Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"I was in Barcelona two weeks ago...it could have been me!"

223 replies

PyongyangKipperbang · 18/08/2017 00:02

"But it couldnt have been because you werent there when it happened."

WIBU to have posted that in reply on FB? According to the amount of abuse I have had, I am. But I really dont think that I am!

The person concerned (a friend of a friend I sort of know) wasnt even in that area of Barcelona, and yet has done the old "OMG I must have a guardian angel!" thing.

I would have deleted them but they got in first, which is quite annoying.

OP posts:
PacificDogwod · 18/08/2017 07:59

Thinking about how random things can be is valid IMO.

The grief exhibitionism not so much.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 18/08/2017 08:01

YANBU. It was an awful attack and people of course are shocked and have different ways of expressing it, but they tend to be rubbish at quantifying and analysing risk. dh was very close to the Westminster attack, working in London, I'm frequently there and walk across the bridge a lot as tens of thousands of people do every day. People forget that others have to live day to day lives where these attacks have happened.

ssd · 18/08/2017 08:02

YANBU at all

one more reason I hate FB

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 18/08/2017 08:02

YANBU.

I had a family member injured in the Brough Market attack. A neighbour's reaction when they heard was 'we were there last month it could have been us'

Some people don't think before typing it opening their mouths!

wowfudge · 18/08/2017 08:03

I agree with you OP, however with all of these attacks it could so easily be any of us, anywhere these days. As for the Facebook safe marking, I'm pretty sure this is something you can opt to do when you are asked if you are okay - Facebook enable it.

Elendon · 18/08/2017 08:03

YANBU at all. Love the video posted.

Minkyfluffster · 18/08/2017 08:04

When somewhere very familiar to you is attacked like this it really brings it home how vulnerable we are and its natural to relate it to when when you were last there.

We live in times were terrorists wants to kill us and our children so how about we be kind to one another?

bruffin · 18/08/2017 08:05

Yabu, think you are just as bad dor this op. Really unpleasant and unecessary.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 18/08/2017 08:05

Genuine "it could have been me's"

A great, great something or other uncle of a friend who missed the sailing of the Titanic (yes really, he was booked on it and didn't get there before it sailed)

A colleague swithering about which flights he and his family would take to get home from the south of France who opted for one before rather than after 14 July 2016 because if he had stayed for Bastille day they would have been on the Promenade des Anglais.

YANBU

Katinkka · 18/08/2017 08:11

I think YABU. If I had been there recently it would feel much more 'closer' in a way to me than it does with me having never been there in my life.

Undercoverbanana · 18/08/2017 08:15

This brings to mind a conversation with the mother when Madeleine McCann disappeared:

DM: Oh my God - we've stayed there!
Me: Where Mum?
DM: Where this happened!
Me: Really? In those apartments?
DM: No - but near Praia de Luz. 3 years ago. I could have been us!
Me: But you don't have any children. (I'm an only child and 42 or
whatever age I was).
DM: Well, you never know. (Post menopausal woman clutches her chest in fear.)
Me: But it really wouldn't, would it Mum? Sit down.
DM: (Wringing hands) Oh my God! I've SEEN that Tapas bar! I KNOW that place! It could have been ME.
Me: Mum, you don't have any children. How can you have a child disappear if you don't have children and weren't even there at that time?
DM: But you might have been with us with your children! (Imagination getting out of control.)
Me: But DCs are teens and would have been eating with us and I can't imagine them being anywhere but where the food is (they are pigs).
DM: But you NEVER KNOW, DO YOU!!!!??????? (Mania taking hold.)
Me: Just sit down Mum.

I think that's the mentality here isn't it?

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 18/08/2017 08:18

YANBU and I love the video posted early on in this thread - exactly that.

OverTheHammer · 18/08/2017 08:18

I was speaking to someone last week who claimed to be "involved" in 9/11. My initial reaction was "omg! Where were you when it happened? In the towers or near them??" And they replied "Florida, but the theme parks were all closed as they thought they might be the next target" 🤔 Oh ... dodged a bullet there then 🙄

To be fair though I was watching the armed police sneaking through the Barcelona market last night on the news and I did think to myself "shit, we were in that same market a few years ago". I would never say it out loud or expect any attention for it however but my private thoughts were "if it had happened then ... "

Peanutbuttercheese · 18/08/2017 08:21

I think to have a thought in your head about it is not a surprise but to write on social media is horrific attention seeking behaviour.

PoorYorick · 18/08/2017 08:24

I once actually WAS in a cafe that got blown up two days later while I was still in the country. Did it scare me shitless, sure? Do I believe it was because I am divinely protected and all those maimed and murdered were not worth it? Bollocks do I. I may have commented on FB about it but only in terms of the political situation around it and not in a 'this situation is in fact about me' manner.

Cantsleep12 · 18/08/2017 08:26

I completely get how knowing an area/visiting it brings it home & makes it more real, it's ok to be upset by this. But posting it could of been me, blah blah I'm so glad I survived is attention seeking imo.

I saw an interesting documentary about a lady who lied about surviving 9/11 & got loads of press/attention. She went on to became the president of a survivors group. She wasn't even in the country at the time.

Katinkka · 18/08/2017 08:31

There's a book as well cantsleep. Worth reading. I found the whole thing fascinating.

BlindAssassin1 · 18/08/2017 08:31

My boss was in the vicinity of the 7/7 bombing and a colleague had been in the Twin Towers in New York the day before the attack. In both cases their 'it could have been me' conversations were more shock and a sentiment of gratitude that they were safe and well. So YAB a bit U.

Anything posted on FB is always filled with drama llamas and its best not to get involved in such nonsense.

creamcheeseandlox · 18/08/2017 08:32

YANBU. My dh got off the tube and tried to cycle his usual route down Westminster bridge literally 5 mins after the attack happened in march. THAT was a miracle he wasn't involved (I actually know someone who was hit directly by the van). But yes I also despise attention seekers making it all about them.

Fekko · 18/08/2017 08:37

It's very much the 'mememe' sentiment these days. That's one reason I don't use Facebook. I can't be bothered with all the self referencing rubbish.

PandorasXbox · 18/08/2017 08:38

I doubt there's not many people that wouldn't think " that could have been me " when there's some kind of disaster/terrror attack, it's human nature. The difference now is that everything gets put on sm.

user9512736123 · 18/08/2017 08:43

The guardian angel stuff is a bit daft but each to their own really. I just ignore and move on as fb is full of twattish stuff that I could waste my time on.

Fontella · 18/08/2017 08:44

I was in New York a week to the day before 9/11 and should have been been there on the day it happened, but various circumstances in the lead up to my visit, meant that the trip was brought forward.

In fact we had a big row at JFK because my pre-booked B.A. flight home to Manchester was full and I had to get a flight to Heathrow and then a shuttle and my sister (who lives in the US) was giving them a right telling off, so they upgraded me to business class.

I couldn't help thinking, if that had been a week later, I wouldn't have been able to get a flight at all - at least not for several days after the event.

Also, I saw it all unfold on TV here (with that surreal feeling of 'I was there a week ago today' ). Rang my sis in upstate New York and they didn't know anything about it, as it was earlier in the morning there. I told her to go turn on the TV. Again so surreal to think that they were just a few miles away and weren't aware it was happening ... and I was thousands of miles away phoning to tell her.

Timefortea99 · 18/08/2017 08:44

I lived in central London when the IRA were planting bombs, I cross Westminster Bridge on a very regular basis, regularly go to Borough Market. Jeez, I am lucky to be alive.

BringMeTea · 18/08/2017 08:45

All the thickos have this amazing outlet now. Annoyingly.