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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that you don't start eating before everyone's been served?

125 replies

lucydogz · 23/08/2017 13:39

We had a large family party, and lunch was baked potatoes, salad and cold meat etc. I think that you just don't start digging in before everyone's served (especially as the food is cold alread). By the time I'd sat down, a couple of people had all but finished. AIBU to think that adults should be able to wait a bit before tucking in?

OP posts:
Happytobefree17 · 23/08/2017 13:41

How long did it take you to sit down that they had enough time to finish eating? Shock

Unless they ate in super human quick time then I'd say it was rude to take so long to join the table.

Nikephorus · 23/08/2017 13:41

It depends - how long were you faffing around before sitting down? 2 mins - they should have waited, 10 mins - their potatoes would be cold. If a couple have almost finished then you obviously took your time.

supersop60 · 23/08/2017 13:41

The general rule is that you may start eating if the food is hot, but it must have made you fed up after you had served everyone, that they weren't polite enough to wait for you. YANBU.

Bluntness100 · 23/08/2017 13:42

In this context I'm not sure. Normally yes you wait, but if it took you so long they had pretty much finished then I think it was reasonable for them to eat.

Original poster
lucydogz · 23/08/2017 13:43

it was about 2 minutes! I'm not a faffer, especially when it comes to food!

OP posts:
coddiwomple · 23/08/2017 13:43

Even my kids nursery teaches them to wait for everybody to be served before they start eating, and they are as young as 2.

YANBU but table manners seem to be on the decline unfortunately

QueenOfVipers · 23/08/2017 13:43

YABU,
If you took so long that multiple people could finish their meals then I understand why people were eating.
I get it must've felt a bit crap being last as you'd served everyone and no one waited but I still think you're U to think they owed you that.

supersop60 · 23/08/2017 13:43

If OP was serving the food - how can that be faffing? unless OP was washing up, wiping down etc

Scotinoz · 23/08/2017 13:43

Generally, is say it's polite to wait until everyone is served and seated. However, if it's a large group then I think it's okay to start if the people around you have been served.

Laiste · 23/08/2017 13:45

I'd always wait until the host sits down to eat.

Namechangetempissue · 23/08/2017 13:45

I usually tell people to start rather than sitting and waiting for me to get my food. They really ate a whole jacket with trimmings in 2 minutes? Bloody hell that is quite impressive!

Dawnedlightly · 23/08/2017 13:46

If I'm faffing serving I tell them to tuck in. Nothing more annoying than trying to get my shit together with several pairs of greedy eyes willing me to hurry up.
Except being asked for seconds before I've sat down. So a) hurry up and b) tell them to go ahead.

KatsutheClockworkOctopus · 23/08/2017 13:47

I always tell people to get started once they have their food - it seems pointless them sitting looking at their rapidly cooling meal while I sort out DS/me.

Also, if I waited for DH's family tosit down I would starve to death as they are all gold plated faffers and seem to take "food's ready" as a cue to go off and do random things or start on the washing up!

BenLui · 23/08/2017 13:47

I always wait as do my DC

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 23/08/2017 13:49

I always tell people to get stuck in, there's no standing on ceremony hereGrin.

Brownsauceandsausages · 23/08/2017 13:51

YANBU. I've never heard of a general rule that says it is ok to start eating hot food before everyone is served. I was always taught that that is very impolite. Correct etiquette is to wait for everyone to start at the same time. The only exception would be if the host invited everyone to start eating for fear of it all getting cold. But it's the host 's call. And doesn't apply at a restaurant.

saveforthat · 23/08/2017 13:53

The general rule is not to start until all seated even if food is hot. Anything else is bad manners. Sadly I see this a lot nowadays

Nikephorus · 23/08/2017 13:54

Surely if it was salad & cold meat & baked pot. you'd either stick it on all the plates before & then when they're all done hand them out or do a help yourself at the table - either way it won't take more than a minute to give out plates so no way could anyone have nearly finished. Either you were faffing for ages in the kitchen or you're miffed that a couple of people have started the second their plates hit the table (which is fine to complain about but isn't the same as "all but finished".
It doesn't add up!

WizardOfToss · 23/08/2017 13:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bluntness100 · 23/08/2017 13:57

It must have been a very small meal if they could eat it all in two mins? Most folks can't eat a baked potato, salad and meats in two mins, that's like competitive eating!

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 23/08/2017 13:58

Unless they ate in super human quick time then I'd say it was rude to take so long to join the table.

What is wrong with MN sometimes? Why are people so quick to pick holes and blame the OP.

Yes OP it is rude to start before the person has actually prepared the food sits down. You're not a bloody servant!

Hillingdon · 23/08/2017 14:02

I have a relative who does this. She is grossly overweight and as soon as she sees the food arriving she serves herself and starts eating. Xmas dinner is always slower to serve and she was literally shovelling food in and was asking for seconds just as I sat down.

I suspect no one has ever told her its rude

PinkHeart5911 · 23/08/2017 14:02

I doubt someone finished the meal in just 2 minutes, unless you had the borrowers over.

It wouldn't really bother me tbh, if someone wants to tuck in then why not? I can't get worked up about it

paap1975 · 23/08/2017 14:02

It is very rude to eat before everyone has been served. Not to mention disrespectful to the person who has prepared the meal!

GnomeDePlume · 23/08/2017 14:03

Used to have this with PIL. Solved the problem by not putting any cutlery down until we all sat down at the table!

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