:59

She sounds like a complete idiot.

Even if it was futile I would have to say something so at least you know you have done what you can to stop the dog from living a life of misery.

Original poster
thesleepystorm · 23/08/2017 17:01

I doubt she'd want a crate messing up her decor

OP posts:
Raindancer411 · 23/08/2017 17:03

I am sure it will end up a yappy dog if just left indoors all day. Unless you are going to give the place she lets a heads up, I am sure another neighbour will.

I would personally never have a dog if I couldn't afford vet fees or insurance. The amount of money I have spent on mine and vets lately is silly, they do charge.

I feel for the dog if that is her view to any vet fees. It will end up pushed from pillow to post :(

Violetcharlotte · 23/08/2017 17:03

I think you should definitely try your best to have a conversation about it and see if you can reason with her. She may not listen at the end of the day, but I think you should have a go. Poor dog, you can just see how this will turn out can't you? Poor thing will end up at a rescue in a few months time 😢

GarkandGookin · 23/08/2017 17:07

I was going to repeat a lot of what others are saying (especially as I have volunteered in a shelter and seen how hard it is to rehome unsocialised, non house-trained, terrified of the world dogs )but I have just had a really chilling thought. If she is going to keep the dog indoors will she even bother with jabs? My mum watched a puppy die from parvo when she was a girl and it still upsets her. (But my mother doesn't see dogs as glorified stuffed toys Hmm )

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