Aibu to think that stbxhs gf has a hell of a cheek?

[QueenOfVipers]

STBXH pays maintanence based on his income. It's a large amount because his income is large, it's the cms minimum.
Private arrangement, but based on that calculation.

We co parent well, and he is happy to pay this amount plus he does an online shop once a month with stuff for our DD. Nappies, baby food, toiletries etc before and now that she's a bit older, some nice treats, a couple of staple items and sometimes a nice toy or magazine or some glitter pens if they stock them and around Mother's Day he also sent a bunch of flowers and a bottle of wine which was lovely of him. He also takes her to a soft play group which he pays for and he gives me a small cut of his yearly bonus. About 5%, to go towards something for DD.
this has been the case for the last 2 years on the first year it went towards a few experience days and museum visits and a trip away for myself and DD which STBXH was happy with this year it's gone on DDs first proper bed. (She did have one of those cots you can turn into a bed until this year).

We sometimes go out together - with DD and his GF too. Nothing dodgy, just maybe go and feed the ducks and have lunch together. We (STBXH and I) think it's good for DC to spend some time with us all together once a fortnight or so. Gf is very welcome in this btw. I'd never stop her coming.

GF can be very snide about me.
She has made a few comments and has snubbed me when I've bumped into her alone. I get it, she dislikes me, she doesn't have to be around me (while she is invited out with STBXH, dd and I she never has to come, it's an invite not a summons as mn would say).
But if she wants to be around me I will be nice and civil.
Yesterday we all took DD out and while DD was feeding the ducks we were sat on a bench watching her from about 6M away. STBXH went to the toilet so it was just me and GF.
Gf said she wanted to have a word with me about something, I said well er go ahead then.
Gf then started ranting for a couple of minutes about how I take all of STBXH s money and she thinks I trapped him (we were married for 10 years ) she thinks he's far too generous and he should just leave me destitute and if it's up to her DD will lose her dad when she gets pregnant and they will replace her.
She's sick of not having money for x y and z as we "take it all" from him and she hopes I fuck off soon.

I just replied actually I don't take anything, he pays the cms calculated amount and provides some extras at his own will. He likes to provide for his child well and see her in a good environment rather than us struggling, if you hate me so much you'd probably be better off leaving STBXH name because dd is a permanent fixture, much like STBXH involvement with us is.

She stalked off towards the toilets as STBXH came out, said something to him and looked like she was crying. I got dd and went over to talk to STBXH and he said I dunno wtf her problem is but I better go and find out and walked off. Dd and I came home and he hasn't said anything about the incident.
I'm honestly shocked at this level of venom.

Aibu to think she's a 18 carat dickhead?

Wooh hoo way to go STBXH, he is a perfect example of how it should be! No you did not cause any break up, he realised what this woman was about and that she was no good, so dumped her! Its fantastic he is putting his dd before any relationship.

I don't think she will be coming back anytime soon.

Good on STBXH. It's good to hear of good dads every so often.

What a great partnership as parents you both make.
Your child will always know how loved they are by both of you..

Great Update.

Well done stbx for telling her where to go. She is toxic and neither of you could really trust her ever again. I do hope she stays in her huff and never comes back.

She caused this by her venomous outburst not you, she has an agenda and its been stopped, thanks goodness.

I hope she doesnt breed. What a rubbish situation fo be in. A nasty lady. Im pleased that dd and her dads relationship isnt going to be affected

It's so nice to read about a good father on here. There are sadly too many selfish bastards who think that their role in parenting ends when they've pulled out after spilling their seed.

It's also lovely to hear that you and ex have an excellent co-parenting relationship.

Thanks for the update. Don't feel guilty, it's all on the gf's head.

That's great news!

Great update! I reckon she's been chipping away a bit a time at stbxh, trying to get him to pay less/reduce contact/stop seeing you. She's had no luck with him so lashed out at you to try and drive you away. I wonder if he's actually used you and the maintenance payments as a bit of an excuse at times when she's been tapping him up for something extravagant! I can't see why else she would even care if it's such a low proportion of his earnings. Anyway it's sorted now and I doubt she'll try it again.

For what it's worth, I don't think another woman can ever take a good dad away from his kids. If they are so easily led by a wicked stepmother type, they obviously weren't great parents in the first place.

You sound like fantastic parents. She sounds like a nasty, insecure, immature drama llama. Hope your ex tell her to do one!

Firstly I think the relationship you and ex-hubby have is brilliant for your daughter, kudos to you both.
As for his GF, she sounds very jealous & spiteful! I would have a word with Ex-hubby about what she said, and it sounds like she could very well trap him & get pregnant on purpose, but if not on purpose, if they do decide to have a child together, you can bet your last pound she will do her best to push your child out.

Op- I'm glad your ex had done the right thing.
So many men forsake their children when a new woman comes along.

God you and your ex are a breath of fresh air op, so nice to see two people parent together as you do

He gives you large amounts of money as well as buying everything your DD needs, gives you part of his bonus AND you all have family days out together.

Yes, he does sound very generous, but if I was the new girlfriend, id think it was excessive too. Not the maintenance payments, but everything else too. She is probably feeling pretty insecure as to her place in his life.

Tough. If she behaved better she'd know he cared for her and there was no need for insecurity.

bran
Everything my dd needs? Where'd you get that idea?
What, like some yoghurts, a packet of cheese strings, a note pad and some pens (she goes through a lot, she likes to doodle and it keeps it off the walls ) which is what he bought for her this week.
She isn't/wasn't a "new" girlfriend either. Unless you count 2yrs as new.
The "large amounts of money" are a % of his (very large income) and is the CS minimum.
He doesn't buy anything close to all she needs (and I don't think he should either) but it's a token amount that helps him feel involved. I still do plenty of grocery shopping, bill paying and days out at my own expense.
Generous and kind, yes. Excessive? I don't think so. I'd want to do the same if the situation was reversed.

I can't understand a woman who would demand that, nor a man who would agree to it.

Nor can I but it does happen. Much more often than you would think.

I was told this: Man and woman marry. She has a brain tumour, it's resolved and they go on to have three children. The brain tumour sadly comes back after 18 years. He pisses off to the woman he just met online. She dies about 10 months later. He doesn't want his children by her. They are cared for by her family.

Who the fuck does this?

Elendon, what do you mean you were told this?

Did that happen, or is it meant to be a proverb or something?

It happened in the town I live in. I was honestly shocked.

I was told this by people who knew her and I didn't know her. OK?

I did meet a woman in the hospital going for a CT scan, as was I.

She and I live in the same town also.

She had had a double mastectomy and was dying. We talked mainly about getting a bit of privacy when going for the scans. But she told me this:

On the day that she found out she had breast cancer, she told her husband. Over cups of tea and the dining table. He asked to be excused. He went upstairs and about 30 mins later came down with a bag packed and told her he was leaving her. They had been married for 25 years.

And yes, there was someone else waiting in the wings.

That poor woman died. All she wanted was to leave her sons something. Both her ex and his new partner denied her that (delayed everything).

Who does that?

Her chat with you is a true reflection of what she feels about you, your DD and the relationship your STBXH share. I will be more concerned about her being around DD now that she has opened up to you how she feels. Please have a honest chat with your STBXH .

branleuse that in noway excuses her toxic behaviour, especially towards an innocent little girl. The pays the cms calculated minimum, and buys stuff in the month for his dd! How is that excessive! He is the child's father, he should be buying these things. You have a low opinion of what fathers should do Bran

A small part of me hopes they don't break up. If she ends up single there's a chance she'll end up with another man who's a father, and maybe he won't be a decent man like OP's STBEXH.

Oh he still loves you, and if you hadn't realised that you're blind.

It's really great that you are putting dd first, I hope this woman moves on to someone else, she clearly hasn't failed to clock the fact the man she wants is still in love with someone else. She will slowly drive herself mad and the relationship will crumble under the strain even if she does dig her heels in. Maybe you should give him another shot, there are worst marriages to be in than ones based on mutual respect centered around making a stable home for your dd. If not can I have him? I'd be a much better step mum...Oh no wait I've already got one.

Elendon at the relevance to this thread.