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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"I was in Barcelona two weeks ago...it could have been me!"

223 replies

PyongyangKipperbang · 18/08/2017 00:02

"But it couldnt have been because you werent there when it happened."

WIBU to have posted that in reply on FB? According to the amount of abuse I have had, I am. But I really dont think that I am!

The person concerned (a friend of a friend I sort of know) wasnt even in that area of Barcelona, and yet has done the old "OMG I must have a guardian angel!" thing.

I would have deleted them but they got in first, which is quite annoying.

OP posts:
Flyingflipflop · 18/08/2017 07:14

I'm not sure it's worse going onto Facebook like your acquaintance did or coming on here boasting of how you put her in her place.

You both sound equally self centred.

SleepFreeZone · 18/08/2017 07:14

In future just delete these idiots. The day it is them they won't be in a position to update Facebook ever again

Youcanttaketheskyfromme · 18/08/2017 07:15

Some friends of mine were on their flight home during the German terror attacks after spending a week there and having visited the marked only hours before.

They didn't post anything as insensitive as that although they did confirm they were safe and had arrived home already.

PandorasXbox · 18/08/2017 07:15

Silly to say you were there 18 years ago so it could have been you. Someone who posts that they were there 2 weeks ago and it could have been them aren't exactly wrong. Isis could have planned the attack 2 weeks ago. When you were there 18 years ago Isis didn't exist.

Youcanttaketheskyfromme · 18/08/2017 07:16

Market*

Elledouble · 18/08/2017 07:16

I think it's the "could have been me" thing that is so distasteful. Apart from anything, when you consider the number of people who were in the vicinity at the time compared to those who weren't, the chance of being affected is vanishingly small. It's not a guardian angel. It's just probability.

It is always more shocking when these things happen in a place you know or have been to. I feel like if people were saying things like "such a shock to see the events in this beautiful friendly city we visited recently" it wouldn't grate so much.

Androidsdreamofelectricsheep · 18/08/2017 07:16

Brittbugs my DS (and thousands of others) works in London and I don't give it a thought. You can't live your life in fear of what might happen. Perhaps you need to remind your friend of this. If everyone took that view there wouldn't be any transport to London and nothing to do there!

TealStar · 18/08/2017 07:17

It's one thing feeling shock and pondering 'shit, it could have been me', and quite another to then take to social media about it.

ffffffsake · 18/08/2017 07:18

Attention seeking isn't it?

Like (in my case) OMG I was totes on Las Ramblas ten years ago, I'm so lucky it wasn't me yesterday!

Same applies to Borough Market and Houses of Parliament with just a week between me going and the HoP attack.

I was also up the WTC a couple of weeks before 9/11. I'm so excited to be aliiiiive!

Like I'm SO lucky my guardian angel loves ME when apparently the actual victims of the attack don't have angels to look after them for some reason.

Ugh.

Groovee · 18/08/2017 07:30

I know someone who was in Barcelona yesterday morning and will try to make it all about him. He did after Manchester Arena even though he had no plans to be there on the night.

My first thought was for my friend who had posted she was going there yesterday. She's safe. But numerous friend's have children visiting and they were obviously concerned as to their safety.

Bahhhhhumbug · 18/08/2017 07:31

Yes zigzag that seems to be their strategy. I think they are trying to go through all the popular with westerners destinations personally atm. Trying to make them all no go areas. But they won't succeed as a PP said in a few weeks this won't be in the forefront of people's minds and normality and going to the same places we've always gone soon returns. Except of course for those directly affected.

adviceadviceasvice · 18/08/2017 07:33

I think YABU.

blubberball · 18/08/2017 07:35

I agree. Where were the victims guardian angels, and what makes everyone else so special?

I actually have guilt for surviving to my early 30s, when I think about all the people who didn't make it for whatever reason. I know that's probably not a healthy way to think, and I do have depression, but I don't know why people believe in God/guardian angels, because where were they when poor people die violent premature deaths for no reason, other than being unfortunate enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time?

Nomoreboomandbust · 18/08/2017 07:36

It's very attention seeking op and I bet you posted just what everyone thought but didn't say. Good on you.

fuckwitery · 18/08/2017 07:43

She inbu to be feeling something as the attack was somewhere she recently was. She wbu to post about it on fb to get attention therefore ywnbu to post what you did.

Believeitornot · 18/08/2017 07:47

There's one thing to think that in your head but it's quite another to actually publicly post it.

I missed the tube for the London bombings because I decided to get out and walk as there were delays on the line. Well I don't know what exact tube it was but I remember at the time thinking about it at the time, thinking it was close. Same for Westminster because I would walk over the bridge at that time and had done a few days before.

But I knew I was being silly because actually I was not there and thank fuck I wasn't.

This world feels a bit shit at the moment. Let's not start fighting about silly stuff and try and pressure our government to actually tackling this issue. Spying on terrorists social media isn't enough.

NotPennysBoat815 · 18/08/2017 07:47

I've mentioned this on here before.
When I was a teenager there was an active serial killer in the closest city to us. He exclusively killed sex workers. So many girls talked and talked about how they thought they could be the next victim. They said they were so frightened of it they had to to keep leaving lessons to go speak to the school nurse about it Confused. There wasn't a single chance that they could get caught up in the murders. Women (some of them with children) had been killed. Sex workers were still going out on the street because they needed to make money despite the risk and these silly girls made it all about them.

Undercoverbanana · 18/08/2017 07:50

I went to Paris in 1984.

I went to Barcelona in 1998.

I went to Tunisia in 2003.

I went to a funeral in Manchester a couple of years ago.

I go to Borough Market when I go to London.

I must have a guardian angel.

FFS.

Crunchymum · 18/08/2017 07:54

I remember having a conversation with a friend from up North, immediately after the Westminster attack (I mean that afternoon)
Friend: OMG I'm meant to be coming into Liverpool Street on Friday
Me: It will be fine
Friend: I'll be so nervous. It's so scary.
Me: imagine how I feel
Friend: what do you mean?
Me: well I'm in London right now
Friend: but you don't live or work near Westminster???

Shock

People become stupid and selfish in situations like this.

whyhastherumgone · 18/08/2017 07:55

YANBU It always comes across as people trying to divert attention to themselves and "get in" on something.

i disagree with those who say the "in safe" function is stupid - plenty of people i know don't live in London but marked themselves safe as the work there or were there for the day. And in the aftermath family and friends do turn to social media to find missing loved ones so to me it's a great function. Unless you are talking about people who mark themselves safe who were nowhere near the place of an attack at all, in which case i take it all back, they are idiots.

LakieLady · 18/08/2017 07:56

It is since bloody Diana died suddenly thinking 'how sad' isn't enough, you have to be seen to be publicly grieving, laying flowers, adding a Spanish/French flag /I love Manchester profile picture on Facebook and declare your sympathy on Facebook. If you don't you are a callous heartless bastard. I remember thinking when people were having the screaming abdabs over Diana's death, the world has gone crazy, this mass orchestrated pseudo grief. Sadly similar self serving acts of emotional incontinence are the norm when ever there's a newsworthy death.

Top post, Boys!

Anyway, I must have a host of guardian angels as I have been near terrorist incidents 3 times. And I used to live in Croydon, so I could easily have been on the tram that crashed. But I'm ok, hun. Wink

Gwilt160981 · 18/08/2017 07:56

I was there a few months ago on holiday. I dont think you're being unreasonable. You always get the odd few on Facebook who are always on the defense.

PacificDogwod · 18/08/2017 07:56

Hm.
I think YANBU when one thinks about it rationally - and I love Undercoverbanana's which perfectly illustrates what nonsense the sentiment expressed is.

Otoh, I agree that it will just more real to some people because they have just recently visited a place that has now been attacked. It does help them process - and there is a degree of morbid glee going on as well of course. "How exciting!" Hmm

I was in Boston on 9/11 and it was surreal.
I still don't really have the words to describe what it was like to see the planes going in to the 2nd tower live on TV.

OliviaStabler · 18/08/2017 07:58

When a horrible thing like this happens surely you dont make it all about you?!

I don't personally but there are others that will reflect on it that way. I don't see it as not caring about others who were caught up in the attack, I see it as people sharing how they are feeling with friends. I would assume the person posting was horrified about what happened, as we all are.

I missed the Westminster attack by about 2 minutes. My main thoughts and feelings were with those who died, were injured and who witnessed the attack. However I did spend some time reflecting on how close I came to to being caught up in the attack. Would I post that on Facebook? No I would not but others are not the same as me.

Ratonastick · 18/08/2017 07:59

I couldn't agree more. I have a friend like this, has to make everything about herself. I work very close to Westminster and watched much of the emergency response from my office window. A bit nerve wracking and I checked in with my mum when I saw my office building on tv.

I'm not on Facebook, but I discovered some weeks later that my friend wrote a heartfelt post about how terrified she was for me and how my proximity brought it so close to home, etc. All ok except she didn't actually ring or text me at any point to see if I was actually impacted in any way. Drama llama.