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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"I was in Barcelona two weeks ago...it could have been me!"

223 replies

PyongyangKipperbang · 18/08/2017 00:02

"But it couldnt have been because you werent there when it happened."

WIBU to have posted that in reply on FB? According to the amount of abuse I have had, I am. But I really dont think that I am!

The person concerned (a friend of a friend I sort of know) wasnt even in that area of Barcelona, and yet has done the old "OMG I must have a guardian angel!" thing.

I would have deleted them but they got in first, which is quite annoying.

OP posts:
Cantsleep12 · 18/08/2017 09:42

Yes that's the thing it's completely understandable that in your mind you can see yourself there & be unnerved by it.

My sis is moving to Barcelona in a week but neither she or any of our family would think to post anything about guardian angle BS on FB cause she is not there now so not involved.

I was on a tube on 7/7 & had to get off. However I was not on the affected carriage, or the affected train or the affected line. It didn't involve me & it's disrespectful to those who were affected to say otherwise.

KidLorneRoll · 18/08/2017 09:43

It's just how some people process things and yes, frankly I think if you have been to a place recently such events do resonate more as you have a picture in your head of how it normally looks.

I think it's pretty dickish to condemn people for it. Just ignore it if it bothers you.

user1497435493 · 18/08/2017 09:46

I can 'better' the attention seeking twats. My niece (20,) is there NOW, with her boyfriend, and had left Les Rambles an hour before it happened. But she has NOT mentioned it on social media, as she is still in shock about what has happened, and is worried she may not be able to get home for a while if flights are grounded or something.

She has had a few people message her on FB to say 'R U OK?' and she has just said 'yes fine thanks. Not posting on here much, see U when I get back.'

I think people just NEED to be part of something - even when they're not

PinkGlitter17 · 18/08/2017 09:46

I would of course think about the place, and that I'd been there myself. I'd reminisce about what it's like to be there, and what I did. No need to say it could have been me.

abigailgabble · 18/08/2017 09:48

I would just hit the cleansing unfriend button and move on with my life

IamAporcupine · 18/08/2017 09:51

Lots of people are saying it is ok to think about it that way, but not to post it.....so basically the problem is FB/social media as a way to express yourself/interact with people...

Siwdmae · 18/08/2017 09:52

It's ridiculous. My parents said this about the tsunami in Phuket because they'd been there the year before. My db's best mate was killed in it. I think they should stfu.

Freezingwinter · 18/08/2017 09:53

Sorry Yabu though, some people react differently to others. I'd have thoughts xa rly th the , it makes you realise how easily life can be taken away. It's scary.

Freezingwinter · 18/08/2017 09:54

*id have thought exactly the same

Mineshalfamilkstout · 18/08/2017 09:55

I think you can train yourself not to be so reactive to other people's "chatter". However it takes an effort for me irl that I just couldn't be bothered extending into social media.

HerOtherHalf · 18/08/2017 09:56

I think it's ridiculous too. However, the old adage about picking your battles springs to mind. What harm is this person doing to you with her statement that merits you getting directly involved and criticising her? Is what she posted so offensive that it merits others taking a moral stand against her? I would say not. Ignore and move on. Chastising her achieves nothing other than kicking off a completely pointless bun fight.

INeedABiggerBoat · 18/08/2017 09:58

YANBU. I was in Paris with friends when the terror attacks happened in 2015, and got very annoyed with one of my friends who was being a drama llama about it on social media. We were in a different part of Paris and were absolutely fine.

ShotsFired · 18/08/2017 10:02

How soon before we see people changing the FB profile picture with a Barcelona-related frame? I expect many of them are already #PrayingForBCN

FFS get a grip Hmm

PandorasXbox · 18/08/2017 10:02

Of course the problem is with SM. It has allowed people to become completely self absorbed in every detail of their life. Those who don't having people like that can block them if they like.

BewareOfDragons · 18/08/2017 10:03

I've been to almost all of the locations that have had terrorists drive through the crowds ... doesn't mean I would post something so ridiculous.

You were not being unreasonable to feel that way, but enough people will disagree that it's not worth doing it, especially if you want to keep your friend(s).

Luncharmstrong · 18/08/2017 10:10

Yanbu and well done for challenging it.

katronfon · 18/08/2017 10:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mineshalfamilkstout · 18/08/2017 10:22

Why "well done" for challenging it?

It not exactly adding anything to the sum of human happiness telling grown ups off. They are hardly likely to have an epiphany afterwards and think OPs views are correct.

I'd advise my kids in strong terms as I hope over time to have influence but not other adults.

RainyDayBear · 18/08/2017 11:10

I think there's a fine line between saying "We were there just last week, hits a bit close to home, thinking of all the families caught up in this" (absolutely fine in my opinion) and saying "oh god, we were there last week, it was so nearly us, must have had someone watching over us" (a bit OTT).

badtime · 18/08/2017 11:19

YANBU

Your acquaintance posted a ridiculous thing which some would see as offensive (why did she deserve a guardian angel when the people who died didn't?)

I'm from NI and when I was a kid the bottom of my street was blown up. Oh, and at a different time the next street was blown up. And there were many other bombs in my town which nobody in England ever heard about because we didn't matter . Nobody wen't around wailing about how it 'could have been them' because most people knew at least some people who had been directly affected by 'the troubles', and it would have seemed ridiculous.

ilovegin112 · 18/08/2017 11:34

In the era of the ira etc in Northern Ireland and here, you didn't have the me me generation that we have now, everyone just got on with life, as a previous person wrote it started when diana died

tearsinmyeyes · 18/08/2017 11:44

I don't think people are using a tragedy for themselves .
For example , I used to live abroad and there was a crèche facility right by the supermarket . I used to drop dds there frequently so I could go about my shopping .
When I left the country , a few months later there was a tragedy where the crèche burned down in a major fire which very sadly killed all the children and crèche workers there. It really hit a chord with me more than anyone else I know because I used to leave my dds there . Am I wrong for feeling extra upset about this ?

tearsinmyeyes · 18/08/2017 11:45

And fwiw I didn't go posting social media about it , but friends I spoke to I probably did mention , in genuine horror , 'I used to drop dds there '

HungerOfThePine · 18/08/2017 12:04

It is attention seeking op in the way it's posted, when it's more a passing thought that many of us that have been there/anywhere probably had but thats all it should be.

I was there a month ago, I have friends there and haven't drawn attention to that fact other than in this moment.

In my circle it gets used as a sign that I shouldn't travel anywhere in a tone that I would be irresponsible if I do.

My fb feed usually consists of open racism but I think I've managed to delete them all since the London events as I haven't seen any.

It's life and I won't stop living.
Nowhere is immune.Sad

Scattymere · 18/08/2017 12:11

YANBU. Even those hysterical, self infulgent, me me me Facebook "checking yourself in" after an attack in London when the odds you were caught up in it, being in major city are still like 1 in 9 million- do my head in, let alone this.

This is childish, attention seeking, self obsessive behavior and Facebook is useful in altering you to people like these on your friends list, and being able to remove them pronto.