Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be angry at DH? *Title edited by MNHQ*

152 replies

gertiegildergoesbananas · 16/08/2017 19:12

I work full time but had taken a day's leave today as it's been mega stressful recently (miscarriage and a LOT on at work) and I wanted to spend a day with my son.

Anyway, I went out this morning to run errands with DS who's 3 and had taken chicken out to defrost for dinner at about 11am.

Came back later, tried to tidy up and get house organised.

DH came in and started to prep dinner and chicken hasn't defrosted through! He's just walked out in a huff and has gone to get himself dinner and hasn't even asked if I'd like anything. He'll probably sit at McDonald's and come back quite content and I'll be starving and I'm bathing DS and will be putting him to bed. I know there will be a chorus of "oh but just text him!" But surely it's rude to just leave someone dinnerless.i realise in the grand scheme of things this is a non problem but it's just selfish.

OP posts:
Dina1234 · 16/08/2017 20:04

What an epic arsehole-mind you, sometimes men turn into complete bastards when hungry. You have two choices-either spend a fortune on deliveroo or cry bitter tears wgen he gets home to make him feel bad. Maybe both.

Foxysoxy01 · 16/08/2017 20:05

I would be locking him out and hopefully he would get rather cold and wet sleeping on the doorstep but then I am quite good oriented.

Honestly he sounds awful!

Foxysoxy01 · 16/08/2017 20:05

*food oriented

TamanTun · 16/08/2017 20:05

Store this one up and pay it back. Karma

yawning801 · 16/08/2017 20:06

YANBU!!!!!!
Do you have a cat? I can just imagine the kebab accidentally being dropped in kitty litter...

ILoveMillhousesDad · 16/08/2017 20:08

Oh my god. His response of 'think what you want', has fucking ENRAGED me Angry

What the actual fuck!!!!!

HeyRoly · 16/08/2017 20:09

"think what you want"

I was prepared to think he was just having a sulk, but this is properly selfish and contemptuous.

Off you go to get yourself a nice takeaway too. Don't you dare play the martyr. If he can swan out and get whatever he wants, you can too.

user1500161471 · 16/08/2017 20:10

My now ex-husband did something similar. It was his turn to make dinner and to be fair, he did make dinner. For himself. When I called him out on it he had the cheek to say I could have it if I wanted as my sad face was putting him off his dinner.

Reason 645 of why he's now an ex 😂

UnicornSparkles1 · 16/08/2017 20:11

We're all thinking it, not just you OP. What a cunt.

AncoraAmarena · 16/08/2017 20:13

Once your DS is in bed, I would go out and get something to eat for yourself. Something lovely and sit in with it too, if possible.

It will give your husband something to think about while you've gone, I would hope.

My (ex) H used to do similar, frequently. One day I decided to take back the control myself and left before he had the chance to do so, leaving him with the children. He was outraged. Straight on the phone to me, demanding I return. I didn't. The feeling was so satisfying; he had felt just a little of how I had for all those times he did it and oh it felt good.

Any chance you can do that when you've sorted bedtime OP? (as your H obviously isn't going to sort it for you, I expect).

seven201 · 16/08/2017 20:13

Urgh. Sounds like thins isn't unusual behaviour for him Confused

Katedotness1963 · 16/08/2017 20:14

How unbelievably fucking selfish!!! Not a non problem at all, who does that to someone they love? And to bring it home to eat in front of you?? I hope it gives him the runs.

TroysMammy · 16/08/2017 20:14

Why wait until he is sleeping?

TheDevilMadeMeDoIt · 16/08/2017 20:14

Behaviour like that doesn't come out of nowhere. He has to be a prick for some/all of the other time as well. Have a good think OP, and see if you've come to accept his selfish behaviour as normal.

My suspicion is that because you'd been at home all day he thought it should have been your job to cook (wifework, y'know) so a still partly frozen chicken gave him the perfect excuse to make it all your fault.

There's no way I'd be cooking for him again for a very long time. Do something for you and DS, and when he asks where his is, you know the answer.

aneres · 16/08/2017 20:15

I'd have squirted fairy liquid all over the kebab.

Fluffyears · 16/08/2017 20:21

Oh no no no! Order yourself something right now and be selfish in future just like him. My dp would never do that because he is a loving caring normal human and bit a selfish kebab cunt!

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty · 16/08/2017 20:24

I hope the fact that the chorus has NOT been "just text him" but instead "he's a selfish prick" has made you realise that this is not OK behaviour from him. I also hope you've been able to get yourself something nicer than his manky kebab for dinner.

From now on just cook for you and DS. If he objects you can say "oh I thought we were just sorting ourselves out these days".

Then work out how you leave this selfish arsehole. It's not a little thing, making sure you both have what you need is absolutely core to the concept of respect in a relationship and when its as basic as food, there is something seriously wrong.

People will suggest talking to him, counselling etc but to be honest, if someone doesn't understand the fundamentals of taking care of dinner for their other half and not just themselves, there's not much hope. Sorry Flowers

mscongeniality · 16/08/2017 20:24

What? If my DH ever treated me this way I would know he has no care for me at all. That is beyond selfish of him OP Sad

SpunBodgeSquarepants · 16/08/2017 20:25

I hope this is not typical of his normal behaviour towards you, OP. If it is - well why the fuck are you planning more children with this utter twat. What a brilliant role model he is for your DS.

steff13 · 16/08/2017 20:25

A lot of times on MN, I don't agree with posters who say an issue is bigger than what it is; we are all jerks sometimes, no one is 100% considerate and kind all the time. As long as it isn't an pattern of behavior, I'd be willing to forgive.

However, this really rubs me the wrong way, and I would not want to forgive. First, partially thawed chicken is a non-issue. I guess you don't have a microwave, but you can still cook it if it's still partially frozen. Second, his getting angry that the chicken isn't completely thawed - it's no one's fault, there's no need to be upset about it. Third, to leave and get his own food and not get you anything?! That's just awful behavior. Not only is it rude, it's like he's penalizing you for the chicken being frozen. My co-workers and I ask around if anyone wants something when we go out to pick up lunch, and they're just co-workers!

No, this guy is a douche.

manglethedangle · 16/08/2017 20:26

What an unbelievably selfish cunt.

Does he often do such things?

SleepFreeZone · 16/08/2017 20:28

So the chicken was the only food in the house? No eggs, or tinned food or frozen ready meals? If DP stormed out in a huff and got himself some good I would have just cooked myself an omelette or opened a tin of soup. I don't think I'd be fuming and wanting to choke him in his sleep 🤔 I would think his reaction was knobbish though and would probably ignore him for a week.

Fluffyears · 16/08/2017 20:30

I forgot to defrost dinner on Monday, dp picked me up and we went out! Totally my fault but we dealt with it together as a couple.

kaitlinktm · 16/08/2017 20:30

What did he mean by "think what you want"? Confused

PollyFlint · 16/08/2017 20:30

mind you, sometimes men turn into complete bastards when hungry.

Oh for god's sake, he wasn't starving to death. Discovering a chicken breast hasn't defrosted at tea time doesn't equal desperate hunger, and if it did, he could have got himself a fucking apple or something while they ordered a takeaway.

He didn't behave like this 'because he was hungry', he behaved like this because he was a cunt. And he was equally nasty after he'd eaten, anyway. He didn't apologise and told his wife he didn't care.

Swipe left for the next trending thread