to think that you don't start eating before everyone's been served?

[lucydogz]

We had a large family party, and lunch was baked potatoes, salad and cold meat etc. I think that you just don't start digging in before everyone's served (especially as the food is cold alread). By the time I'd sat down, a couple of people had all but finished. AIBU to think that adults should be able to wait a bit before tucking in?

Anyone who thinks its incredible that people have finished their meal in 2 minutes hasn't met my husband..... just saying!

I find it rude when people start eating before I have finished serving...

It doesn't matter how long someone is faffing it's good manners to wait. Rude. If it was my family I would jokingly as you to hurry up but I wouldn't start without you.

YANBU. My parents have friends who wolf their food down while everyone else is being served and then start prowling for seconds. It's really rude.

I hate when my hot food starts to get cold. I'd rather get served last. I'd say anyone mind if we just start. And then start before they had a chance to answer. But if it's going to take a while then the person serving usually says just start everyone.

Yanbu. It's rude. DH does this too usually while I'm getting the 3 year old's hands washed.

It is rude.

However if the jacket potatoes had cooled down enough to be eaten and the rest of the meal all but eaten then there.must have been an awful lot of faffing about going on.

It's rude.

Grown ups should know to wait.

I wouldn't bother hosting them for a meal in the future.

VivienneMary - people will say "of course" to be polite to you, but it's still rude to ask if you can start. Just wait, if it's a big family get-together rather than a daily meal, then you can cope with one slightly colder meal than you'd prefer to avoid being rude to your host. You eat a meal in a Mitchellin starred restaurant for the quality of the meal, you eat a meal with extended family in order to share time with them - the focus of that situation should never be the quality of the food.

YANBU It's very rude to start to eat until everyone has their food (especially the host!). The only exception is if the host invites people to eat straight away.

In a house - when everyone's sat down.

In a restaurant - when your friend who's waiting for their food still kindly says 'Go on everyone, don't wait for me!'.

Its rude. It annoys me. My inlaws do this.

It is very rude to eat before everyone at the table has been served. This is the reason I always serve FIL last on Christmas Day.

This is one of my pet peeves, I wouldn't start eating until the host/chef has their food and is ready to eat - unless they tell everyone to start (and even then I feel uncomfortable, but that's my own issue...)

Rude I'm shocked how many people think it's ok

It wasn't clear in the OP whether she was the one serving or it was a buffet style queue up job. I pictured the latter for some reason.

All meat and salad on table for people to help themselves (everybody seated round table) and all I had to do was hand out potatoes and get to my seat.

Can i also add it is probably equally rude for the host to keep everyone waiting too.
My mum has such an annoying habit of just not sitting down. Usually wiping surfaces or checking the oven or suddenly remembering drinks changing the shelf in the oven that the pudding is on or trying to find sauces in the fridge or getting in a flap about the position of someone's glass on the table

I don't. I'll wait for my food to get cold if I have to. I just feel extremely uncomfortable eating before everyone else is ready. Of course it is also rude to take too long to join the table.

Well I'm not eating a cold meal for anyone. And if they think I'm rude then they don't need to invite me again. (Great news.) And withholding cutlery?? Next time I'd take my own in my bag.

*I have a relative who does this. She is grossly overweight and as soon as she sees the food arriving she serves herself and starts eating. Xmas dinner is always slower to serve and she was literally shovelling food in and was asking for seconds just as I sat down.

I suspect no one has ever told her its rude*

I can beat that.

Invited for a family meal, told food would be ready at 5.30. Arrive at 5 to find everyone had eaten and there were only leftovers for 5 of us. Apparently x was hungry so they'd decided to eat early.

Wasn't a one off either. We always eat first now when we're invited round, or say we'll pop in but don't need to eat.

The rest of the family don't seem to see anything wrong with indulging her.

I would wait until everyone is sitting down ready to eat...but would also expect the host to tell everyone to start eating if they're faffing....particularly if the food is hot...

I've noticed recently that I'm in the minority though and most people just start eating...

I think there was probably a bit of a misunderstanding there then. Like at a BBQ, when you take your food from a communal table then get handed out a burger etc from whoever is doing the BBQ. Most people would start eating straightaway I would have thought.

Then that literally does not make sense cos that bareky even gives time to put butter on the potato let alone finish the meal.

Somethings not adding up

I never even realised this was a rule until i was in my thirties.

DH does this too usually while I'm getting the 3 year old's hands washed
Wouldn't it be more sensible to get hands washed before starting to dish up?! One of you could sort the hand-washing while the other sorts the food. Net result = clean hands, food still hot.

all I had to do was hand out potatoes and get to my seat.
In that case, unless you were feeding the 5,000, you'd exaggerated in your OP!