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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what's your biggest regret in life?

413 replies

EagledWingsofRefuge · 16/08/2017 16:09

That and have you regretted more things you didn't do or did do?

I have a difficult decision to make and I'm wondering if I make the wrong choice if it'll turn out to be my biggest regret in life. It just made me wonder, what's everyone else's regrets? And are they over things you regret doing or regret not doing?

OP posts:
Craigie · 17/08/2017 17:46

Genuinely, my ONLY regret is not going to uni.

PaganGoddessBrigid · 17/08/2017 17:50

letting myself be talked out of every idea or instinct I ever had, until I was no longer brave enough to say out loud if I wanted tea or coffee.

Not getting a degree in my 20s (even though I crashed out at school I could have gone back as a mature student).

staying 7 years in an abusive relationship

Not getting a brace

Recently: Not job hunting before I was fired.

user1483875094 · 17/08/2017 17:50

Rejecting my very close and incredibly loyal boy "friend" (not boy-friend) because he didn't seem "cool enough" for me. (We were 16 and 17 and had been "friends" for years. Instead, I dated a "cool" and awful user and cheat for several years, and my lovely Simon moved on, understandably. So very (very) many years later, I still regret it, and still think about him, very often. If I had only been wise enough at the time, I think we would have been one of those incredibly enduring marriages, which would have lasted, quite literally "until death us do part". My one, SERIOUS life regret. Good luck with your choice. xxx

phoenixrose314 · 17/08/2017 18:02

I wish that I hadn't aborted my first baby. I was young and scared and certain it would mean my life was over. I also wish I'd told someone and not gone through the entire experience, and the PTSD that followed, all alone. The thoughts of what could have been have haunted me for the last ten years, and probably always will.

I wish that I had addressed my MH issues sooner as it disrupted my bond with my DS, something that has only recently begun to be repaired. Medication isn't ideal but it's helped me remember who I am beneath the anxiety, fear and depression.

Other smaller regrets.... but these are the two that I genuinely would change given the chance.

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 17/08/2017 18:07

Not taking up a place at University because I wanted to stay with my boyfriend - worst mistake I made - and I didn't end up with him anyway. So regret it.

Shriekable · 17/08/2017 18:09

I regret letting my parents talk me out of what I wanted to do after school: I loved fashion and design and had been designing clothes and making them since I was about 7 ... but my DM insisted I'd never get a job. She actually stopped talking to me at 16 because I was about to commit to a FE course she didn't agree with: I suggested a compromise of doing her preferred sectretarial course for a year then doing my own thing ... still not good enough. I ended up signing up for a 2 year course that I hated, just so DM could tell people 'it's the equilvalent of 2 A Levels'. Well I couldn't do it and failed. So I ended up with an office junior job at 18 as 'only weirdos and layabouts' go to art college. Have always regretted letting her control me in that way. I also regret pushing away some really lovely boys at 16-19 yrs too: DM made me a nervous wreck about sex and afraid to actually talk to boyfriends about it, so I would just dump them and run as soon as they wanted to take things further than kissing. I was raised to put others first and not to say how I felt/argue/have an opinion ... I wish I had been braver.

StrandedStarfish · 17/08/2017 18:16

Married the safe choice rather than my soulmate

Dina1234 · 17/08/2017 18:18

Not investing heavily in Bitcoin when it first started. I saw the figures the other day and my heart just broke.

cushioncovers · 17/08/2017 18:22

Staying married for so long to my exh once I knew the marriage was dead.

NoKnickerElastic · 17/08/2017 18:24

I regret not working harder at my A Levels so I couldn't go to university. I'm very happy with my marriage and children but I've never been in a place to stop work and go back to study. I'm the only one of my friends without a degree and I'd dearly love to study English.

NameChanger22 · 17/08/2017 18:27

I regret most of the things I've ever bought. I have a loft full of junk.

RideOn · 17/08/2017 18:28

Writing not nice reviews (I thought was funny at the time) of 2 people who were my friends in the end of school yearbook. We never had time to make friends again. I did/do keep in touch with 3 other school friends, but not these 2, I'd be ok with them moving on, but I hate that it was left the way it was.

I regret smacking my son some years ago on 2 occasions (not hard enough to hurt him) but still I was angry. I never have again and never will. I am ashamed to type it.

I regret not buying a house when I first had the chance. I regret buying the house I did about 7 years later, just before the crash, house still worth 45k less than what we paid for it. I know this is just greedy but it is a regret

Cyclebird · 17/08/2017 18:31

My degree. Wish I'd done the subject that really interested me instead of one that appeared to provide more professional options.

Littlemissamy · 17/08/2017 18:33

I regret not working harder at my A-levels. I had a job that I thought I wanted to do forever and bombed my exams, which led to a shit university course at a shit uni, in a subject I wasn't interested in. I left after 2 years so now have a shed load of debt with nothing to show for it, as I also bombed those exams because I hated it. Now I'm in a job I like but have no prospects because I can't afford to go back to university for the qualifications I need to progress as I've got my son to support, and I've got no qualifications to get another job without taking a big pay cut. I feel so trapped.

SapphireStrange · 17/08/2017 18:33

I wish I'd put money away right from when I started earning, as in when I was doing Saturday jobs etc as a teenager.

Just getting in the habit of putting away even a few quid a month might have made a big difference to my finances.

Very light-heartedly, when I was doing an office-cleaning job as a student in a different city, I had a flirtation with a good-looking guy who worked in one of the offices. Bumped into him after I'd left the job but didn't take the chance to give him my number/suggest we go for coffee.

It was aeons ago, and I've been with my DP for a long time, but I still sometimes think about it and what might have happened.

Goingtobeawesome · 17/08/2017 18:35

I have two big regrets and I can't even allow myself to think about them as I'll just end up being dangerously sad.

I don't think you should do what you're considering.

How do you now feel? Reliefj or disappointment? That might help you decide.

Lymmmummy · 17/08/2017 18:39

Having children later than I would have liked in all honesty I had no real choice in the matter but it's still something I feel I regret

TickedOff · 17/08/2017 18:40

Not having ds when I was younger and not having more than one Sad

I feel guilty that he doesn't have any siblings, quietly, to myself on occasion. I then have to have a word with myself!

TickedOff · 17/08/2017 18:41

Oh and not having a better relationship with my Dad, only got better 12 months before he died.

MrsT2007 · 17/08/2017 18:43

Not going travelling after I was made redundant

I was young, free, single and 22. It would have been amazing. Instead I was a good girl and got another job.

I regret feeling like I wasted my brains a bit. But there's time yet for me!

LuxuryDrinks · 17/08/2017 18:44

Over eating

Becoming a teacher

Oogle · 17/08/2017 18:45

So many.

Not going to uni
Sleeping with a friend I fell in love with - feeling wasn't mutual
Getting married at 20
Staying married
Wasting my 20s

gwenneh · 17/08/2017 18:49

I have two.

One is not holding up my end of an agreement regarding a loan with my parents. ALL they wanted me to do was pay back the very small loan they'd taken out to cover my university fees, and they only wanted me to pay it over the summer holidays. I had a summer job and could have paid it back quite easily, but I chose not to. And quite rightly, my parents refused to take on any more debt to help me as a result! So I had to stop going to uni, get a job, try to make it on my own...not easy!

Eventually I got back into uni, paid for it myself, and finished my degree. And had I not been there at the time, I'd never have met DH -- I'd have missed him by four years!

My other regret is purchasing a property with DH right before DS1 was born. We panic bought after a bereavement and it's the worst decision we ever made.

Liiinoo · 17/08/2017 18:50

There are probably about a million things I would do differently if I had my time again but my two true regrets are not spending more time with my Granny when she came over here for my wedding. She died very suddenly shortly afterwards. And the other truly massive regret is not having more children. There were many good, practical reasons to limit the size of our family but even now in my late fifties I grieve for the children I didn't have and regret the impact it had on my relationship with my husband.

alltouchedout · 17/08/2017 18:51

Not taking a gap year. I should have. It would have made such a difference.