6yo playing out until 10pm

[eatmytoast]

I don't think IABU but this is not sitting right with me.

I live on a new build estate, my house is right at the start of the development.

There is a boy aged 6 who lives at the furthest back end of the development, however, he is playing outside at our end until 9.30 ish most nights, last night it was 10pm!

There is absolutely no way that his mum can see him from her house, he is completely unsupervised.
I would say it's safe enough apart from cars but surely not for a 6 year old?

I know it's not as safe in the uk as it was when I was growing up in the 80s/90s

what is less safe than the 80s/90s? I think if anything the opposite is true. Parks are not on concrete, cars now have abs brakes, sex offenders are monitored more carefully.

All of those things weren't even on my radar, we were allowed to be kids, was kicked out in the morning and only went back for dinner and tea. Were parents neglectful back then or are we overprotective now?

The estate I grew up on had very few cars, had huge areas of green spaces and a corner shop that served me my mums fags. Maybe I'm remembering with rose-tinted glasses and I should feel hard done by because I was allowed to roam free?

Overprotective now

Im not disappointed at all User, its all working out very well for us and my kids get enough sleep, whats to be disappointed about? I dont understand

Seems to me that the defensive ones are the ones insisting that their bedtimes are the only ones allowed and anything else is neglect. Be confident in your own choices, its fine for you to send your kids to bed earlier than some others do, it doesnt necessarily make you strict and it doesnt make the others bad or neglectful parents. No need to wax lyrical about doing your best while presumably the rest of us are doing, what, shit? it obviously makes some feel better to sneer at other parents choices regarding bedtime and make nonsense comments about neglect, but its not The Right Way For All, its The Right Way For You And Yours.

If parents are happy with their kids bedtimes and the kids are doing fine then everything's good :)

I was never allowed out as a kid unless I was at my nans. I have loads of memories of playing out at my nans and not my mums I know where I preferred to be as a child. I still get angry when I think about my "childhood" on a laptop eating shit and getting fat because I wasn't allowed out and therefore didn't have any friends because I was never allowed out.

I hope that I am never like that and my kids will have their freedom. I cannot understand why people feel it's neglect?

It doesn't matter is it was acceptable in the 80s/90s, it's not acceptable now. My new neighbours let their 5 year old out from first thing in the morning till last thing at night, it's shit parenting.

Shit parenting to let your children play outside! Ok I accept letting a five year old out all day and late evening by themselves without regular check is a little extreme but to let kids out to play in the day and early evening in a quiet cul de sac or street with other kids where the parent can check is not shit parenting

It's shit parenting for your kid to be out in the fresh air and running around? Ok I think this is our country's failing and why we have such a child obesity problem.

I do note the tendency in this type of thread to dismiss all attempt to understand the arguments (extensive academic research even) to support the counter point of view with "it doesn't fit with what I think or do so it's shit" - see also home schooling, attitudes to discipline, etc. Other people making different choices isn't a direct attack on you and your choices. There isn't always one right answer.

There is a world of difference between letting your children play out whilst surpervised and letting a six year old play in the road on a bend in the dark at 10 pm.

He's either not being surprised in which case it neglect and if he is being supervised and they think its ok they are clearly idiots. Neither are good option for that poor boy.

I think everyone recognises that. But also there's a spectrum of acceptable approaches to supervision in this context before you reach neglect. I was interested in the poster who mentioned Germany as a friend was discussing how her 6yo was given free roam with other children when visiting family there. Both she and I normally keep our children on a much shorter leash but we could see the value in a different approach

That's not great at all - there's no way I'd allow a 6 year old out until that time of night. Does he get Called in for meals?

Fwiw I could not live in a more middle class area and all the kids play out here. It's not neglect and is quite insulting to children who have actually been victims of neglect to call it that.

My 6 and 10 year olds have spent most of their free time since about March playing outside. My 10 year old is allowed to the park but my 6 year old is only allowed in the grass in our cul de sac and in the back gardens of 3 of her friends but she has to come tell me if she's doing that. I check on her every 15 minutes or so and she's only allowed out if she's playing with someone - not on her own. I also have the window or door open so I can hear them chattering and playing .

What I'm describing above is a world away from a 6 year old entirely unattended out until after dark and it's not fair to tar everyone who lets their kids play out with the same brush.

am actually amazed that people think a 6 year old being out or even up at 10pm is acceptable. It might be for you but for most responsible people it's unheard of.But hey your bubba ur rulz Huns

Why does it matter if a 6 year old is awake at 10? They aren't fuckin gremlins fluffy. They just wake up later in the morning. Countries all around the world the parents all irresponsible because they don't follow some deranged British tradition of forcing a child to bed at 7.

Still it must do wonders for your self esteem if you can lay claim to their potentially successful careers.