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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or is my friend living on another planet?

361 replies

Mountainviewloo · 21/08/2017 10:38

A friend of mine I haven't seen for a while has asked to meet up at the weekend. She originally said could we meet for brunch and asked me to suggest a time and place so I suggested 11 somewhere central for both of us (this is a normal time for brunch right?!?!). She replied saying that was a bit early for her as she likes to sleep in at the weekend (fair enough, I did too pre-toddler), and suggested 1pm. I said fine.

She then a few hours later texted saying would I mind meeting for dinner instead as she'd forgotten she had a delivery coming. Again I said fine. She suggested we meet at 9pm. This to me is ridiculously late for dinner but whatever, I could live with it so I said fine, but just FYI I won't be able to bring DS (the original plan was for me to bring DS as she wanted to see him - this was her request, not mine as I'd much rather have a peaceful meal without him!).

She then said something along the lines of oh no why not, I really want to see him. I pointed out that 9pm was 2 hours past his bedtime. She then asked why I couldn't just keep him up. I explained that he would go into meltdown mode through overtiredness and no one would have a nice time.

She has now gone into a huff with me saying I am being difficult and he needs to be able to come "off routine" sometimes or he will be "impossible to manage" as he gets older.

Surely IANBU here?! I am not a dragon about his routine at all, but if I take him out for dinner at 9pm it will be hell for everyone involved. He's 18 months.

I haven't replied to her last message yet.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mountainviewloo · 21/08/2017 16:07

her reply:

"Yeah ok blame me. Not really sure why having a kid means you're suddenly the centre of the universe. Gone off meeting up. Maybe get in touch when you've grown up a bit."

I'm really upset, i have clearly done something to anger her

OP posts:
4691IrradiatedHaggis · 21/08/2017 16:08

"Yeah ok blame me. Not really sure why having a kid means you're suddenly the centre of the universe. Gone off meeting up. Maybe get in touch when you've grown up a bit."

What was that in reply to? Confused
She's not your friend. Bin her.

HouseworkIsASin10 · 21/08/2017 16:08

I would reply:

HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

HouseworkIsASin10 · 21/08/2017 16:08

Then block the stupid bint.

LaContessaDiPlump · 21/08/2017 16:10

Text back "You got in touch with me, you weirdo!!"

Sometimes less is more.

Original poster
Mountainviewloo · 21/08/2017 16:12

i don't think i'll reply to that. Not really sure what there is to say

OP posts:
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 21/08/2017 16:12

Just ignore her, don't text her back.

She's a tit, that much is clear.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 21/08/2017 16:14

You cannot win with someone who is so unreasonable. Is it worth talking to the mutual friend to find out if she knows wtf is going on?

Anatidae · 21/08/2017 16:14

Text back:

'Nothing I've asked is unreasonable. You can't have a toddler out at 9pm and you were the one to change our arrangement for your parcel delivery. I hope all is ok with you - it's not like you to be like this. Let's cancel the meeting.'

MusicToMyEars800 · 21/08/2017 16:15

Wow, not a great friend is she! She is clearly having some issues and is taking them out on you, as you've done nothing but try to accommodate her indecisiveness and chopping and changing.

She was harping on about her wanting to see your DS and now she is making snipes that you are parent Confused

Tell her she is the one who needs to do the growing up! If I were you i'd find some friends who don't expect you to run rings to suit them.

tiggersdontlikehoney · 21/08/2017 16:16

Bloody hell
Well clearly YOU are not the one with growing up to do
But to even write what she has, means she won't see that
And she has been going out of her way to pick a fight with you since the start
Best thing is to ignore, as she's feeding off the back and forth, let her stew in her own juices instead of trying to shower them on you
And honestly, even if she later apologised I'd probably ignore/block

4691IrradiatedHaggis · 21/08/2017 16:18

Best thing is to ignore, as she's feeding off the back and forth, let her stew in her own juices instead of trying to shower them on you

Absolutely. There's no reasoning or engaging when people are being like that. Leave her to it.

ssd · 21/08/2017 16:18

I'd reply "sorry to be such a disappointment to you but unfortunately I can't live my life around just me anymore"

and leave it at that

see who's the grown up now

NoSquirrels · 21/08/2017 16:20

Oof! She sounds extremely self-centred.

If it is an old, important friendship, I'd reply along lines of

"Sorry to hear that. If you change your mind, get in touch.

But I'd be pretty fucking livid, tbh. She must be deeply upset about something, but you won't find out if she's being such a monumental arsehole, so leave her to it.

ssd · 21/08/2017 16:21

just seen your op

A friend of mine I haven't seen for a while has asked to meet up at the weekend

the for a while speaks volumes.....

ChilliMary · 21/08/2017 16:21

She just completely talked down to you. Not acceptable in any way.

RandomMess · 21/08/2017 16:23

Nah she's being an arse bin her!

GissASquizz · 21/08/2017 16:28

She's horrendous. Time to ditch.

eloisesparkle · 21/08/2017 16:29

With a friend like that , who needs enemies!!!

Ignore and block.
You don't need her in your life.

AlternativeTentacle · 21/08/2017 16:32

'That's a bigger tantrum than my 18 month old would have if I had brought him to the 9pm meal. Well done! p.s...'Centres of the universe' don't usually change their arrangements 3 times to suit someone else, they are the ones demanding the changes so perhaps this says more about you than it ever says about me.'

AdalindSchade · 21/08/2017 16:35

Wow what a weirdo!

OMGBecky · 21/08/2017 16:38

Grown ups realize that babies sleep more than adults and have learned that sometimes you have to put someone else's needs above your own.

That would be the end of that friendship for me. She sounds like she's going through something, but you've been very kind and flexible and she's responded like an asshole at every turn.

Whocansay · 21/08/2017 16:40

I'd text back with 'Are you drunk?;'.

She's a self-absorbed idiot.

SmitheringSmithison · 21/08/2017 16:41

That's a bigger tantrum than my 18 month old would have if I had brought him to the 9pm meal. Well done! p.s...'Centres of the universe' don't usually change their arrangements 3 times to suit someone else, they are the ones demanding the changes so perhaps this says more about you than it ever says about me.'

^Grin

I would so send that! haha.

Unfortunately I had a friend who was very similar to yours op. It was all about trying to make me 'choose' them over my baby-all very odd. I disengaged and felt much better for it.

PollytheDolly · 21/08/2017 16:47

Fucks sake!!! Do as I say no as I do Angry

Didn't she mess you about twice before the 9pm time?

I'd block and ignore.

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