6yo playing out until 10pm

[eatmytoast]

I don't think IABU but this is not sitting right with me.

I live on a new build estate, my house is right at the start of the development.

There is a boy aged 6 who lives at the furthest back end of the development, however, he is playing outside at our end until 9.30 ish most nights, last night it was 10pm!

There is absolutely no way that his mum can see him from her house, he is completely unsupervised.
I would say it's safe enough apart from cars but surely not for a 6 year old?

www.ucl.ac.uk/news/news-articles/news-releases-archive/unsupervised

Professor Mackett goes on to say: “Fears over road safety and ‘stranger danger’ need to be balanced against soaring levels of childhood obesity and poor health. Letting a child out to play is one of the best things a parent can do for their child’s physical health and personal development

He is talking specifically about unsupervised outside play, not taking your kids to the park.

Yes I think is late for children to be playing out without adult supervision

Playing out side with little adult supervision is something I feel many children miss out on (including my own)

And a child being up late in the school holidays is fine playing out in the streets this late isnt

Same Blackheart, my two are like me they feel rotten if they get too much sleep, they only need around 8-9 hours.

I love being able to spend some quality time with them, another friend doesnt get in from work until about 6pm and her DC are in bed for 7pm, up to her and it obviously works for them but I'd hate to nly see my kids for one measly hour a night so its worked out quite well that my two dont need a lot of sleep.

Gah Mine are all grown up now and going through/having gone through university and looking forward to/enjoying great careers. Sleep helps!

Are you suggesting that their uni/great careers are down to them having 12 hours of sleep a night when they were 6?

Ds has never had restricted bedtime in the holidays unless we have had to get up early

Often been in a restaurants way past 10 from younger than 6

Often curled up on my lap sleeping or playing with other children in the dark which they absolutely love to do

I was pg when we bought this house, safety and suitability for playing out was a primary reason for making the choice for this house. By spending hours walking the neighbourhood at all times of the day months before he was born and years before he'd be at an age to actually play out I was already neglecting him, poor kid! He's 16 in a few days, I should ask him if he's been neglected, he'll probably say yes, so I'll bring him a sandwich!

Oh... 6 is definitely too young to be out at 10pm and also out of the sight of his house.

"it's causing no end of trouble and tantrums in my house as my DS can't understand why he has to be in bed whilst a child a year younger is playing out still"

Therein lies the root of this AIBU!

Yes, YAB ridiculous, nevermind U! Kids here play out "unsupervised" all the time, and it's only just getting dark around 9:45pm now here. Kids bedtime is none of your business. I've never understood the ridiculously early bedtimes some seem to have.

Fluffy I have adhd, had very little sleep myself as a child and I managed to walk away with a degree in English lit.

Some judgmental fuckers around here..

Late bedtimes are not my thing (yet) as my elder is three and her sister two so bed time around 6 for the youngest and 8 for the elder. Three year old plays in our front garden semi supervised, I potter about the house while she plays etc once she is old enough I can't wait for her to have the freedom I didn't get as a child. Instead I was a fat teen sat in my laptop and still have major weight issues now. Didn't really learn how to be independent until I was 18 and kicked out. Ended up in some seriously dodgey situations then.

Only on mumsnet could playing out be seen as neglectful

Gah well it kelps but the little buggers would insist on playing video games in the wee hours , the light under the door was a huge give away

That's great heartsgirl well done!

It's great that your kids slept fluffy mine do too. Why is it wrong that some kids sleep less or need less sleep? I mean, every adult I see different so why not every kid..?

I don't get the weird unhealthy fixation with bedtimes for other people's kids either. Your kids go to bed at 4pm? Good for you. My kids go to bed at 10pm, good for me.

Indeed Gah I stick to routines with ds2 as he has autism and learning disabilities and also because I want to settle down with a nice glass of wine__but ds1 can pretty much go to bed when he wants in the holidays.

Absolutely no one I knows allows their children to "play out".

Well I do in our naice middle class rural cul-de-sac . I don't think the world is that different to the 50s at all, other v than these days we have more idea who the paedos are/ we hear more. Yes there's more traffic but it depends where you live.

But not after dinner. So I think the 6yo out at 10pm is wrong personally.

I don't think it's child abuse to let a six y.o. play out til 10pm, but it is definitely late, for a SIX year old. People in my circle of friends and family who have children of infant school age, have them in bed for 8.30pm in the school hols and 7-7.30pm in school time. They are certainly not out playing at 10pm. Not at six years old.

I do find that it's the more middle class, and upper working class families living in cul de sacs, whose young children (4 to 8 y.o.) are in the house by 6pm, and in bed by 8pm. The non-working families from the sink estate, have their 5 year old fetching them fish and chips from the chippy across the other side of the estate at 9pm.

I know that sounds judgemental, but you all know it happens. Don't deny it!

I don't think it's child abuse to let a six y.o. play out til 10pm, but it is definitely late, for a SIX year old.

It's late full stop regardless of age. People want peace and quiet at that time, whatever the bedtime we are all winding down.

Standard for our estate here, there's a group of them running wild over the summer. It reminds me of when I was little and I'm sure in a few years my DS will join in.

Also, I never 'played out' as a child. It did not make me in the least bit 'sad' instead I spent the time reading which was far more beneficial than running around on the street with a bunch of ingrates.

Maybe if you had ever played out, you would have developed better social skills and not turned out to be such an unpleasant, arrogant snob?

so what age is being out notneglect? Say, 10? So onthe eve of their tenth birthday it is neglect but 12 hours later it isn't? Eleven year olds are expected to walk miles to school by themselves but if they then play out after school they are being neglected?

Why are some people getting their knickers in a twist at kids 'even being up' at 10pm(outside for a 6yo at 10 is a bit late though)? Are we supposed to throw them into bed at 7/7.30pm every night, including school holidays. My 6yo is up til 10 most nights in the holidays. She can sleep on in the morning so what's the big deal?

She is out playing every day of the holidays, as are most kids in our street, they all come in for about 8.30. People saying they don't let their kids out, is just cruel. (I don't mean the people who live by main roads who can't let their kids out). It must be awful for the kids stuck indoors listening to and seeing all the others outside having a great time.

We snobsget on fabulously thank you very much. There was no real need for me to learn how to play nice with the lower orders seeing as I would never be amongst them and have never had any intention of going into politics.

Dina1234

Go and read another book.