Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

AIBU?

Friend smells.. wwyd?

108 replies

Jamylollypop88 · 21/08/2017 16:03

i have to get advice on how to tell my friend please.i don't want to be mean or sounds mean or upset her how but how on earth do you talk to someone about their personal hygiene? This has always been a issue on my part il admit because I'm the one with the issue but I have to talk her. She's never been much of a bather will happily go days with out washing and yes openly admits this. I'm not the only one who has noticed.
Right .. few weeks ago we went for a few drinks together after a few i popped to the loo and she followed me in and popped in cubicle next to me, she called me into the cubicle to zip her dress back up and omg I nearly vomited!
This sounds so mean but I had to hold my breath! 100percent no word of a lie! The smell of what can only be described as fish (old fish)was horrendous I can't even explain!
I got out side the bar and I vomited every where with the smell still in my nose sad I don't have any sensitivity to bad smells but it was unlike anything I have ever smelt. I need to tell her sad what the hell do I say?? WWUD? Repeat thread as may get better advice on here.

OP posts:

Report

Whataboutmeee · 21/08/2017 20:41

If she openly admits she doesn't wash for days, She knows she smells and she doesn't care.

gunsandbanjos · 21/08/2017 20:46

Fish odour is a recognised medical condition as a previous poster linked to.
If she has that then it must be dreadful for her.
If she's just a filthy mink then either tell her or don't see her again.

IDoDaChaCha · 21/08/2017 20:52

If she openly admits she doesn't wash for days, She knows she smells and she doesn't care.

^^ This

LadyDeLaFuente · 21/08/2017 20:52

My first thought was bacterial vaginosis as I'm sure that even if I didn't wash for days my bits would never smell that bad. I'd probably say something like: "this is a bit awkward but I've noticed an unpleasant smell and was worried it might be BV. Have you noticed anything unusual? You might want to see a doctor just in case."

I wouldn't mention others noticing it too unless she starts saying that no-one else has ever said anything, maybe it's just you, etc.

If it's not BV, she must be going for weeks without washing down there which is just gross and weird and I'm not sure I'd fancy meeting up anyway!

MrJohnsonAteMyCustard · 21/08/2017 21:01

flickertee Ah yes, fair enough. I know it's not a great idea to fling scented products at the female undercarriage. I'm a bit addicted to Imperial Leather products though as they smell fab, and occasionally some may find it's way onto my lady area

stormytherabbit · 21/08/2017 21:02

Why should anyone be worried about offendeding someone who proudly admits they DONT WASH? I couldn't care less about offended the soap dodgers.

skyzumarubble · 21/08/2017 21:08

Isn't there an illness that makes you smell of rotting fish - not BV something else.

Tiptoethr0ughthetulips · 21/08/2017 22:10

Why is everyone suggesting a medical condition? Poor hygiene and not changing underwear regularly will also cause foul odour.
You have to just bite the bullet and tell her. "I really don't want to embarrass you but I've noticed a certain smell about you are times this was particularly bad when I helped you with your dress. I hope you don't mind me telling you but I'd rather I did than have anyone else notice and be unkind."

justilou1 · 21/08/2017 23:44

We have a very "organic" friend who has very strong opinions on things like vaccinations, etc.... she doesn't shave her armpits or use antiperspirant and she lives in a hot, humid city. She is constantly telling us that the rock she waves under her armpits works as well as any deodorant, etc.... it was only when I was pregnant and she was jamming her opinions down my neck (she is childless too, btw) and I was already frazzled and feeling sick that I lost it and told her that her armpit rock did nothing for her smell and that everyone else talked about it behind her back, and it was about time someone braced up and told her to her face. She was a bit shocked, but wears a better one now.

Jedimum1 · 22/08/2017 00:55

Lol justilou, that made me chuckle.

LadyDeLaFuente · 22/08/2017 02:23

Tiptoe some of us are suggesting a medical problem because going a few days without washing (OP's words) doesn't normally cause such a strong fishy stench that it would cause someone to throw up.

Justilou I also have a friend who uses that totally ineffective rock instead of deodorant and only washes every couple of days and she is pretty whiffy too! Definitely not fishy though and she actually says a lot of men prefer her "earthy" smell!

LadyB49 · 22/08/2017 02:41

""Remember told me you often don't wash for a few days. I just gotta tell you straight that this isn't often enough. You probably aren't aware but I can smell your body odour. You really need to shower daily as every 3 - 4 days isn't working for you. Please don't be offended, you're my friend and I love you, and hope you'll tell me if it's ever necessary ""

justilou1 · 22/08/2017 06:02

It's either that or get everyone to band together and buy a massive gift basket with every possible kind of deodorant, wipes, shower gel, etc....

Just a thought - does she wash her clothes? Could be that as well!

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 22/08/2017 06:16

I knew someone who smelt terrible. Not fishy but really strong body odour. I never spoke to her about it as we really weren't close enough that I felt I could. I was told by someone else that she had a medical condition that meant she sweated more (which I believe) but, equally, her hair often looked a bit manky so I don't think she was washing enough. She used to come and put her arm around my shoulders. Had to get my friend to do subtle sniffs of my clothes to check for BO residue. 🤢

ShowMePotatoSalad · 22/08/2017 06:27

Why would she need to unzip her dress to have a wee? Was it a catsuit?

ihatetosay · 22/08/2017 06:31

buy a tin of deodorant and next time you are with her spray the entire contents over her. i am sure she will understand

littlebird77 · 22/08/2017 06:43

It will be an infection or illness, and she probably needs to be checked by a doctor.

However, I would not say a word. I can't think how you would even begin to tell her...or what it would do to your friendship afterwards....It will be the elephant in the room for all of eternity. It could quite possibly finish your friendship altogether.

Another route might be to suggest going for a smear? Suggest to her how important you think it it to keep up to date, book together or go with her and then let the nurse (grim moment for them) take care of telling her. I am sure they will say something if it is as bad as you say it is.

CaptWentworth · 22/08/2017 06:56

No nurse is going to tell someone, who is completely compos mentis, that they smell and need to wash At best she might get offered some PV swabs, but lecturing people on the importance of personal hygiene is not my remit.

Some people are just a bit wiffy.

Tiptoethr0ughthetulips · 22/08/2017 08:03

Lady, some women do have BV and some lack adequate personal hygiene. I have encountered both in my line of work, simple test before going to GP or PN as some are suggesting... have a bloody good wash, change underwear to clean preferably cotton variety. If smell improved job done, if not get swabbed.

Of course this requires the owner of the vagina to have some awareness which she doesn't seem to, therefore op needs to break it gently to her.

Hillingdon · 22/08/2017 13:38

Why are some trying to make excuses. I think some people just don't care. A number of PP are saying that they wouldn't say anything so actually that person who cannot be bothered carries on regardless.

Even if its medical not washing for days on end will not help at all!

I had a boyfriend many many years ago who thought anti persipant was for girls.. He lasted one date!

TinyRick · 22/08/2017 13:44

Jamylollypop88

TinyRick · 22/08/2017 13:50

Argh hit post button by mistake.

Anyway, OP, not sure how you could have mixed up a playsuit with a dress.

Weird

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Jamylollypop88 · 22/08/2017 14:27

A skort is a mini skirt with short like style underneath it's a play suit (catsuit type) really nice just pain to get on and off and she's a curvy chick :)

OP posts:

Jamylollypop88 · 22/08/2017 14:29

I will be biting the bullet very soon seeing her Saturday eve so il try to explain what I have noticed just need to think up ways to say it without hurting her feelings or making it embarrassing for her. This hasn't always been an issue only the last 5 years ild say

OP posts:

TinyRick · 22/08/2017 14:35

Nah a skort is a skirt with 'shorts' under it.

Never seen a playsuit with a skirt attached.

off to google

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.