to think that you don't start eating before everyone's been served?

[lucydogz]

We had a large family party, and lunch was baked potatoes, salad and cold meat etc. I think that you just don't start digging in before everyone's served (especially as the food is cold alread). By the time I'd sat down, a couple of people had all but finished. AIBU to think that adults should be able to wait a bit before tucking in?

I do think everyone should eat together , so wait until everyone is served / seated

However my DH normally decides when I have told everyone that dinner is ready that he has to unpack a bag / send email etc etc in which case I get everyone to start and tell him I am binning his dinner. The faffing is way worse than starting eating...

Honestly I think if someone can eat a baked potato, salad and meats in literally two mins, the time it takes you to pass round the potatoes, then there is bigger issues at play with those people than the fact they don't wait.

Also the fact it takes them less than two mins means it makes no difference if they wait or not, you'd just have started and they'd have finished anyway.

I would always wait. Except at my MILs house as she likes to serve everyone then think about drinks, see if anyone needs anything else, check on pudding, consolidate what's still in the serving dishes ready for seconds etc etc.
If we waited for her before eating we'd never start! It doesn't sit well with me but she genuinely seems to prefer hovering around to sitting down with us.

In my family we had to wait for everyone to sit down, where as DH's family don't. Was really annoying though as my DF faffs!

OP - never go to Wagamamas!

I can't start before everyone else has been served as I hate people concteating on me eating whilst waiting for their food.

That's hard to explain to people in RL abs they just look at you like a twat. I hate it when people try to insist me start whilst waiting for others food!

Just as you sit down, you need to say 'Now X, will you just say grace' in the manner of Sheldon's mother from BBT

In my family you wait until everyone has their food unless those without food tell you it's ok to start. Apart from a buffet then you just go for it pig in trough style.

If it was a 'large family party' then it would have taken ages for everyone to be served. Maybe it was 2 mins between you and the last person, not you and first person.

Sorry at a large, relaxed family party, jackets, cold meats, self service? Then I would think you graze and eat and when you want. Was it sit down round a table? Or lap food?

have a relative who does this. She is grossly overweight and as soon as she sees the food arriving she serves herself and starts eating.

What has someone's weight got to do with anything

The correct original etiquette was to begin eating if the food is hot but if its a cold course, you wait until everyone has a dish in front of them.

However, if one person is a faffer, then IMO, etiquette can go out the window. DP takes my saying "dinner's nearly ready" as a cue to go to the shop/ wash the car or log in to send a few emails. So his gets dished up and he can eat it when he returns and luckily has never dared to complain it's stone cold. Or he'd be wearing it. I blame his mother and the fact she boils everything for 4 hours for him thinking dinners take half the day to cook.

My mother frequently announces dinner is ready when it actually isn't so she assumes we are going to take forever to sit down only for us to sit down and wait ages

I don't understand - if you were only two minutes how come some of the party had pretty much finished their meal?

Something doesn't add up.

If you sat down to eat as soon as handing out all the potatoes, how would they be eaten?

The correct original etiquette was to begin eating if the food is hot but if its a cold course, you wait until everyone has a dish in front of them

What if it's jacket potatoes (hot) and cold meat/ salad (cold)?

What if it's jacket potatoes (hot) and cold meat/ salad (cold)?

That I don't know, Merry. To me the OP's meal sounds more like a buffet style affair rather than a sit down meal so maybe that's why people started as soon as some of the food was there.

Yes it is polite to wait, but not always practical.
My exDSiL always used to faff once everyone else had been served, she'd decide to start chopping up more salad for herself and get upset if we didn't wait.
Thank heavens my DB left her

I cooked for someone a few years back, they spent the whole time stood at the kitchen door talking to me. I dished up (everyone's food), was bringing his in and he's walking behind me picking at the food with his hands!
Went back to get everyone else's and he continued telling everyone 'I'm waiting for you all to eat' whilst picking at his food When everyone had been served, his meal looked tiny in comparison!

Were they picking at the meat/salad/sorting out their potatoes whilst you were sorting out? or were they full on knife and fork eating?

All meat and salad on table for people to help themselves (everybody seated round table)

You do at wagamama

full on knives and forks eating

Really want a baked potato now

*what has someone's weight got to do anything

It's designed to reinforce the idea that overweight people are selfish and greedy, of course.*

Don't forget no self-control.